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ardeegee · 09-07-2010, 05:18 PM

I've started reading Zero History Zero and it is fracking filled with unneeded commas. So many that it is constantly pulling me out of the story. One example out of many:

"Someone, within the silent, apparently closed building, rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring."

When of course it would have read better as:

"Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring."

Or even

"Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped once sharply on plate glass, perhaps with a ring."

If that was the only example in the book, that would be nitpicking, but they are everywhere.

Major editing fail.

09-07-2010, 05:18 PM	#2
ardeegee Maratus speciosus butt Posts: 3,292 Karma: 1162698 Join Date: Sep 2009 Device: PRS-350	What the hell is going on here? I've started reading Zero History Zero and it is fracking filled with unneeded commas. So many that it is constantly pulling me out of the story. One example out of many: "Someone, within the silent, apparently closed building, rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring." When of course it would have read better as: "Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped sharply, once, on plate glass, perhaps with a ring." Or even "Someone within the silent, apparently closed building rapped once sharply on plate glass, perhaps with a ring." If that was the only example in the book, that would be nitpicking, but they are everywhere. Major editing fail.