I love your twisted brain, too, but I have yet to buy it.
There's too many indy books that start off:
"See Bob. See Bob kiss Jane. 'Wow!' Jane gasped, her bosoms heaving with extreme excitement."
I want to read books like this:
"See Bob the zombie as he lowered his puffy, dead lips the color of rotted bananas toward Jane's heaving breasts. "Ugh!" Jane expectorated. "Did you brush your teeth this morning?"
If your book's like that (or even about unhappy, alienated dead things), then I'll delay reading John Updike and start on yours.
Don