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Old 08-30-2010, 03:50 PM   #2
Elfwreck
Grand Sorcerer
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Location: SF Bay Area, California, USA
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Starting in the middle of a crisis is a nice hook, but I wouldn't continue reading; three grammatical errors (one serious), passive voice, and lack of a clear POV tell me I'm not likely to enjoy reading the book, no matter how compelling I'd find the events & characters.
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