Thread: My free stories
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Old 07-22-2010, 07:55 AM   #3
Dr. Drib
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Posts: 45,458
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Peru
Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour
I just read your story, "The Touch of Isis," and thoroughly enjoyed it.

VERY, VERY POSITIVE:

I think your writing is first rate, and would love to read (translate that into "Purchase") a novel from you.

Your dialogue is mainly very, very good (to my ear).

Your writing flows and the story moves along very briskly.


HELPFUL CRITICAL COMMENTS:

I thought the plot line for the story needed more of a backstory for us to better understand the motivation from the characters. I see this story as affording an excellent "Introduction" to a novel.

I thought the time division at the end of the story to be very awkward and 'cutesy,' [and not really necessary], and that it watered down the body of the story.

__________________

Thank you for allowing me to read this.

I'm going to download the rest of your work just as soon as I finish my cup of coffee.



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