Quote:
Originally Posted by FlorenceArt
Can't see anything wrong with these two sentences myself... the first one you quoted was a bit too much, yes, but not these two IMO.
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You're right-- it is a "once you start noticing the first ones, you notice them all" issue-- but both sentences flow much better without the two red superfluous commas. And the same issue crops up over and over. And-- the first sentence could do to have a comma between "sized" and "featureless"
"Everything was repackaged
, in variously sized featureless white gelatin capsules, which he was forbidden to open."
"He'd pushed the empty white bubble-pack, with its tiny, precisely handwritten notations of date and hour
, in purple ink, far down into the seatback pocket.