WHAT THE BUTLER SAW ......
GETTING INTO A JAM
PART SECUNDUM
"Well mum," murmured Jeeves, "If I might direct your attention to that unsightly heap of feathers and bloody offal on the drainboard. I had entered the kitchen earlier this evening to initiate the preparation of Colonel Alex's hot toddy, when my delicate yet sensitive olfactory sense detected something distinctly "off" in the kitchen. Fearing an incursion of vermin, I investigated immediately and located this loathsome leftover. I immediately fastened upon kennyc as the likely culprit, as he has quite the reputation for chicken harassment, slaughter, and consumption. While I was upbraiding him over his carnal culinary activities, I noted out of the corner of my eye Pshrynk and Nekokami had entered the kitchen, arguing vociferously by the refrigerator. Pshrynk was holding something in front of him, and both were bending over this unknown object"
"What were they arguing about?" questioned Zelda, not really expecting to receive an unambiguous answer.
"Well mum," prevaricated the lightly perspiring Jeeves ....
"I know, I know .... you can't be 100% positive of what you overheard, won't swear to it in court, yadda, yadda, yadda, ... I've heard it all before! Just get on with it man!" interrupted Zelda rudely.
"Vraiment dommage qu'on n'a pas de télécommande pour ce genre de trucs, l'avance rapide m'arrangerait grave juste là."
*cough* Jeeves cleared his throat and fixed an admonitory gaze 1/8 inch above Zelda's left eye, continuing "Well, my attention WAS fixed on extracting a confession from the wily kennyc as to the authorship of the grisly gastronomic goulash reposing on the drainboard, so that all I can recall clearly hearing was Nekokami screaming "No", "watch out", and "that's no way".
"I'm sure other words were shrieked, errr, spoken forcefully by the young lady, but I did not catch them. Pshrynk's remarks were spoken too softly to be discerned. It WAS storming you know."
"Did you see anything suspicious?"
"Well, my attention was focused on that dastardly kennyc, but several times I thought my perceptive peripheral powers of vision had noted Nekokami's upraised arm bearing this enormous jar aloft, over Pshrynk's bent head. But then I heard Colonel Alex's bell ringing furiously, and rushed out of the kitchen, tardy with his evening hot toddy. As I turned to close the door behind me, I saw as in a flickering frame of film, Pshrynk still alive framed by a lightning back-drop, with Nekokami front and center brandishing the jar of strawberry jam."
Noting the somewhat resentful tone of voice from the offended manservant, Zelda turned to corroborate Jeeves' statement with kennyc. But he had managed to slither away into the darkness during the interminable monologue, leaving a slowly congealing trail of knee prints leading into the Stygian darkness of the kitchen. Jeeves remained sulkily silent, offering no further embellishment to his tale.
Bending again to the cooling corpse, Zelda began freeing the paperback from Pshrynk's hand, one sticky finger at a time.
"Bon, je te savais bec sucré, mais là tu pousses le bouchon un peu trop loin, Maurice."
The book finally popped free from Pshrynk's posthumous grasp, landing Zelda on her derriere looking up at the towering valet.
"Perhaps you wish to corroborate my report with Miss Nekokami" asked Jeeves. "I believe she is still on the premises."
Paperback firmly adhered to her hand, Zelda accompanied the petulant butler into the hallway and down a steep set of stairs.
[What fresh horror awaits Zelda in the bowels of the MR building?]
[Does anyone care about the allegedly deceased chicken?]
[Where did kennyc slither off to?]