Just saw a piece on the news about the 30th anniversary of John Lennon's death, and felt my usual unsettled mix of resentment and sadness. On the day Lennon was shot I was sitting at the hospital watching my father die of pancreatic cancer, and I remember when one of the nurses came in and told me what had happened to Lennon, it was like something happening on another planet. I had absolutely no emotional resources left over to care about anything outside of that room. I'm sad about it now, because I actually really loved John Lennon, but now every time I hear anything about his death it takes me to a bad place in my head.
