[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by Lady Fitzgerald

I work Renaissance Festivals (I have a two weekend gig coming up two weekends from now) and have access to all the live steel (with an edge) I can afford. I prefer my wit and my tongue for weapons (with which I have unmanned many a man).

I have very occasionally run into people who are too dull and unimaginative for that to work on.

Originally Posted by recluse

I say you track the offender down to their workplace and leap into their cubicle like a rabid flounder. Drive them to the floor, kicking them about the head with mad abandon. Use whatever is at hand to bash their little skull in. Staple them with glee. Whip them with random wiring. Violate their nasal cavities with the phone. Improvise. And then, slip off your shoes and dance barefoot in their brain matter. Wiggle your toes in it. Giggle if the spirit moves you. Then take a deep breath, slip on your shoes, and leap screaming into the next occupied cubicle. Now that you've warmed up, you can go completely narking phutz.

I feel less stressed just reading that *mmmm squishy brain dance*