3/2/2008

The Passion of the Crust

Ninety-Nine Tasteful Displays of Love and Patisserie

Starring Our Delicious and Ever-Maleable Heroine

VERA

by

The Ravenous Members of the MobileRead Forum

Who Hunger for All Things Lusty and Crusty

First Published 2008

All Rights (and Hopes) Abandoned

Contents

I - Planet Head

II - The Passionate Story of Harv and Vera

III - Squid Meat

IV - Love in a Deer Stand

V - Intimations

VI -

VII -

I - Planet Head

We met for brunch late the next morning. It was a strange meeting. And how appropriate to discover a real sidewalk cafe - one with tables that gently rocked on the uneven cobbles beneath us. Embracing couples strolled by us in delusional trances. An odd hush seemed to muffle even the birds that sang from the cherry trees nearby. But none of it mattered - for I was focused on her. Nothing could have torn her from my thoughts. We shared a pear tart that glistened in the sun and gently steamed from the glass plate. But the smell of the exposed fruit reminded me only of her - her warm flesh, its taste and gentle texture that I had probed for hours the night before. From the sight of the graceful curve of her neck touched by her dark brown hair, I could only invision the contours of her luscious body as she motioned passionately. Her simple movements as she ate. All of these sent me reeling. Mental acuity is a requirement for life and mine was nearing its end. My mind was bursting as I approached sensory overload. My head, engorged with emotions, seemingly expanded to the size of a planet. My cranial diodes nearly fused. Vera, if only I could escape you, I would. But my very being - unnatural as it is - is intimately tied to you. Vera. What will I do?

II - The Passionate Story of Harv and Vera

Ol' Harv first noticed Vera at the pie eatin’ contest at last year’s county fair. Folks had always told him he had a good eye for livestock, and he nearly choked on his hog call when he caught the glare off her sweaty bosom as she came up outta’ that cherry pie for breath. He’d won the hog call championship three years a-running, but the way she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, flinging cherry filling and pie crust away into the shimmering summer air, plum took his breath away. Harv’s mind cast back to that day as he and Vera made love on the bathroom floor. The sound of her love-slick backside as it squeegied across the linoleum, put all his hog-calling efforts to shame, he thought, panting.

III - Squid Meat

[Vera (a redhead) is at sea. There's squid, coffee smoothies, and vomit. A lovely story. I can't wait to read it!]

IV - Love in a Deer Stand

[The continuing story of our lovers Harv and Vera.]

V - Intimations

“The romance is just gone”, wept Peg to her cousin Vera. “We never even do it anymore. The closest I get to romance is checking him for tics. He goes out ever’ night, and I just know he’s down at The Wet Spot (‘does your Mama still dance there, V?’ ‘No, not since her hip replacement’) and I just don’t know what to do. I mean, he’s no champion hog-caller”, Peg pauses to dab her eyes and blow her nose, as Vera blushes a particularly porcine shade of pink, “but he’s all the man I got. How do you and Harv keep the fires stoked-up? Why you’re always at each other. They don’t make these double-wides like they used to - we can hear you two, especially when the dogs get to howling”.

“You just got to keep it spicy. Mix things up, Peg. A man likes variety”, says Vera. “Why don’t you surprise him, play dress-up? You could play ‘Hooter’s Girl and the Traveling Salesman’ or ‘Babysitter and the Pizza Pie Delivery Boy’”.

“Which delivery boy? You mean my nephew Joey? Oh… I don’t think Hank’d go for that", said Vera, with a faraway look in her bleary, close-set eyes.

VI -

VII -

This file was created with

BookDesigner program

bookdesigner@the-ebook.org

3/2/2008

Date:

3/2/2008