I have the sony 350 and i love it, have not noticed any problems regarding refresh rate, touch screen is excellent. The only downside to it is the price.
Tested the Kobo at chapters and found it to be so slow turning pages and it looked like the screen had an image burned into it. Would not recommend that one but hopefully the new one will be better, may get that one as a christmas present for my wife if it is improved.
My brother has the nook and he is very happy with it, i haven't had a chance to play with it, he is in Finland working at the moment.
Ebook readers are such a great device i think you will be very happy with whatever you decide to get for your wife.
Andre
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