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Old 12-16-2010, 12:00 PM   #6
radius
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Quote:
Originally Posted by James_Wilde View Post
Li Ya is a young woman from a poor and rural part of China, too ugly, by the standards of her neighbours, and too independent-minded to have serious prospects of a good marriage. So, when a distant cousin invites her to travel far away from home and work in his family's restaurant for a huge sum of money which she can use as a dowry, the offer seems too good to be true. The money will help her look after her family, when her parents grow old, and she is, after all, only a girl, so the risks are easily ignored.

Lennart lives a lonely, introverted life in the big city, his relief found in frequent visits to his brother's family an hour's journey out of town. When he hears of Li Ya's plight, he is only marginally interested, and besides there are hindrances which prevent him from getting involved.
Hi James,

Just some mild criticism of your blurb above

"so the risks are easily ignored" - what risks? She's just going to work at a restaurant. Granted the restaurant is far away, but it belongs to a family member so how dangerous could it be?

"When he hears of Li Ya's plight" - what plight? Her opportunity to make enough money for a dowry and take care of her parents? Doesn't sound that bad...

I think you haven't upped the stakes enough in terms of telling us just what danger Li Ya might be in.
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