Quote:
Originally Posted by mukoan
Hi,
I'm having issues with ensuring the ownership of something is clear to the reader. I was wondering if anybody had some tips that could help.
For example, take the following:
"Bill was not the brightest of men, and in late night drunken monologues he would often relate bitterly to his son how in hindsight he could have perhaps chosen a better target."
The above was a bit taken out of a scene I'm writing (nouns and Pro-nouns changed to protect the innocent). In the scene, the POV is the "son". The part I'm confused about is "he would often relate bitterly to his son how in hindsight he could have perhaps chosen a better target." When I wrote that, I wanted to convey that the father, "Bill", could have chosen HIMSELF a better target. But when I re-read it, I can see that one could take it to mean the "son" could have chosen a better target.
Who indeed owns the wish to choose a better target?
I've got bits like that peppered throughout my writing and I'm wondering if I'm over-analysing it, or it's indeed an issue I need to nip in the bud.
Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Mk.
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Why not let the reader hear one of these "late night drunken monologues" and let your character tell the reader exactly how he feels. This way you don't need to worry about trying to interpret for the reader what may be a complex emotion. The nuances will come out in your character's own words.