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poohbear_nc · 07-10-2010, 03:47 PM

I must share my "grocery shopping trip to hell" I've just returned from.

[Preface: I hate grocery shopping and zip up & down the aisles as fast as the cart wheels will take me.]

I felt as if once those sliding glass doors had closed behind me that I had entered the Twilight Zone. First, the store installed one of those talking displays with a motion sensor to activate the robotic voice to welcome me and guide me to specials I don't want.

Then - in the soup aisle, I encountered the family from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - Grandma, Sonny Boy, and granddaughter - all clutching numerous tubs of potato salad - and standing still totally blocking the aisle arguing if they were or weren't out of jelly! In the soup aisle. Grandma kept walking into the shelving, and granddaughter kept muttering "Duh" trying to sound like a valley girl.

Escaping them I encountered the Addams family in the spaghetti aisle, Dad wearing a T-shirt proudly proclaiming "Property of Henderson Penitentiary", wife clocking in at over 200 pounds wearing cut-off jeans shorts, 2 sons running amok screaming, and a small daughter that kept wandering into other peoples' carts. Eventually one son flung himself face down on the floor, and dad dragged him by his heels, aisle to aisle with the entire family chortling, thinking this was really entertaining. Oh, did I mention the wife was feeling her hubby up, and he was responding "Oh do stop tickling me" To which she would coquettishly respond "I'm not doing it."

I won't even spend time on the woman parked in front of the eggs, staring at them -- waiting for voices?

Then .... the check-out counters!

The Addams family were totally occupying 1 line. The express line was being monopolized by a mother/daughter team with a LOT more than 10 items who couldn't pay for everything and was playing the "let's take this item off and see what our new total is, OK let's put that item back on and take this item off.... you get the picture" That line had the manager fully occupied. Then there was a line occupied by a shopper with bag after bag of green stuff - which the teen-aged check out person had no clue what it was or how to ring it up.

Just when I was on the verge of abandoning my cart and running for the car the assistant manager opened a new line. After bagging my own stuff and thanking him profusely for opening the line, I exited the store, followed by the Addams family. The mother/daughter team was still playing the pricing game at the express line.

I really earned my Guinness on this trip!

Thank you for listening! I'm done now!

07-10-2010, 03:47 PM	#10820
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,869 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	I must share my "grocery shopping trip to hell" I've just returned from. [Preface: I hate grocery shopping and zip up & down the aisles as fast as the cart wheels will take me.] I felt as if once those sliding glass doors had closed behind me that I had entered the Twilight Zone. First, the store installed one of those talking displays with a motion sensor to activate the robotic voice to welcome me and guide me to specials I don't want. Then - in the soup aisle, I encountered the family from "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" - Grandma, Sonny Boy, and granddaughter - all clutching numerous tubs of potato salad - and standing still totally blocking the aisle arguing if they were or weren't out of jelly! In the soup aisle. Grandma kept walking into the shelving, and granddaughter kept muttering "Duh" trying to sound like a valley girl. Escaping them I encountered the Addams family in the spaghetti aisle, Dad wearing a T-shirt proudly proclaiming "Property of Henderson Penitentiary", wife clocking in at over 200 pounds wearing cut-off jeans shorts, 2 sons running amok screaming, and a small daughter that kept wandering into other peoples' carts. Eventually one son flung himself face down on the floor, and dad dragged him by his heels, aisle to aisle with the entire family chortling, thinking this was really entertaining. Oh, did I mention the wife was feeling her hubby up, and he was responding "Oh do stop tickling me" To which she would coquettishly respond "I'm not doing it." I won't even spend time on the woman parked in front of the eggs, staring at them -- waiting for voices? Then .... the check-out counters! The Addams family were totally occupying 1 line. The express line was being monopolized by a mother/daughter team with a LOT more than 10 items who couldn't pay for everything and was playing the "let's take this item off and see what our new total is, OK let's put that item back on and take this item off.... you get the picture" That line had the manager fully occupied. Then there was a line occupied by a shopper with bag after bag of green stuff - which the teen-aged check out person had no clue what it was or how to ring it up. Just when I was on the verge of abandoning my cart and running for the car the assistant manager opened a new line. After bagging my own stuff and thanking him profusely for opening the line, I exited the store, followed by the Addams family. The mother/daughter team was still playing the pricing game at the express line. I really earned my Guinness on this trip! Thank you for listening! I'm done now!