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Hush, Kindlekitten, hush.
Listen to me.
Listen to your heart.
You are doing the right thing, no matter how much pain your mom gives you.
What must be, must be.
Things are said that should never be said.
Words that cut and never heal.
One is always chosen. The black sheep. To be the "sin eater". The bearer of all the family's pain.
I know. I've heard those words. Too many times. They led me to the brink of self destruction.
I don't say this easily. I barely resisted the temptation.
The pain will linger long in your heart and mind. No lie.
The good you do has to be enough to resist dwelling on it.
Not easy. But you are stronger than I am. If I can, you can.
And will.
You are a good woman.
You are doing the right thing.
You are right about your father and the drinking. I don't know what medication he is on, but withdrawal is very dangerous. And a drop to ease the "pain" is insane. I don't know much about maintenance drinking, but it is a fine line. AA might be able to help explain. I can't think of any other reliable source.
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