4/6/2008

Hillary vs. Barrack

A

Decide Your Own Stinking Fate

Story

by

You

or was it me?

The story begins

You are Senator Hillary Clinton. It’s April, 2008 and you’re in a race with Senator Barrack Obama for the Democratic nomination for U.S. president. You are behind in the delegate count, all of the polls, and in campaign fund raising. You decide to:

Continue in the race

or

Quit the race

Continue in the race

You decide to continue in the race but how? Your bright, compassionate, hard-working, and cunning ex-president and husband Bill says that you should take the offensive. You decide to:

Say publicly that Obama is weak

or

Say publicly that you are strong

Quit the race

You decide to quit and let Barrack Obama take the nomination without further ado. It would let the clear leader save his energy and precious campaign funds for the fall election campaign against Republican Senator John McCain, allow the party heal, and let you return to working on the issues you most care about in the Senate. But your bright, compassionate, hard-working, and cunning ex-president and husband Bill says you can’t or you’ll forever be a Loser. Besides, as a Loser, you won’t be able to pay for your lavish property with your meager book royalties. You must:

Return and continue in the race

Say publicly that Obama is weak

You decide to say at a press conference that Barrack Obama has no experience. You say that as the junior senator from Illinois, he has never had to make the important decisions that a president has to make. At the press conference, you are asked to give an example of your experiences that would qualify you for president. You begin talking about your eight years in the White House and having to decide how to devise and push a universal health care proposal through Congress. You state that even though it failed to get any support, that it was crucial in building her own personal character. When asked if you were you were referring to the plan that would have cost Americans something like 480 trillion dollars or so per day, you nod. You slowly realize that the press conference gallery has suddenly grown quiet. You decide to:

Quit the race

or

Say publicly that you are strong

Say publicly that you are strong

You decide to say at a press conference that as first lady you were once sent to Bosnia and that there was sniper fire when you and Chelsea got off the plane and that you had to run for cover. A person that was there at the time recalled it differently. The next day there was footage of the event showing you and Chelsea smiling and shaking hands as you leisurely stepped off the plane and greeted local officials. You decide to:

Quit the race

or

Campaign hard in Pennsylvania

Campaign hard in Pennsylvania

You raise the funds that you can and campaign relentlessly in Pennsylvania for the upcoming April 22 primary there. In the meantime, you worry about the Michigan and Florida delegates. You want them seated even though the Democratic National Committee told those states prior to those states’ primaries that they had violated DNC rules and their delegates would not be permitted to be seated at the convention in August. But you won the majority of the delegates in those primaries and need them to catch Obama. You throw a hissy fit. You get your bright, compassionate, hard-working, and cunning ex-president and husband Bill to twist the arms of lots of people on your behalf. You decide to:

Look magnanimous by asking for “do-over” primaries in Florida and in Michigan

or

Stick to your guns and demand that the DNC count the delegates you won even though Obama had not campaigned in either state and wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan

Look magnanimous by asking for “do-over” primaries in Florida and in Michigan

You gently ask for do-over primaries in these two states. Your bright, compassionate, hard-working, and cunning ex-president and husband Bill quietly reminds the governors of both states about ……[rumors deleted]…….and they quickly proclaim that there sure as heck won’t be any stinking do-over primaries in their states and they want the delegates that were elected by their citizens who participated in their legal primaries to be seated at the national convention or there will be hell to pay. You blush as you see your husband in a new light. You decide to:

Stick to your guns and demand that the DNC count the delegates you won even though Obama had not campaigned in either state and wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan

or

Stick to your guns and demand that the DNC count the delegates you won even though Obama had not campaigned in either state and wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan

Stick to your guns and demand that the DNC count the delegates you won even though Obama had not campaigned in either state and wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan

You force a decision to be made in district courts in Michigan and Florida in hopes that your unrecognized delegates in those states will forced to be seated at the national convention. You decide to:

Have coffee with Chelsea

or

Take a nap

Have coffee with Chelsea

What are you doing??? You decide to:

Go to district court over the Florida and Michigan delegates

Take a nap

What are you doing??? You decide to:

Go to district court over the Florida and Michigan delegates

Go to district court over the Florida and Michigan delegates

Your fight over the delegates from Florida and Michigan wins in one state and loses in the other (I’ve forgotten which; it actually hasn’t happened - yet). You’re now winning and losing. Both of these U.S. district court decisions are then appealed (to apellate courts - duh!). Both are overturned. You’re now losing and winning. What fun! It looks like these are headed for the U.S. Supreme Court. You decide to:

Breathe deep the gathering gloom

or

Wait for the Supreme Court enounter

Breathe deep the gathering gloom

Hillary, what have you been smok….., uh, never mind. You decide to:

Wait for the Supreme Court enounter

Wait for the Supreme Court enounter

The fateful day comes. Arguments by both sides are presented. You just want your bloody delegates. Or else to get it over so you can go have coffee with Chelsea and forget all this nonsense. The end finally comes as Justice John Scalia, Lord Protectorate Of All That Counts In His Mind, writes the decision. He is seen smiling while holding up two fingers, seemingly as a 1960’s gesture of peace. We later learn that this is meant to mean: two down, and oh so many more to go.

THE END

This file was created with

BookDesigner program

bookdesigner@the-ebook.org

4/6/2008

Date:

4/6/2008