[Elfwreck]

Originally Posted by beppe

In the virtual dimensions (that I will just call virtual), as opposed to the real, where the two would meet, have drinks together, play tennis or bridge, go out for dinner or to exhibitions or ballet, invite each other for the weekend, share materially what they please, our two internauts might not do all these things.

People who develop serious, long-term relationships online consider them "real." They call the other kind "physical." (Or "meatspace," although that's a bit flippant.)

As an example let me consider one of the first functions in developing a new relation, that is showing interest. In the virtual, it has to be done in view of everyone, while in the real there is more privacy.

Nope. Plenty of interest-showing online happens through private messages, emails, and isolated chat sessions. Initial meetings online are almost all public, but the get-to-know-each-other stage can have as much privacy as the people wish.

A different “language” is to be used in the virtual. I have the impression that there might be need for more deliberate actions, to substitute the lack of voice and body motion, and on the other hand, having more time for reacting and observing, even a tiny hint might attain a result.

This, yes. Aside from emoticons & smileys, and acronyms like LOL and OMGWTFBBQ, there are in-jokes and methods of phrasing that show the textual equivalent of tone of voice, posture, and degree of intimacy being claimed.

In support of this, I like to imagine that the interactions in the virtual are between avatars and not actual selves.

This sometimes works, and sometimes causes a great deal of strife. Many people seem to forget there are other humans behind those avatars, and feel comfortable lashing out or being hateful in ways they'd never do in a physical meeting.

A further point on the topic, is that Internet personal interactions can be beneficial to those who are more socially inhibited in real life. This would be confirmed by the recent poll on extroversion-introversion. In the poll it was observed that overall extroverts and introverts have similar percentage, while on MobileRead there were about 88% of the 115 who cared to answer, that declared to be introvert (!)

The internet, in removing the requirement for immediate response and overt emotional display, is a lot more comfortable for many introverts. I'm an extreme introvert; I'm not sure I've ever willingly introduced myself to a stranger in "real life." Online, I'm comfortable joining new forums on a whim, making intro posts, and jumping into random conversations.

Some questions to stimulate comments and posting.
Is privacy necessary, important, useful to virtual relations?

It can be; it functions differently in internet relationships, because it's *entirely invisible* to others. In physical life, people who spend a lot of time being private together are noticed; others can recognize that they have some kind of connection. Privacy online makes it possible to have deep relationships that other people know nothing about.

Are virtual relations comparable to real ones?

Comparable in what way?
Meaningful? Sure. If I listed my 10 closest friends at the moment, two of them are people I've never physically met.
Romantic? Sometimes. (Not my thing. Tried it; doesn't work right for me.)
Spiritual? I've had terrific luck with spiritual connections online.

Do you think of your ways on the Internet in light of social relations?

I have a lot more social connections on the internet than I do in meatspace.

Can an Internet relation develop and attain high levels of personal involvement and gratification without spilling into real life?

Define "spilling into"--the two close friends I mentioned, I've had hours-long phonecalls with.

I do have other friends that I care for deeply, that I've never spoken to, nor am likely to; there's language barriers. (I have no idea how good their spoken English is, and my spoken Hebrew is nonexistent.)