<<Sometimes things just have to work... this does not, not at all, and I am in a bit of a panic since my goal was to load the Nook up with books, show her how to do it, and be confident she can manage w/o undo hassles.>>
I think I can understand what you're going through, as I've thought about getting a Nook for my mother, She loves nothing more than reading at home, unless it is hanging out in a nearby Barnes and Noble and reading there. However, even though she manages okay with electronics I'm not sure she has the patience to deal with the little foibles of almost any ereader I can think of. I thought of giving her a Nook for Christmas, but since we live at a once-a-year-visit distance from each other, I will probably wait until I go there and let her try out my Nook to see if she gets hooked, teach her to use it, and then get one for her.
As to what's happening with you now, you can find complaints in this forum and others about problems like yours with each of the popular ereaders. But though things like this just sort of go with the territory, having one problem like this doesn't mean that you will have any more once you've gotten this one straightened out. Since you say this started right after doing the update, the particular problem you're having might be solved and never reappear if you go through the basic troubleshooting procedures. You've already done the hard reset using the power button, so try removing the battery for at least 10 seconds as outlined in the manual (
http://images.barnesandnoble.com/pim..._NOOK_v1_5.pdf, page 22-23). Taking away the power from a device like this will straighten out a host of ills.
If those steps don't work, by all means call support and get them to replace it.
Good luck, and I hope this works out for you.