Thread: Seriousness Personal Interactions in Internet
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Old 12-10-2010, 12:57 AM   #62
devilsadvocate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beppe View Post
I would like to take what you wrote out of the polemical contest and recast it as:

... online relationships are not all about "fun," there are other points to them. They can provide emotional support, or can work towards shared goals, or can help each other out in times of need. They are not entirely individual, they can be connected to a person's family life.


This is what I get out of your post. I think it can be useful.
Again, thank you.
I'll see your context and raise you one example.

Not only can online relationships be about something other than "fun", if there are real feelings involved they can be seriously painful. If your relationship exists primarily online, it's likely because a physical analog isn't possible, usually (though not always) because of distance.

Shel and I fell in love online not because we chose to; quite the opposite, we had no choice in the matter. There were several starts and stops over those first couple of years, and sh!t got real a few times like the time I suspected it was not she to whom I was talking but an archenemy of hers impersonating her (they lived in the same house at the time). There were times we decided it just wouldn't work out, and we'd stop talking for a few months (or more). Finally, things got so bad on her end that I launched a pre-emptive strike and bought her a plane ticket. 2 plane trips and an ice storm later, we were finally together. Of all the things we recall about our online-only past, the word "pleasant" doesn't rush to mind.

You know what though? Take out the "online" part of it and it could be any other relationship. We still argue sometimes, and it's still split about evenly between her hormones and my insecurity (also, our jobs suck). The fact that it all "just works" is what makes it so romantic/cool/wonderful/fill-in-your-favorite-superlative. Online, on the phone, long-distance love-letters...they all just serve the purpose of the communications medium; it's what gets communicated which determines whether it works.
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