ATTENTION VOTERS
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE
There are a number of people who can cast their vote for the US.
Those living in the following US Territories please cast your vote now;
Guam
Northern Mariana Islands
Puerto Rico
United States Virgin Islands
American Samoa
Wake Island
Midway Islands
As Mexico has given us so much (Texas
, but please take back California
) let me invite all undocumented ______________ (Please fill in whatever term you favor) to cast their first vote for America. The same applies to all our brothers and sisters south of Mexico. You do after all live in (S) America.
Also, all Americans who fled to Canada during the draft now have full amnesty and can change your vote to American.
It has come to my attention that many in India speak two versions of English. I would like to invite all who speak the proper form of English (American, that is) to vote American also.
There are probably many others that I have not mentioned. Let me invite anyone who has some relationship to mankind to vote American too.
Our pets are family also. So by all means, help them cast a proper vote.