I guess I don't understand your goal here. You aren't willing to take the time to let Amazon walk you thru a few Troubleshooting steps before they agree to overnight your replacement, but you'd like for us to suggest a few Troubleshooting steps?
Try a factory reset and then download one book and see if it clear out your problems.
Then ---- call Amazon. And they'll walk you thru a couple of Troubleshooting steps and if they don't work they'll send a new one out.
Or ... just call Amazon. My Mom's Kindle 2 did that funky split screen thing last week and her Service call was under 10 minutes and her replacement was in her hands the next day. They really do try to make it as painless as possible, as painless as it can be with a wonky electronic device.
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