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poohbear_nc · 11-01-2010, 11:45 AM

WHAT THE BUTLER SAW ......

THE DAYS OF WINE AND ROSÉ

PART THE FIRST

Zelda pulled herself together and turned to the patiently waiting butler. "Nate, errr, Jeeves, can we go back to Pshrynk's body? It looks like it's up to me to solve his murder and apprehend the miscreant."

"As you wish mum," murmured Jeeves, "If you would kindly step this way."

Zelda couldn't help staring at Jeeves' face, muttering "I could have sworn you were DaleDe before, but I guess it was a trick of the light."

"Yes mum," agreed the sharp-eared manservant, "appearances can be deceiving in these conditions of suboptimal illumination."

They proceeded back down the corridor, their tiny wavering circle of candle light throwing grotesquely magnified shadows in front of them. Zelda stopped suddenly, seizing Jeeves' arm in a painful grip.
"Did you see that?" she whispered hoarsely? "A gray dog just ran down the hall ahead of us. It looks like vivaldirules is here tonight too! I wonder if he's seen anything fishy?"

Jeeves gently but firmly disengaged Zelda's long fingernails from the now tattered sleeve of his jacket and replied "Sorry mum, I didn't see anything but the shadows. As I mentioned, appearances can ..."

"Yes, yes" interrupted Zelda, "I get it. You're the perfect servant: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Colonel Alex's perfect little toady."

"No need for insults," whispered the ashen-faced Jeeves, "I try to give satisfaction to my master."

"T'inquiète, on a compris. Comptez sur les domestiques pour toujours voir ce qu'il faudrait pas, en étant eux-mêmes invisibles."

Spoiler:

They slowly descended the barren stairs. Zelda noted, but forbore to comment on, the line of wet dog tracks preceding them to the crime scene. They slowly approached the chilling corpse, still afloat in a large reddish puddle, book clutched in hand.

Zelda tip-toed forward, eyes glued to the grisly sight of her friend, her mind awhirl with speculation and suspicions. Who were pshrynk's enemies? Who wanted him dead? Who could perform such a heinous deed of dastardly violence?

She knelt next to his outstretched hand, careful to keep her skirt from touching the sticky red pool. Even in her dazed condition, she noticed the flurry of paw prints spread widely through the grisly puddle. Slowly, carefully, she reached out and removed the sodden paperback from his lifeless grasp.

"Yecchhh" she hissed, "I don't remember any of Nancy Drew's clues being this disgusting" Holding the dripping book by its spine, she continued her examination of the body.

"I wonder what the murder weapon was," she mused aloud.

*cough*
A discreet cough behind her reminded her that Jeeves was still standing behind her. "Excuse me for the rude intrusion, but I couldn't help overhearing your query. Perhaps this object might be of interest to you?"

Looking up, Zelda's eyes widened with terror as she saw Jeeves holding a large empty wine bottle above her head. She desperately lunged to the side, dropping the book, trying to escape what seemed to be certain death!

Jeeves continued, politely ignoring her irrational display of terror, "I found this bottle lying by his head. Perhaps it is the weapon you are seeking?"

Badly rattled by the bizarre sequence of events, Zelda lost her sophisticated European poise and blurted "Blimey, Pshrynk got brained with a bottle of bubbly!"

In the next convenient lightning flash, Jeeves examined the label and demurred, "No mum, not 'a bottle of bubbly' but rather a 2006 Saint Pourçain. An excellent choice indeed."

"An excellent choice for what? A murder weapon?"
"Tant qu'à faire, autant massacrer avec un bon cru, sans doute."

Spoiler:

As Zelda crawled over the chill marble floor to regain the dropped book, Jeeves continued to descant as if nothing untoward had occurred. "This bottle closely resembles the bottle I observed earlier suspended over the decedent's head. But I may be mistaken. I wasn't close enough to read the label."

Slowly, Zelda raised her eyes to the motionless manservant. Softly she inquired, "What are you saying, man? Did you see who murdered Pshrynk?"

Sure to be continued in Part The Second!

[Was Jeeves about to brain Zelda with the evidence?]
[Did Jeeves see the murderer?]
[Is the mystery over before it begins?]

11-01-2010, 11:45 AM	#8
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 64,091 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	WHAT THE BUTLER SAW ...... THE DAYS OF WINE AND ROSÉ PART THE FIRST Zelda pulled herself together and turned to the patiently waiting butler. "Nate, errr, Jeeves, can we go back to Pshrynk's body? It looks like it's up to me to solve his murder and apprehend the miscreant." "As you wish mum," murmured Jeeves, "If you would kindly step this way." Zelda couldn't help staring at Jeeves' face, muttering "I could have sworn you were DaleDe before, but I guess it was a trick of the light." "Yes mum," agreed the sharp-eared manservant, "appearances can be deceiving in these conditions of suboptimal illumination." They proceeded back down the corridor, their tiny wavering circle of candle light throwing grotesquely magnified shadows in front of them. Zelda stopped suddenly, seizing Jeeves' arm in a painful grip. "Did you see that?" she whispered hoarsely? "A gray dog just ran down the hall ahead of us. It looks like vivaldirules is here tonight too! I wonder if he's seen anything fishy?" Jeeves gently but firmly disengaged Zelda's long fingernails from the now tattered sleeve of his jacket and replied "Sorry mum, I didn't see anything but the shadows. As I mentioned, appearances can ..." "Yes, yes" interrupted Zelda, "I get it. You're the perfect servant: see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. Colonel Alex's perfect little toady." "No need for insults," whispered the ashen-faced Jeeves, "I try to give satisfaction to my master." "T'inquiète, on a compris. Comptez sur les domestiques pour toujours voir ce qu'il faudrait pas, en étant eux-mêmes invisibles." Spoiler: Don't worry, I get it. Count on the help to always see what shouldn't be seen, while being invisible themselves. They slowly descended the barren stairs. Zelda noted, but forbore to comment on, the line of wet dog tracks preceding them to the crime scene. They slowly approached the chilling corpse, still afloat in a large reddish puddle, book clutched in hand. Zelda tip-toed forward, eyes glued to the grisly sight of her friend, her mind awhirl with speculation and suspicions. Who were pshrynk's enemies? Who wanted him dead? Who could perform such a heinous deed of dastardly violence? She knelt next to his outstretched hand, careful to keep her skirt from touching the sticky red pool. Even in her dazed condition, she noticed the flurry of paw prints spread widely through the grisly puddle. Slowly, carefully, she reached out and removed the sodden paperback from his lifeless grasp. "Yecchhh" she hissed, "I don't remember any of Nancy Drew's clues being this disgusting" Holding the dripping book by its spine, she continued her examination of the body. "I wonder what the murder weapon was," she mused aloud. cough A discreet cough behind her reminded her that Jeeves was still standing behind her. "Excuse me for the rude intrusion, but I couldn't help overhearing your query. Perhaps this object might be of interest to you?" Looking up, Zelda's eyes widened with terror as she saw Jeeves holding a large empty wine bottle above her head. She desperately lunged to the side, dropping the book, trying to escape what seemed to be certain death! Jeeves continued, politely ignoring her irrational display of terror, "I found this bottle lying by his head. Perhaps it is the weapon you are seeking?" Badly rattled by the bizarre sequence of events, Zelda lost her sophisticated European poise and blurted "Blimey, Pshrynk got brained with a bottle of bubbly!" In the next convenient lightning flash, Jeeves examined the label and demurred, "No mum, not 'a bottle of bubbly' but rather a 2006 Saint Pourçain. An excellent choice indeed." "An excellent choice for what? A murder weapon?" "Tant qu'à faire, autant massacrer avec un bon cru, sans doute." Spoiler: Well, might as well choose a good year, for your massacres, I guess. As Zelda crawled over the chill marble floor to regain the dropped book, Jeeves continued to descant as if nothing untoward had occurred. "This bottle closely resembles the bottle I observed earlier suspended over the decedent's head. But I may be mistaken. I wasn't close enough to read the label." Slowly, Zelda raised her eyes to the motionless manservant. Softly she inquired, "What are you saying, man? Did you see who murdered Pshrynk?" Sure to be continued in Part The Second! [Was Jeeves about to brain Zelda with the evidence?] [Did Jeeves see the murderer?] [Is the mystery over before it begins?]