Bangs, John Kendrick: Coffee and Repartee. V1. 15 Oct 2012
 

John Kendrick Bangs (May 27, 1862 – January 21, 1922) was an American author, editor and satirist.

Excerpt
The guests at Mrs. Smithers's high-class boarding-house for gentlemen had assembled as usual for breakfast, and in a few moments Mary, the dainty waitress, entered with the steaming coffee, the mush, and the rolls.
The School-master, who, by-the-way, was suspected by Mrs. Smithers of having intentions, and who for that reason occupied the chair nearest the lady's heart, folded up the morning paper, and placing it under him so that no one else could get it, observed, quite genially for him, "It was very wet yesterday."