Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Drib
I just read your story, "The Touch of Isis," and thoroughly enjoyed it.
VERY, VERY POSITIVE:
I think your writing is first rate, and would love to read (translate that into "Purchase") a novel from you.
Your dialogue is mainly very, very good (to my ear).
Your writing flows and the story moves along very briskly.
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Thank you. It's nice to hear comments like this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Drib
HELPFUL CRITICAL COMMENTS:
I thought the plot line for the story needed more of a backstory for us to better understand the motivation from the characters. I see this story as affording an excellent "Introduction" to a novel.
I thought the time division at the end of the story to be very awkward and 'cutesy,' [and not really necessary], and that it watered down the body of the story.
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It's even nicer to hear comments like this. I really do appreciate constructive criticism.
A word of explanation about the length. This story was written as a submission to a writing contest, and the constraint was 5000 words. I'm a bit reluctant to change it while the contest is still going on (until the end of August), but after that I may revisit it and flesh it out. You're not the first to point out its lack of backstory. I'd post the link to the contest, but I'm not sure it's appropriate here. (An adult toy website - a google search on the title will get you there)
And I do tend to have endings like this. I was raised on a lot of Twilight Zone and O. Henry, so the late plot twist is something I go for. But I'll keep your thoughts in mind when I revisit the story.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Drib
Thank you for allowing me to read this.
I'm going to download the rest of your work just as soon as I finish my cup of coffee. 
Don |
Nice! I appreciate it.