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Old 07-18-2010, 11:54 AM   #19
mandahill
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mr ploppy View Post
It's too posh, unless they're both toffs. If they are toffs they wouldn't say things like "bloke".
I'd agree - 'infernal Society blokes' sounds particularly odd. Infernal being very upper class as an adjective and blokes being much more informal. 'damned Society types' would fit an upper class speaker, while '[expletive of choice] Society blokes' would be better for someone less posh.

The only other piece of dialogue that gave me pause was 'with prejudice'. It's not a phrase I've ever heard a British English speaker use (although admittedly I don't move in legal circles!), although I have heard 'without prejudice'.

And there's an awful lot of grinning happening in this short extract. You might want to replace one of them with a smile, instead.

Amanda
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