Zombies also don't die of viral infections, because they're already undead. (Huh?)
Zombies don't get Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), and apparently do not defecate. (Curiously, zombies continue to shamble even when their intestines may be hanging out. Go figure.)
MODERATOR HAT ON: We must be careful in any discussion here on MobileRead about defecation and bodily functions. We don't want to upset any prissy personalities. However, in an ebook collection, one can eat brains and defecate all over the place, and at any time that one chooses. Even zombies. Hahahaha.
MODERATOR HAT OFF.
Zombies don't die of old age.
Zombies don't enter Marathons.
Zombies are always apparently
SHAMBLING, and never appear to rest or sit or sleep.
Zombies are also apparently incapable of carrying on conversations, especially with Moderators. (
)
I've been unable to determine if zombies have personality disorders, unlike the Living who sometimes seek psychiatric help in order to overcome life's problems. Zombies apparently have NO problems.
The above are some ideas to explore - perhaps - in a humorous, pseudo non-fiction piece.
Don