# Guest Post: Why is it So Hard to Downshift?

## By Mr. Money Mustache

## Sat, 31 Mar 2012 12:00:06 +0000

Today I’d like to share a guest post from an interesting new reader to the blog. This guy, Jason, showed up here from some random Twitter surfing, and had this to say to me:

> I would like to write a guest post for your readers. As far as I know, there hasn’t been too much written about the emotional hangups that you have to get over when adjusting to a more frugal lifestyle. Everyone says “Just Do It! Just sell all your unnecessary things, cut your bills, and just live simply! Come on! It’s Easy!”

> And yet, as far as I know, no one has done an adequate job of tackling the emotional “HOW” that this sort of transformation takes. Bloggers just assume, “Hey… you’re here. You must already have it under control…”

> I understand it because I’ve been living a huge emotional down-shift for the past two years, and I’ve had the freedom and time to understand it. It’s been excruciatingly detailed for me. I’ve had to tackle every emotional hangup headlong I had that was keeping me poor and hopelessly unsuccessful. Now, I’m able to see the same problems in others that I once had.

> I want to write such a post for your readers so that maybe it can help them clear the ‘imaginary’ hurdles they may not know they have.

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO DOWNSHIFT?

Perhaps you need a new clutch… or perhaps you simply posses an unimpressive Money Mustache and would like that to change. In the latter case, it’s likely that your life is overly conceptualized. Now what does that mean? It means that growing up in the modern school system you were probably treated to a concentrated barrage of ideas that were intended to get you to idealize life slightly more than is healthy—all with the hope that you would one day grow up and cure cancer. Have you cured cancer yet? No? In that case, let’s examine the emotional obstacles you may face while aspiring to Badassity:

ENTERTAINMENT ADDICTION
The urge to be entertained every waking second will be the first hurdle you will need to clear. It’s like when your parents chided you for staying up past your bedtime because you “were afraid someone might fart and you wouldn’t get the chance to smell it.” Your brain has been conditioned to grow from exposure to near constant stimulation. If you’re not doing something, you feel like you’re wasting your life.

Entertainment addiction rears its ugly head whenever you watch something you’ve already seen, hang out with friends you don’t like, “go out” on a habitual basis or aimlessly browse the internet. The addiction often stems from the concern that you will be left behind.

But watching the newest episode of Grey’s Anatomy or the latest kitten video on Youtube doesn’t promote you to the next grade level in the adult world. It just makes you less of a real person and actually sort of dull. Once you begin cutting back on your entertainment over-indulgence, plan on the next menace to rear its ugly head; namely Boredom…

BOREDOM
Now that you’ve stopped drugging yourself with constant mindless stimulation, you have a whole bunch of free time. Great. That’s when Boredom sets in. Boredom used to have a different name back when people primarily worked with their hands. It was called “REST”.

With the decline of physical labor jobs, those who make a living with their mind muscle have begun to put in all kinds of ridiculous work hours that normal people with bodies wouldn’t even dream of. Think about it… You wouldn’t dig ditches for 80+ hours/ week, so why would you work on demanding legal cases for that long?

You can be emotionally drained just as easily as you can be physically drained. We’ve simply found a whole host of creative ways to ignore our emotional needs (*cough* *entertainment!* *cough*). If you regularly feel stressed, chances are you need emotional rest, and lots of it.

But what about when you don’t feel tired anymore, yet still have plenty of free time on your hands? No, it’s NOT time to go back to entertainment. It’s time to get to know your best friend in the whole world…

YOUR BEST FRIEND
Besides a well groomed ‘Stash, your best friend in the entire world is none other than: yourself. Who’s always been there for you? That’s right; you have.

And you haven’t been treating your best friend very kindly. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably even been downright neglecting her. Why is your best friend so easy to ignore? Because she’s shy and only feels compelled to talk when it’s quiet and there’s plenty of time.

ALL of your problems with developing a superb cash-hoard lie within your best friend’s quiet lips. And she’ll only tell you why your life is such a mess if you give her the time. SO NOW IT’S TIME TO TAKE ACTION!!!!!!

ACTION!!! ARGHHH!!!!
… by simply doing nothing. Now that you’ve removed the entertainment that’s been keeping you anaesthetized to life, you’ve rested, and finally decided it’s time to understand how your life got so messed up in the first place.

It’s time to just sit silently and listen — for a good long while. Angry things may begin to come up. You’ll begin to think about all the horrible emotions you’ve squashed back down into your neck-hole because they weren’t convenient or comfortable at the time. You’ll remember the time you made your mother cry. You’ll remember that little boy you couldn’t help. You’ll remember all the feelings of fear and hatred and self-doubt and guilt and loathing that have ever refused to leave your body.

You may feel nervous, doubtful, agitated or anxious. It might all rush out like a geyser, but that’s okay. You must let it all come out. Don’t suppress or hold onto any of it. Acknowledge and release every bit. Eventually it will all slow to a trickle and something amazing will happen: silence. Real Silence…

SILENCE
Suddenly you’ll be alone with yourself, and there will be no one else there. Nothing will exist but your thoughts. Lingering thoughts tend to be agitated thoughts, so hopefully even these will drift away. This nothingness can be rather scary initially because it’s your original state—the real you. Finally, it’s time to ask yourself some important questions.

Ask yourself:

“Why do I desire a Starbucks Grande mocha-latte-chino-frappe-ding-dong every morning before work?”
“I think it’s because they taste good.”

“Why do I desire a Starbucks Grande mocha-latte-chino-frappe-ding-dong every morning before work?”
“Maybe it’s because the caffeine makes me feel peppy in the morning?”

“Why do I desire a Starbucks Grande mocha-latte-chino-frappe-ding-dong every morning before work?”
“It’s because my parents were abusive when I was young, and before I had a chance to fully express myself as an individual I had children of my own. So I feel the need to treat myself from time to time because it hurts that I never had a chance get to know myself. It’s also the reason why I waste cash buying my children lavish gifts they neither need nor want, at every opportunity.”

Ask yourself:

“What do I really need to be happy?”
“I need a huge house in the hills and a car and a boat and $100k salary.”

“What do I really need to be happy?”
“I need lots of friends and family; to be utterly surrounded by people who love and adore me.”

“What do I really need to be happy?”
“I’m happy right now.”

You get the idea. Ask any and all questions that stand between you and financial independence.

GLORIOUS MONEY MUSTACHE SEEDS
Something happens when you are able to recognize and give a voice to the reasons for your afflictions: they go away. These were the weeds that plagued your barren savings garden.

Once you understand and acknowledge the reasons why you do the things you do, bad habits tend to get released on their own. You must be careful, though. This powerful technique of Mustache-Foo comes with risks of its own. It should not be used as another method of escapism! Don’t just sit around doing nothing because now its time for… wait for it… ACTION!!!!!

ACTION!!! GRRRR!!!!
Once you’ve successfully cleared away the dark things that had made nests in your soul, you’ll want to begin the process of transferring that silence you found inside of yourself out into everyday life. Keep in mind: that was the real you. Bring this silence into your daily chores and you will begin the process of making yourself whole once more. To do so turns reality into its own pleasure.

Do only one thing at a time. Wake up early one morning. Make tea for yourself and slowly eat a bowl of oatmeal — without sugar. Enjoy everything you possibly can at face value, from within your own personal silence. It’s all you’ll ever really have, but it’s enough.

MMM Note: You can follow more of Jason’s philosophical thoughts on Twitter if you want to follow him at https://twitter.com/#!/Jsn_Br