[recluse]

I once garroted an elf.
Not that I have anything against the pointy eared little nerbils, you understand.
I really wanted to strangle a smurf.
I don't know how the blue fugnuts found out, but I never saw one.
So I garroted an elf.
It was kinda fun.
It did turn sorta blue towards the end.
Gotta take what you can get sometimes, I suppose.
Maybe I'll get a smurf this year.
High hopes for that.
But, just in case, I've got a list of alternatives.
Fairy princess.
Power Ranger. The pink one.
"Twilight" mascara morons.
Harry Potter. Twice.
Anything under 4' tall, for variety.
Little snots ain't gonna get away with ringing my doorbell on Halloween this year.
It's my candy.
And rules are rules.
Trick OR Treat, right?
Maybe I'll just go for the parents.
I do put up a sign.
"Touch my doorbell with your digit,
and I'll string up your costumed midget."
Fair warning, you know.
Completely legal.
It's trespassing.
Beggary.
Extortion.
Won't put up with it.
Just wanna watch the Vincent Price movie marathon.
Have a little liquor drink to cut the phlegm.
Not my job to feed other peoples genetic runoff.
Nope.
I really wanna strangle a smurf.
I garroted an elf once, though.