HIGH NOON
THE CAVALRY ARRIVES -- SORT OF
Meanwhile, back at the Cross-the-Road Chicken Ranch, things were looking might grim .... for Davimeet-ya that is. Ever since the folks had discovered that the Oz-Injuns had kidnapped beppe le cooque, everyone had been demanding she kill and cook up some chickens. But being a soft-hearted soul, Davimeet-ya had made friends with all the little feather folk, and had even named them. She couldn't even think of killing one, let alone frying it up for dinner! So she had barricaded herself in the largest of the chicken houses, vowing to fight to the death to defend her feathered charges.
KennyC(hicken)'s family and crew were getting mighty hungry. All the snacks were gone. The stores of hidden chocolate set aside by IAm(NotAChicken) were found and gone in minutes. She was weeping bitterly, sifting the empty, well-licked, wrappers over and over, desperately searching for a crumb of semi-sweet wonderfulness. Alas, there was none to be found.
Despair had settled like a wet, dingy, forlorn blanket over the ranch.
Only the chickens were happy and well-fed.
Then GeoffC(hicken) ran shouting from the gate "Look! On the horizon! A large cloud of dust! Coming this way!"
"Now what" grumbled KennyC as he ambled slowly to the gate, shading his eyes from the still-blinding sun. The entire household poured out into the yard to see what new disaster was charging their way.
"Is it the Oz-Injuns again" shrieked Pshellyrose? "Is it Alex" shrieked Psweetpea?
"Quiet down right now" snapped Rebar-toting-Mom, the strictest governess in three counties. "You still have to finish your French grammar lesson before you're allowed out for recess!" In spite of wearing gowns slathered with bright yellow sunflowers, Rebar-t-Mom was tough, and kept those two gals under control. She began dragging the two reluctant students back to the school room just as the on-coming horses thundered into the yard!
What a sight for sore eye! For any eyes really, if truth be told.
Perched on the lead horse was DrillSergeantVick, a short fellow with a big round head. His arms tended to fall off unexpectedly, but fortunately he had OnMyKnees the 3rd to grab them back up and reattach them - a true first-aide-de-camp. The rest of the pack were even more .... let's say interesting ... to the eye. A more rag-tag, sorry band of losers it was hard to imagine. Let's imagine then ....
LetsChaseFeathers had caught wind of the chicken barn, making the propeller on his beanie spin fast enough to lift him off his horse! Oddman-the-terrible was having trouble getting his bionic leg out of the stirrup. LadyBlueEye was glaring at KennyC so hard he felt his hair begin to singe. Neilmarry was decorously tucking his kilt back down over his knees. SparrowHawk and Javed the Blue Djinn were floating over their troup giving the chicken barn a beady-eyed inspection. Funnily enough, all the horses had these big, square saddle bags.
Silence fell on the two groups, staring open-mouthed at each other.
Then OnMyKnees the 3rd stepped forward, dropped to his knees, reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a chit of paper and asked:
"This the party that ordered 250 pullet-supreme pizzas ...... and one diet Coke?"
Another hush fell on the crowd, soon broken by the two girls screaming "The pizza man's here! Lots of them! One for each of us and some left over! Pizzas, we mean, not men! Well, maybe men too!"
KennyC slowly asked "Did you say ONE diet Coke?"
OMK3 consulted his chit again and said "Yup. That's the order. One."
"That's right" shouted a voice from inside the ranch house. Joyous_Cowpat ran out and grabbed the Coke, saying "You know I've been trying to lose some weight -- so I ordered a diet Coke." He grabbed one of the pizzas and ran back into the house shouting "Can't hang around here. I'm going to pass my old posting record in minutes."
The rest of the ranch hands began to edge forward and pull pizzas out of the thermally insulated saddle bags.
OMK3 cleared his throat and said "You'll be paying in cash of course?"
IAm spoke up "Surely you'll accept a check?"
LadyBlueEye turned the full glare of the god-awfullest strangest eye anyone had ever seen onto IAm, and she visibly shrank even shorter under the relentless rain of snarky rays!
KennyC stepped up to defend his little woman. "GeoffC -- you're the overseer of this ranch. You'll see to this, right?"
KennyC swiveled back to the rag-tag pack and said "Are you the cavalry or the pizza delivery?"
Another hush fell. Eyes swiveled back and forth amongst the group, especially OMK3's eyes - which seemed able to look in different directions simultaneously. Watching them made you queasy.
DSVDave cleared his throat and answered "Yes and yes."
(To Be Continued .... )
(Feel like a pizza?)
(Who ordered the Coke?)
(Is Recluse still rocking the kitten?)
(Has the doggie doomed his band to certain death?)
(Is Florence spying on the courting pair in the Llounge saloon?)
(And does anyone still remember Alex? And the unmentionable object?)