If
we say you are an author poohbear, then YOU ARE AN AUTHOR and a darn good one at that!
You better be practicing your electronic signature! I'm expecting to see your best handwriting. You don't want to make me pull out my rebar! Wait! DesertGrandma is the one who does the whacking upside the head around here! Where is she anyway?
Have you noticed the thread count for this here contest? You've set the (re)bar pretty high for all contests to come!