I haven't had any of the problems that were stated in the OP. I love the touch screen on the Nook and I don't notice shadows or glare with the back border. Actually, it is heavier than I originally wanted, but even when spending all night in bed reading till 4am, I didn't have sore wrists or fingers. My hands were going to sleep though, but I have bad circulation so it was due to movement (or lack of).
Most of it is a personal preference. Looks might be silly to you but important to me, no biggie. Obviously these things really bother you, and the Kindle 3 looks like an amazing reader so I would definitely go for one of those if I were in your shoes. Good luck with the K3!
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