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- Co-operative Bank rating downgraded to 'junk' but bank says it does not need taxpayer bail-out

- Co-operative Bank's new boss faces tough task of boosting cash cushion

- World's ugliest creatures: The kings of the mingers and why we must save them

- Jim Davidson investigated over claims of indecent assault in Falkland Islands

- Childcare reforms: David Cameron insists he'd be happy for his kids to be looked after under new guidelines

- Hero passer-by Preston Likely scrambles across pub roof to save toddler

- Bogus travel agent Jessica Scutt jailed for selling holidays online that did not exist

- Last British Dambuster relives daring World War II raid 70 years on

- Football fans at cup final told to be quiet as their cheering was disturbing corporate lunch

- Reggie Kray paintings exposed as fakes: Experts reveal art is too GOOD

- Ark Royal set for final farewell this month before going to scrapyard

- Debt-ridden hospital planning to axe 750 jobs spending £25k a MONTH on American IT expert

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Co-operative Bank rating downgraded to 'junk' but bank says it does not need taxpayer bail-out

Moody’s warned the bank needed to strengthen its capital cushion - its ‘rainy day fund’ - to sustain potential losses

- By Graham Hiscott

PA

The Co-op Bank rushed to reassure customers yesterday after warnings that it may need a bailout.

A statement insisted: “We haven’t sought nor do we need Government support.”

It came as the boss quit, hours after a ratings agency downgraded its debt to “junk”.

Moody’s said that the bank needed to strengthen its “rainy day” capital to cope with possible losses.

The big worry is commercial loans inherited from Britainnia Building Society in its takeover in 2009.

Moody’s said there was “moderate potential for systemic support likely to be forthcoming from the UK authorities” – a taxpayer bail-out.

The bank lost £662million last year and experts believe it needs to raise at least £500million.

The Co-op, which has 342 branches and 6.5 million customers, has sold itself as an ethical alternative to the big banks.

Many charities and some big unions hold accounts with it.

The bank is part of the wider Co-operative group which takes in supermarkets, pharmacists and the largest chain of funeral directors.

But an audacious attempt to more than double in size, by buying 631 Lloyds branches, recently collapsed.

Moody’s downgrade of the bank’s debt to “not prime” was announced late on Thursday.

Resigned: Barry Tootell

Early yesterday, the Co-operative confirmed chief executive Barry Tootell had resigned.

The bank said it was disappointed by the downgrade, but stressed it had a “clear plan” to bolster its strength.

It said: “We have a strong funding profile and high levels of liquidity, which are significantly above the regulatory requirements.

“We do acknowledge, like the rest of our banking sector peers, the need to strengthen our capital position in light of the broader economic downturn and the pending introduction of enhanced regulatory requirements, and we have a clear plan to drive this forward.”

Group chief Peter Marks, who is retiring, blamed the state of the economy for squeezing profits.

The Treasury and Prudential Regulation Authority – the banking regulator – said they did not comment on individual banks.

But the PRA is expected this month to tell a number of banks to raise more capital.

It has been in discussions with lenders after the Bank of England’s Financial Policy Committee discovered a combined £25billion shortfall in bank reserves.

Regulators are ordering banks to increase their capital cushions to avoid another financial crisis, but there are fears the new rules will lead to less lending.

The Co-op, which holds its annual meeting in Manchester on May 18, said the big loss related mainly to its acquisition of Britannia and a £150million provision for payment-protection mis-selling.

However, its core banking business still saw profits fall to £120million, from £173million a year ago.

Asked whether the Government would help the bank if required, PM David Cameron’s spokesman said: “I’m not going to speculate on something that hasn’t happened yet.

“We are committed to having a strong and stable financial sector.”

Chancellor George Osborne pointed out that the Co-op had announced plans to strengthen its capital and said the UK had a strong independent regulatory system.

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Co-operative Bank's new boss faces tough task of boosting cash cushion

What is happening at the Co-operative is far removed from what led to Northern Rock’s dramatic collapse

PA

It's likely to be a worrying time for the Co-operative Bank’s customers.

After all, the lender has set itself up as an ethical rival to big banks with their battered reputations.

But what is happening at the Co-operative is far removed from what led to Northern Rock’s dramatic collapse.

The Rock was brought it its knees by a run on the bank, caused by fears over its reckless lending. #

It relied on the money markets for funding, which dried up, and was heavily exposed to mortgage debt.

The Co-operative is a very different beast, despite its current issues.

At the heart of these is a need to find extra funds to strengthen its cash cushion.

As a mutual, it can’t go to investors to do that, so it’s having to raise the money in other ways.

They include selling its life insurance assets for £200million and putting its general insurance up for sale.

At the same time, it’s reducing its balance sheet, which currently stands at £51billion.

The Co-operative Bank is part of a much bigger group and boosting its finances could mean holding on to more of the money it usually passes on up the chain.

Over-stretched building societies which haven’t got the same fall-back may be of more concern, say insiders.

New Co-operative Group boss, Euan Sutherland has much work to do.

After running the B&Q DIY chain, he has a new list of things to fix.

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World's ugliest creatures: The kings of the mingers and why we must save them

Some of these creatures are in danger of dying out, yet because they are not cute and cuddly like the panda they get ignored

- By Simon Watts

Campaign: Simon Watt

This lot clearly didn’t turn up the day Mother Nature was dishing out beauty…

Some of these creatures are in danger of dying out, yet because they are not cute and cuddly like the panda they get ignored.

I’ve grown frustrated at how myopic we are on endangered species.

So I set up the Ugly Animal Preservation Society, a comedy night with a conservation twist.

Comics and scientists meet to champion their favourite ugly and endangered species.

There are so many hideous creatures to choose from, so here’s a selection of my favourites.

UAPS gigs are coming to Cheltenham, Bristol, Newcastle, York and London.

Find information on: uglyanimalsoc.com. Twitter: SimonDWatt.

UGLY PET OF THE YEAR COMPETITION

DO you have an ugly animal of your own at home? We’re looking for the ugliest pet in Britain.

Luckily you love them, because no-one else will. The most facially challenged pet will win its owner £250.

And TV presenter Simon Watt will pick the winner.

Send your pictures by email to: features@mirror.co.uk

Or post to: Ugly Pets, Features Department, Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London, E14 5AP

Include your name, address, daytime telephone number and a bit of information about your much loved pet.

Entries close at midnight on Friday May 17.

Standard Trinity Mirror rules apply. They are available at mirror.co.uk/rules

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Jim Davidson investigated over claims of indecent assault in Falkland Islands

A spokesman for the Falklands Police said: “We have been made aware of allegations made against Jim Davidson"

- By Damien Fletcher

Claims: Comedian Jim Davidson outside his home last night

Adam Gerrard/Daily Mirror

Jim Davidson is being investigated over claims he indecently assaulted a woman during a troops’ tour in the Falkland Islands.

The 59-year-old comic has strenuously denied the claims.

A spokesman for the Falklands Police said: “We have been made aware of allegations made against Jim Davidson.”

And he revealed they have asked the Operation Yewtree inquiry to probe the allegations.

Davidson said: “I have not been asked at any stage about my trips to the Falkland Islands, where I have been on seven separate occasions proudly entertaining Her Majesty’s Armed Forces.”

The alleged victim is believed to have contacted Yewtree cops.

Davidson said: “I have not been charged. But the fact I have got all this hanging over me is not very nice.”

The Falklands, a British overseas territory, has the power to “compel” someone from the UK to appear in court

At his home in Stockbridge, Hampshire, last night, he added: “I can tell the truth better than those telling lies. The allegations go back to 1978.

"I think people would rather police were out on the streets dealing with what’s happening now.”

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Childcare reforms: David Cameron insists he'd be happy for his kids to be looked after under new guidelines

The Prime Minister backed Education Minister Liz Truss’s plan to let nursery staff look after up to six kids instead of four

- By Tom McTague

Trussed up: Elizabeth Truss was backed by the PM

PA

The Coalition row over childcare reforms escalated yesterday after David Cameron insisted he would be happy for his own children to be looked after under the proposed new guidelines.

The Prime Minister backed Education Minister Liz Truss’s plan to let nursery staff look after up to six kids instead of four - in a bid to cut childcare costs.

She also wants to allow nursery workers to take care of four babies instead of three.

She said similar ratios were in place in France, Denmark and Ireland.

But Nick Clegg has signalled he will block the changes, saying they could put child safety at risk and may not cut costs for parents.

Downing Street has insisted it will press ahead with the reforms that will lift the limit on the number of children nursery staff can care for.

Labour accused the Government of creating “chaos and confusion”.

The party will seek to exploit the Coalition division by pushing the issue to a vote when the Children and Families Bill is debated in the Commons in the next couple of weeks.

Yesterday Mr Cameron raised the stakes of the row by claiming he had no problem with his own kids being looked after alongside more kids than currently allowed.

The PM’s spokesman said: “If the question is, would the Prime Minister be happy for his own children to go into child care with the higher ratio, then the answer is yes he would.”]

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Hero passer-by Preston Likely scrambles across pub roof to save toddler

The two-year-old was teetering on the building’s rooftop after climbing a ladder while playing in the bank holiday sunshine

- By Vicky Smith

Newsteam

This is the dramatic moment a hero passer-by scaled a pub roof to reach a stricken toddler.

The two-year-old was teetering on the building’s rooftop after climbing a ladder while playing in the bank holiday sunshine.

The youngster’s terrified mum had urged pub staff to call the fire brigade after realising her son was in grave danger.

As horrified bar customers looked on in shock, brave Preston Likely risked his own safety to reach the tot.

The 42-year-old saw the child was stuck and quickly scrambled up a drain pipe and shimmied across the pitched roof to reach him.

Clutching the boy in his arms, Preston then held onto him until help arrived.

On the roof: Preston Likely with the tot

Newsteam

Artist and author Preston said: “I was about to sit down when I noticed a large crowd of people staring at something.

"I thought it was some sort of gathering. Then I looked up and saw the child on the roof tottering about.

"He was sat down at first and his mum was shouting at him to stay sat down but then he stood up.

“I threw my bag down and just climbed up. It was instinctive, I didn’t think, I just scrambled up.

“I climbed up the drain pipe then I pulled myself onto the roof using the guttering, which was cracking while I was holding onto it.

"Then when I was on the roof the tiles were sliding about.”

Preston was on the roof for 15 minutes clutching the lad until firefighters arrived.

The tot’s mum also tried to climb the roof to save her son, but she got stuck.

Courageous: Preston Likely

SWNS

Fire crews used a hydraulic platform to lift them back to the ground.

Preston, who has a four-year-old daughter, said: “Once she had him back the mum kept thanking me, she said ‘you’re an angel’."

The drama unfolded in the bar area of The Tree Hotel in the Iffley area of Oxford on Saturday.

Manager Namit Julka, manager at the hotel, said the ladder was being used for maintenance of the grounds.

He said: “I was behind the bar when the mother came in saying that the child had gone up.

"I went outside to help, came back in and phoned the fire brigade straight away. We are very glad it ended safely.”

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Bogus travel agent Jessica Scutt jailed for selling holidays online that did not exist

At least 13 families travelled hundreds of miles to resorts such as Tenby and Pendine – but found no caravan

- By Richard Smith

Bogus travel agent Jessica Scutt

Wales News

A bogus travel agent was jailed yesterday for tricking hard-up families into buying holidays that did not exist.

Jessica Scutt, 27, advertised seaside caravan holidays online, with trips to theme parks included in the price.

At least 13 families travelled hundreds of miles to resorts such as Tenby and Pendine in West Wales – but found no caravan.

Five children looking forward to their first beach holiday were taken home sobbing by a couple who were among Scutt’s victims.

Caerphilly magistrates court heard she set up the phoney business to pay for a deposit on a house.

Scutt, of Ynysddu, Caerphilly, was jailed for eight months after admitting four charges of fraud and was ordered to pay her victims £2,575 compensation.

Magistrates chairman Ronald Coldbourne told her: “While you’re in prison I hope you have time to think about all the pain you have caused.”

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Last British Dambuster relives daring World War II raid 70 years on

The most audacious bombing mission of the Second World War seriously hampered Hitler’s war efforts

- By Rachael Bletchly

Proud hero: Dambuster Johnny Johnson

Roger Allen

Johnny Johnson never doubted he would make it back.

As the 21-year-old flight sergeant walked to his Lancaster bomber on a moonlit night in 1943 he knew, in his gut, that his seven-strong crew would return home safely from “Operation Chastise”.

Some of his friends from 617 Squadron felt differently.

Vernon Byers didn’t think he’d come through while “Hoppy” Hopgood wrote his family a farewell letter.

Six hours later, Johnny, Joe, Don, Ron, Len, Bill and Dave, were at base, their mission accomplished, exhausted and tucking in to bacon and eggs.

But it wasn’t until they saw the morning’s headlines – like the Daily Mirror’s “Huns Get a Flood Blitz” – that they realised the significance of their night’s work... or the huge price that had been paid.

They had just carried out the most audacious bombing mission of the Second World War, destroying two German dams, damaging a third and seriously hampering Hitler’s war efforts thanks to revolutionary “bouncing bombs” and they would be known for ever after as The Dambusters.

Almost half of the 113 airmen who took off on that historic mission never made it back.

Bouncing bomb: The revolutionary new weapon

Mirrorpix

Hopgood and Byers were among the 53 British, American, Canadian, Australian and New Zealand airmen killed.

Three others were shot down and taken prisoner while 1,294 people on the ground in Germany were killed – many prisoners in forced labour camps.

THIS Thursday, the 70th anniversary of the raids, they will all be in the thoughts of Squadron Leader George “Johnny” Johnson, DFM – the last surviving British Dambuster.

Looking at a treasured photo of his old crew, Sqd Ldr Johnson explains: “It’s hard to believe that it all happened so long ago.

"The memories are still vivid and it’s something that will always be with me.

“I’ve never talked about that night without being asked. I wasn’t sure people would be interested.

"But it seems they are, especially as we’ve reached the 70th anniversary.

“I’m asked how it feels to be the last British Dambuster. Well, excuse the language, I feel bloody lucky.

“I was in the right crew, in the right place at the right time and I feel honoured and privileged to have been able to take part.

“But surviving when so many didn’t come back was pretty shattering. There was an awful lot of loss – on both sides.”

Strike: A bouncing bomb during testing in early 1943

PA

Sqd Ldr Johnson – he insists I call him Johnny when we meet at his Bristol home – is now 91 and partially deaf, having flown more than 50 wartime ops in a noisy Lancaster aircraft.

He’s a widower – his wife Gwyn, a WRAF radio operator, died in 2005 after 62 years of marriage – and lives in a neat flat filled with RAF mementoes and photos of his three children, eight grandchildren and 16 great-grandchildren.

He’s as sharp as a pin and as he recalled his part in the legendary raid – flying without lights at just 30ft, dropping his bomb with pinpoint accuracy and getting hit by enemy fire – it’s clear how lucky he was.

On May 16, 1943, 19 aircraft took off from RAF Scampton, Lincs, to fly to Germany’s industrial heartland and destroy the heavily-defended Mohne, Eder and Sorpe dams on the River Ruhr.

The Lancasters were carrying 9,000lb of “glorified dustbins” – bouncing bombs designed by Sir Barnes Wallis, the “wizard boffin” immortalised in the gung-ho 1955 film The Dambusters.

The other key players are in it too, bullish Wing Commander Guy Gibson (awarded the VC for his courage in leading the raid) and Sir Arthur “Bomber” Harris, wartime head of Bomber Command who thought the mission would fail.

Gibson had just 11 weeks to form a special squadron for the mission.

And while the crews practised low-level flying and precision bombing on lakes in Derbyshire and Rutland, they had no idea about their target until six hours before take-off.

Last of the legends: Johnny Johnson on the left

Roger Allen

Johnny says: “We thought we might be going for the German battleships but at 3pm the next day we were called to the briefing room.

"Gibson and Barnes Wallis were there with models of the dams.”

Johnny was the bomb aimer in American pilot Joe McCarthy’s crew. They were leading Formation No 2, five aircraft targeting the Sorpe dam.

He explains: “Joe was a big man with a big personality. He created such confidence. I knew he would bring us back.

“Others, like Hoppy, felt they weren’t going to make it.

"Walking to his aircraft he told Dave Shannon: ‘I’ve written a letter and it’s in my room. If I don’t come back will you destroy it?’

"He realised his family wouldn’t get it until after they heard how he’d gone... and he didn’t want them to know he’d been frightened.”

Johnny went on: “On the way out we realised there were German goods trains below us.

"Ron Batson, the front gunner, said ‘Can I have a go Joe?’

"Somewhat reluctantly Joe said ‘Yeah all right then’ so Ron opened up the little .303 machine gun at the train.

"Unfortunately it turned out to be an armament goods train and it replied with rather more than .303 fire!

“We knew we’d been hit, we heard it, we felt it, but it didn’t impede the aircraft so we just pressed on.

"We found the Sorpe but the way it was situated prevented a head-on attack.

Genius: Dr Barnes Wallis

Mirrorpix

“We had to fly down the hills one side, along the dam, then get the nose up quickly before hitting the hills the other side.

"We had no lights and it was a difficult attack.

“On my call we made nine dummy runs – it didn’t make me very popular with the crew.

"But on the tenth run we got the line-up right and dropped from 30ft.

“I pride myself for the drop; pretty near the centre, a little bit over-shoot maybe but not too bad.

"When I said ‘bomb gone’ a voice from the rear turret said ‘thank Christ!’ I couldn’t see the explosion but rear gunner Dave Rodger could.

“He said the water shot up about 1,000ft.

“We had done the job to the best of our ability and tootled off towards home.”

Hit: The Eder Dam after the Dambuster raid of 1943

PA

In recent years there has been much debate about the true impact of the raids.

Unearthed letters from “Bomber” Harris reveal he thought the mission “achieved nothing compared with the effort and the loss”.

But Johnny, who retired from the RAF in 1962 to be a junior school teacher, rubbishes the arguments of “retrospective historians”.

“These people really get up my nose,” he says. “They weren’t there and they were not aware of the circumstances – so they should keep their bloody mouths shut!

“It proved to Hitler and the hierarchy that what they thought was impregnable could be got to by the RAF and destroyed.

"It delayed German armament production for quite some time and Hitler had to move skilled workmen from elsewhere to repair the dams.

"But the most important thing was the effect it had on the morale of the people in this country.”

As Johnny’s crew flew home they saw the wrecked Mohne dam.

Back home: Johnny Johnson and wife Gwyn on their wedding day

Roger Allen

“It was like an inland sea – water everywhere,” he said. “We heard on the radio the Eder had been breached.

“Coming in to land at Scampton the engineer saw we had a burst tyre. It was bumpty-bump but we got down.

"That’s when we discovered the shot from the goods train had burst the tyre, gone through the undercarriage, on through the wing and ended up in the roof just above the navigator’s head.

“Another foot either way and it would have got the petrol tanks and that would have been bye-bye. Lady Luck was with us that night!”

On Thursday Johnny will return to RAF Scampton for a day of anniversary events culminating in a sunset ceremony to be shown live on BBC2.

There will be mixed emotions – great pride in what they achieved and great sadness for those who perished.

He says: “When Barnes Wallis heard about the losses he broke down and cried. He said ‘I’ve killed all those young men’.”

But, Johnny says, Guy Gibson told him: “No Barnes, you didn’t. Without you that raid could never have taken place.”

Video interviews

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Football fans at cup final told to be quiet as their cheering was disturbing corporate lunch

Excited fans were told to be quiet at a schools’ cup final – as they were disturbing a corporate lunch

- By Louie Smith

Hush: The final at Bescot Stadium

SWNS

This must be the first footie match when “you’re not singing any more” was an order over the tannoy...

Excited fans were told to be quiet at a schools’ cup final – as they were disturbing a corporate lunch.

Most of the 1,000 supporters had travelled more than 100 miles to cheer on the under-13 teams.

But 15 minutes into the game the tannoy announcer said: “Can the crowd please refrain from making too much noise.”

Stunned fans – some of whom were blowing horns – were told the guests dining in a function room at the stadium had moaned about the racket.

Sabrina Pengelley, 44, who had a 300-mile round trip to cheer on son Aaron, said: “No noise at a football game?

"Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?”

The mum, of Sudbury, Suffolk, added: “They killed the fun of the occasion by telling us to be quiet.”

The subdued crowd at Walsall FC’s Bescot Stadium in the West Midlands watched the rest of the English Schools’ Football Association cup final in near-silence as Clitheroe Royal Grammar School in Lancashire beat Great Cornard Middle School from Suffolk.

Walsall FC secretary Daniel Mole said: “Instruments like these horns are not permitted at games, regardless of whether it’s a first team fixture or a schools match.

“We do our best to ensure that everyone has a successful event here, whether it is football-related or a private party or conference.”

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Reggie Kray paintings exposed as fakes: Experts reveal art is too GOOD

The watercolours, including a nude, bear the killer’s signature and prison number and were set to fetch at least £500 each

- By Tom Parry

Fake: Girl Bathing

PA

Three paintings said to be by Reggie Kray have been exposed as forgeries.

Experts revealed they were too good to be the work of the sadistic gangland boss.

The watercolours, including a nude, bear the killer’s signature and prison number and were set to fetch at least £500 each.

But auctioneers halted the sale when the high quality of the works emerged.

Reggie was credited with painting two Tree Studies while in Wayland Prison, Norfolk and at Parkhurst Jail, Isle of Wight.

The third piece, Girl Bathing, was said to be an homage to The Tub by Edgar Degas.

The mobster took up art after he was jailed for life in 1969 for stabbing to death gang member Jack “The Hat” McVitie.

Gangland style: Kray twins Ronnie (left) and Reggie

PA

Fellow prisoner Peter Gillett, 54, claimed he alerted auctioneers to the fakes.

He said: “Reg was far too idle to paint much. There are a lot of forgeries out there.

“He was an egomaniac. If he had been that good he would have let everybody know.”

Charles Ashton, of Cambridge auctioneers Cheffins, said: “The works were found to be fake and withdrawn.

"Our vendor bought them in good faith.” Earlier they had described the paintings as “not bad at all”.

Reggie and twin Ronnie were kingpins of feared East London gang The Firm in the 1960s.

He died of cancer in 2000 aged 66. Ronnie died five years earlier at 61.

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Ark Royal set for final farewell this month before going to scrapyard

Defence officials said a date had yet to be set but it is thought the 22,000-ton ship could leave Portsmouth on May 20

- By Chris Hughes

Getty

Hundreds of HMS Ark Royal’s former crew will wear black armbands as she makes her final voyage this month.

They will watch from the shore as the Royal Navy’s once mighty flagship is towed away on her two-month trip to a Turkish scrapyard.

Ministry of Defence officials said a date had yet to be set but it is thought the 22,000-ton ship could leave Portsmouth on May 20.

The decision to axe the aircraft carrier in 2010 and sell the Navy’s 72 Harrier jump jets to the US provoked a national storm.

Ex-Navy officer Mike Critchley, of Warship World magazine, fumed: “The early demise of Ark Royal and her aircraft is a national disgrace, leaving the fleet without protective air cover wherever it may be needed at any serious distance away from the UK.”

It was hoped Ark Royal could be preserved as a museum ship, but the MoD said her condition was too poor.

Instead the Government sold her to Turkish ship recycling firm Leyal for £2.9million.

Ark Royal was launched on the Tyne in 1981 and saw service in Iraq and the Balkans.

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Rotherham Hospital Trust Debt-ridden hospital planning to axe 750 jobs spending £25k a MONTH on American IT expert

Larry Blevins has been drafted in by Rotherham Hospital Trust to fix its £40million patient record system.

- By Steve White

A debt-ridden hospital planning to axe 750 jobs is spending £25,000 a month on an American troubleshooter.

Larry Blevins, a former IT adviser to the White House, has been drafted in by Rotherham Hospital Trust to fix its £40million patient record system.

Taxpayers are also picking up the bill for £4,000 airline tickets as well as his hotel and restaurant bills.

The hospital trust in South Yorkshire has admitted that three other consultants are costing it £92,400 a month.

It is trying to save £50million from its budget and plans to close wards and axe the jobs.

Several senior officials, including the chief executive, have already left.

A Unison source said: “There is still no word on when the trust will appoint a new chief executive.”

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Kenny Dalglish on Manchester United: Why Alex Ferguson will be on hand, but David Moyes will be Moyes

Should he need him, the incoming Scot will have a fantastic ally in his predecessor, writes Kenny Dalglish

Friend in need: Ferguson will always have time for Moyes

Getty

David Moyes deserves his chance at managing Manchester United. There is no question about that.

The right choice? The wrong choice? Well, only time will tell, but I think he has done brilliantly at Everton and Sir Alex Ferguson and the people at Old Trafford obviously think the same.

Moyes also has one big advantage. He has still got Sir Alex there to turn to when he needs advice. And he will need advice.

I don’t go along with the idea that Sir Alex still having a role at the club will cause a problem.

I know a lot of people still remember the agonies United went through over the succession to Sir Matt Busby.

But I think Sir Alex will be a fantastic ally for Moyes. Don’t forget, Moyes has done a fine job at Everton, but he has very little experience at Champions League level.

Sir Alex won’t interfere. He will stay quiet and he’ll stay up the road unless Moyes seeks him out.

They will have as many conversations as Moyes wants to have. I imagine they already have a good working understanding.

It sounds obvious, but Sir Alex will be very keen that Moyes is a success. Moyes was his recommendation and Sir Alex does not like to get anything wrong.

Leaving on a high: Fergie exits after winning a 20th league title for United

Tom Purslow

I’ve known Sir Alex for a long time and I’m glad he’s going out on a high. I hope he has a lot of time and much good health to enjoy his retirement.

I have seen it written in the last couple of days that there is a long-running feud between me and Sir Alex. Really? If there is, I don’t know about it. I certainly haven’t got any problem with him.

There was a rivalry between us when I was the manager of Liverpool and he was in charge at Manchester United.

And, yes, it was an intense rivalry, but would the supporters of either club want it any other way? I don’t think so.

As a fan, you want your manager to stand up for your club.

You want a boss who will cause a diversion if one of his players is in trouble and take the heat himself. You want a manager who is going to stand in the club’s corner as forcefully and as stubbornly as he did at United.

It will create conflict with other clubs and other managers sometimes, but I understood why he was doing it.

I wouldn’t have expected anything else. If he had to stand up for his club, he did. That’s the way it should be.

What people didn’t see was how magnanimous Fergie was when he was on the losing side.

Respect: Fergie and Kenny have always shared a post-match drink

Getty

He must have been hurting like hell inside, but he would always come and say hello and have a drink after the game. I never once missed having a post-match drink with him at Old Trafford. He never once missed having one with me at Anfield.

People already know how supportive he was to Liverpool Football Club after the Hillsborough Disaster, but that is only what you would expect of him.

He knows how to behave. Always has done.

I’m sure he is grateful for his upbringing in Govan, in that respect.

That moulds your life. It sets the rules for the rest of your life and he was always meticulous about doing what should be done.

If you won something, there would be a letter of congratulations from him the next day.

If someone he knows needs help, he turns up on their doorstep.

He’s got a temper, but, when I think of his character, I’d say he is respectful and courteous.

In some ways, I am surprised he has decided to retire now, but I am not surprised he has gone out on a high.

Hard act to follow: United fans will be concerned that Moyes hasn't won anything

Getty

He deserved that after everything he has achieved for that club and to leave after winning the title again was fitting.

He will be a difficult act to follow for David Moyes. There is no point denying that. It would be difficult for anyone.

But United are a club who are used to winning. The players won’t change. They will want to continue winning.

They have had success, but they will want more success because that is the way they have been brought up.

The players will respond to Moyes because they will want to impress the new manager and, if he makes enough correct decisions, they will be successful again.

I suppose there will be some concerns among United fans that Moyes has not won a trophy at Everton.

There will be concerns about his lack of experience in Europe, too, but Sir Alex will still be there to advise him.

The man, who was the main reason why the club was so successful, will become his biggest ally.

Now read  Bonus Kenny Dalglish: Why Manchester United should not want to see Wayne Rooney leave and more.

Check out our viral hit, David Moyes: Running Man...

Kenny Dalglish writes for the Daily Mirror in association with The Football Pools: the world’s oldest and most popular football gaming company which celebrates 90 Years this season.

Play for just £1 and go head to head against our new WAGS Panel. Simply out-predict the WAGS for your chance to win amazing prizes! Play now at www.footballpools.com

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Swing when you're winning: Why David Moyes' toughest job is to keep Manchester United ON that perch

Much has changed since Fergie first took the reigns at Old Trafford, but winning is a tradition that Moyes must continue, writes Brian Reade

In good hands: Moyes has inherited the strongest possible squad

Getty

There are countless ways you could choose to prove how football has changed irrevocably since Sir Alex Ferguson walked into Old Trafford.

In 1986 the Red Devils were in the wilderness, English teams were banned from Europe, players were locked into pubs on weekday afternoons and fans were caged into terraces on a Saturday (Sunday, Monday and Thursday had yet to be invented).

But two changes stand out as David Moyes steps into Fergie’s shoes: The way his retirement was reported on Sky Sports News (ah, there’s another one). Football finance experts (and another) questioned the effect on the brand (and another) with this question: “Due to the sensitivity of the share price, will United plc have to announce a successor before the New York Stock Exchange opens?

Imagine hearing that in 1986? But imagine hearing Evertonians outside Goodison telling Sky that no-one could begrudge David Moyes leaving their club for a much bigger club down the road.

Back then, Everton were top of the league, on course for their ninth title, which was two more than Manchester United had won in their history.

A United who sat in the bottom four along with Manchester City and Chelsea (that’s right, kids) and comfortably behind the likes of Luton, Wimbledon, Oxford and Coventry.

No wonder it took Fergie seven years to begin to knock Liverpool off their effin’ perch. To even think of it at the time showed remarkable self-belief when nobody gave you much chance of winning one, let alone 13 titles. It’s a Herculean achievement that will never be matched by another manager.

Two of a kind? Ferguson and Moyes share some similarities

John Peters

But Moyes’ task of keeping United on their perch, in an era when, as City and Chelsea have shown, titles can be bought, is one even Hercules would wince at.

Fergie is right to say he has left “the organisation in the strongest possible shape”. Manchester United plc could hardly be stronger. But has he left the strongest possible squad, especially if Wayne Rooney goes?

There is some great young talent there, but Fergie won this year’s title through beating Manchester City to Robin van Persie (who turns 30 in August) and through his own experience, presence and sheer bloody willpower.

Could Moyes have persuaded Van Persie to shun greater riches to play for him? Does he possess the aura and knowledge to keep winning key points in tight matches?

How will he cope at first, learning about a new set of players, Champions League football and an entirely different set of expectations from what he’s been used to?

Especially with a resurgent Chelsea and City?

Expectations at United have gone from getting in to the top six and winning the FA Cup when Fergie arrived, to winning the title every year and reaching a Champions League final every three.

And as decent a manager as Moyes is, nothing in his CV suggests he’s up to that.

Whether he will still be at Old Trafford in two years time is far from certain.

But what is certain with his appointment, and the time it will take for him to get to grips with the enormity of the job, that perch is very much up for grabs again.

Wishful thinking: Cameron hopes Villa's fortunes will improve now that Fergie has gone

PA

Meanwhile, he most entertaining aspect of Fergie’s retirement announcement was the stampede of egos to get their tributes centre-stage.

Most had a sub-text. In case you missed them, allow me to translate:

David Cameron: “Sir Alex Ferguson’s achievement at MUFC has been exceptional. Hopefully his retirement will make life a little easier for my team AVFC.” (TRANSLATION: This Eton toff is a working-class oik like the rest of you geezers)

Michael Owen: “To say I played under him for three years is a proud thing to say.” (See, I didn’t retire four years ago)

Ruud van Nistelrooy: “2001-2006, 219 games, 150 goals under the most successful manager in football history.” (Up yours, Van Persie)

Ed Miliband: “Proud man. Great manager. Staunch Labour Party supporter.” (Just like me, comrades)

David Beckham: “I am truly honoured to have been guided by the greatest manager in football.” (Please love me again, Gaffer)

Angus Deayton: “It’s a hard act to follow. He is the Renaissance man.” (Look, I’m still alive)

Paddy Crerand, on an Irish radio station, half an hour before the retirement was announced: “I’m laughing at this actually. Do people sit round at night thinking ‘now what can I do to make a sensational story?’ Dearie me.”

(Cart me away to the nuthouse now please before my Pravda-like denials for MUTV make my head explode)

Now read Bonus Brian Reade on : Football has sold its soul since the Stanley Matthews FA Cup Final and more.

Now check out our viral hit, David Moyes: Running Man...

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Bonus Brian Reade: Football has sold its soul since the Stanley Matthews FA Cup Final and more

PLUS: Petrov prepares for an emotional farewell, Di Canio is missing the facts and did Rafa finally get the best of Fergie?

They don't make em like that anymore: Matthews (L) holding the 1953 FA Cup

Has a day ever felt less like FA Cup Final day than today?

English football has discussed little else since a certain retirement on Wednesday, but even if Fergie hadn’t timed it perfectly to drag the limelight away from his neighbours, would any neutral have been talking about Manchester City v Wigan?

Or with two Premier League weekends to go would we all be concentrating on the six teams who can still be relegated and the three who’ve yet to qualify for the Champions League?

Deciding to hold cup finals before the season ends wasn’t just a mistake by the FA it was one of the worst acts of sporting vandalism this country has seen. A day that everyone looked forward to, which needed no hyping because of its uniqueness, dropped in the bin of another Sky Super Weekend.

Holding it at tea-time to grab TV’s You’ve Been Framed audience while shafting the travelling fans only added to the insult.

The FA deserve the slow death they’ve administered on the greatest club cup in the world.

How apt it comes on the 50th anniversary of the most legendary FA Cup game of all time – the Matthews Final.

Stan up and be counted for hero

So long Stan: Petrov will be long remembered at Villa

Action

Now Stiliyan Petrov has announced he’s retiring to fight acute leukaemia, I doubt there will be a more emotional 60 seconds this season than the 19th minute of Aston Villa’s game with Chelsea today.

His plight touched something deep not just with the Villa faithful but fans nationwide, mainly because of the wonderful player he was and remarkable man he is.

Best of luck Stan. Your story gives us all hope the soul of football isn’t dead yet.

Cats aren't being unfair to Paolo

Right on? Di Canio has been haunted by his Mussolini comments

Laurence Griffiths

Paolo Di Canio has tried to distance himself from reports he is a neo-Nazi by claiming he’s just an old-school Mussolini fan.

“I supported fascism of the 1920s but stood back from racial laws implemented after that,” he said. Well, I don’t want to be a nit-picker Paolo, but can I refer you to a 1921 speech in Bologna when Mussolini stated “fascism was born out of a profound, perennial need of this our Aryan and Mediterranean race” claiming whites needed to colonise Africa to civilize inferior people.

So in case any pro-Di Canio Sunderland fans think those leftie types among the Black Cats faithful are unfairly tarnishing the reputation of the man you see as Il Duce, they’re not.

Flag up Rafa's Fergie record

No love lost: Fergie and Rafa never quite saw eye to eye

Alex Livesey

So, unless Swansea pull off the unimaginable and beat Manchester United, Chelsea will go down as the last team to defeat Sir Alex Ferguson at Old Trafford.

They are also the last team to knock him out of the FA Cup.

Maybe the Chelsea faithful should make a flag to commemorate the manager responsible for out-Fergie-ing Fergie at the end.

Or do they only make flags about Rafa Benitez that denigrate him? Classy.

Now read Brian Reade on: Why David Moyes' toughest job is to keep Manchester United ON that perch.

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Bonus Kenny Dalglish: Why Manchester United should not want to see Wayne Rooney leave and more

PLUS: It is a shame to see an inspirational role model like Stiliyan Petrov being forced to retire

Better than that: Rooney has been treated like a squad player in recent weeks

There has been a round of speculation linking Wayne Rooney with a move away from Manchester United.

I don’t know if Wayne has made his mind up that he wants to leave Old Trafford, but I’m sure United would be disappointed to lose him.

David Moyes will want to be adding to his squad, not watching players of calibre such as Wayne leave the team.

But Wayne is not a squad player and the impression in recent weeks is that is how he is now being viewed at United.

Some United fans are saying the club should let him go. Well, if United decide to sell, my guess is there will be a queue of clubs both here and abroad eager to buy.

Stan set the standards and leaves with dignity

Role model: Petrov will long be remembered by football

Action

Amid all the hullabaloo around Old Trafford this week, it is worth mentioning Stiliyan Petrov, too.

Sir Alex Ferguson chose to retire from football this week. Petrov, who has been fighting leukaemia, had to retire.

John Barnes and I signed Petrov for Celtic in 1999 and he served the club and subsequently Aston Villa, with great distinction.

After being diagnosed with leukaemia, he has fought his way back from it and now he is in remission. He is a great character who has only ever behaved with class and dignity.

It is a shame he has had to retire but he is a wonderful example of how a footballer can be an inspiring role model.

Now read Kenny Dalglish on Manchester United: Why Alex Ferguson will be on hand, but David Moyes will be Moyes.

Kenny Dalglish writes for the Daily Mirror in association with The Football Pools: the world’s oldest and most popular football gaming company which celebrates 90 Years this season.

Play for just £1 and go head to head against our new WAGS Panel. Simply out-predict the WAGS for your chance to win amazing prizes! Play now at www.footballpools.com

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When does the FA Cup final kick off? Everything you need to know about the big game

Manchester City take on Wigan Athletic in the final of the 2013 FA Cup Final. Find out all the important info ahead of the big game in our bite-sized guide

- By Simon Head

Eyes on the prize: The world's most famous trophy, The FA Challenge Cup

Bethany Clarke - The FA

Today is a special day in the English sporting calendar.  It's FA Cup final day, one of English football's traditional end-of-season showpieces.

Here's everything you need to know ahead of the big game.

Who's in the final?

Manchester City booked their place in the final thanks to Sergio Aguero's brilliant header in their 2-1 victory against Chelsea in their semi-final.

And goals from Shaun Maloney and Calum McManaman gave Wigan a 2-0 win over Millwall in a semi-final marred with crowd violence to secure their spot in the big show.

Where is the final taking place?

The world-famous Wembley Stadium in London will play host to the 2013 FA Cup final.

England's national stadium has a capacity of 90,000, and it'll be packed to the rafter with Sky Blues, Latics and (far too many) corporate guests for English football's traditional showpiece final.

Wembley Stadium: A showpiece venue for a showpiece game

The FA

When is the game taking place?

The 2013 FA Cup final takes place on Saturday May 11, 2013.  The match kicks off at 5:15 UK time.

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What time is the Spanish Grand Prix tomorrow? All you need to know about this weekend's race in Barcelona

Formula 1 reaches Europe on its world tour as teams prepare for the fifth race of the 2013 season in Spain. Here's the start time and all the other vital information for a busy weekend

- By Ben Curtis

Triumphant: Pastor Maldonado claimed a shock win in 2012. Who'll take the victory this year?

AFP

All eyes turn to Barcelona as Sebastian Vettel attempts to claim a third victory of the season this weekend as he continues his hunt for a fourth-straight Formula 1 world title.

The Red Bull ace won controversially in Malaysia, before picking up a second win of the season in Bahrain nearly three weeks ago.

Yet picking a potential winner for the Spanish Grand Prix isn't easy. The last seven victors have been different drivers and each will start Sunday's race.

With that in mind, we're once again set for a cracking weekend of action.

So that you're a part of every twist and turn, here are all the details of the fifth Grand Prix of 2013.

What time are the sessions?

Formula 1 heads to Barcelona for the first European race of the season. Spain is an hour ahead of BST, therefore putting all sessions at a British-friendly time.

Saturday 11 May

Practice 3 - 10:00 BST

Qualifying - 13:00 BST

Sunday 12 May

Race - 13:00 BST

Where can I watch the race?

Sky Sports F1 will be broadcasting the race live, while the BBC returns with live coverage of all sessions on BBC One or Two. Radio 5 Live will also provide live commentary.

MirrorSport will have live-blogs of both the qualifying and race, providing lap-by-lap coverage of each and all of the reaction from after each session. You can also get live updates through MirrorF1 on Twitter.

Will it be a dry race?

It should be, though a fair amount of wet weather has hit the east of Spain over the last couple of weeks. Practice 1 could see a few drops, but the remainder of the weekend is looking good.

Who is leading the championship?

You guessed it: Sebastian Vettel. A second-successive 2013 win last time out in Bahrain leaves the three-time champion ten points clear of Kimi Raikkonen in the world championship battle, with Red Bull also leading the constructors' title race. All the details are located here .

What happened in Spain last year?

Pastor Maldonado gave Williams their first win since 2004, becoming the fifth different winner of the 2012 season. The Venezuelan started on pole and won ahead of Fernando Alonso and Kimi Raikkonen, but a huge fire in the Williams garage after the race overshadowed victory. Last year's live blog is here .

Spanish Grand Prix 2012: Result

1. Pastor Maldonado - Williams-Renault - 1:39:09.145

2. Fernando Alonso - Ferrari - +3.1 secs

3. Kimi Raikkonen - Lotus-Renault - +3.8 secs

4. Romain Grosjean - Lotus-Renault - +14.7 secs

5. Kamui Kobayashi - Sauber-Ferrari - +64.6 secs

What are the next Grands Prix?

Next up is the glitz and the glamour of the Monaco Grand Prix on May 26, before the teams head to Canada on June 9th. MirrorSport will be liveblogging the qualifying and race sessions for each.

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Wembley email error lists FA Cup Final as Wigan Athletic v Manchester UNITED

The gaffe came in an email to everyone in the exclusive Club Wembley level, where season tickets cost up to £10,000-a-year

- By Andy Lines

Final countdown: Wembley will be invaded by Wigan and City fans today

AP

Wembley bosses yesterday sent out a message to 17,000 corporate members saying Wigan Athletic will take on Manchester United – not City – in today’s FA Cup Final.

The gaffe came in an email to everyone in the exclusive Club Wembley level, where season tickets cost up to £10,000-a-year.

Several hours later they wrote: “We would just like to confirm that it is, of course, Manchester City v Wigan Athletic in this year’s final.

“We apologise for any confusion caused and to Manchester City fans in particular.

"We look forward to welcoming you all to Wembley Stadium tomorrow.”

A Wembley insider said: “Of all the teams to get mixed up it had to be United and City.

"It was a genuine error by a member of staff but it was highly embarrassing, to say the least.

“It should have been double-checked properly before it was sent out.”

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Andrew Simpson dead: Tributes paid to 'heart and soul' of British sailing team

He had been training with the 11-strong Swedish crew Artemis when tragedy struck in California yesterday

- By Euan Stretch

The bottom of the Artemis Racing AC-72 catamaran is seen in the water

Getty

Olympic sailing hero Andrew “Bart” Simpson, who drowned in a freak yachting accident, was the heart and soul of the British team, pals said today.

Sporting legends including Sir Ben Ainslie led the tributes to dad-of-two Andrew, 36, who died after becoming trapped under a catamaran when it capsized in San Francisco Bay.

The Olympic gold medallist was training for the prestigious America’s Cup trophy when his team’s boat flipped over and he was held underwater for 10 minutes.

His pal Tim Jeffrey, an America’s Cup spokesman, said: “He was the heart and soul of the British sailing team.

“He lifted the spirit of a large group because he was happy.

"I remember some of the photoshoots ahead of the Olympics where the photographer wanted the guys to look mean and moody and portray aggression, and he just couldn’t do that.

“He was a perpetual grinner. He was given an extra large happy gene.”

Cyclist Sir Chris Hoy tweeted: “Shocked to hear of the death of Andrew Simpson, Olympic champ sailor. Met him a number of times, great guy.”

A statement from Sir Ben Ainslie’s crew, who are defending the America’s Cup, said: “Andrew was a great person, a terrific sailor, and a good friend to all our team. He will be dearly missed.”

The British Olympic Association said Andrew’s “talent and humour was an inspiration to others”.

Andrew won gold at the 2008 Olympics and silver at London 2012, both in the Star class.

He had been training with the 11-strong Swedish crew Artemis when tragedy struck in California yesterday.

A doctor in the team’s support boat tried to revive him when he was freed from the wreckage.

Further efforts were made by paramedics and were recorded by a TV station.

An expert said that sailors had described the 72ft-long catamarans, which can travel at 45mph, as “potential deathtraps”.

Stephen Barclay, of the America’s Cup Event Authority, said it was too soon to talk about the safety of the boats.

The cause of the accident was unclear tonight.

Andrew, who lived in Sherborne, Dorset, had travelled to California with wife Leah and young sons Freddie and Hamish.

Artemis boss Paul Cayard said the team – which includes Andrew’s childhood friend and Olympic partner Iain Percy – was “devastated”.

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Up, up and away: Manchester United players want retiring Alex Ferguson not skipper to lift Prem trophy

New champions will get back silverware they lost to Man City last season on Sunday - and stars plan to give boss a fitting send-off

- By David McDonnell

One more time: Alex Ferguson celebrates United's last title in 2011

PA

Manchester United's players want Sir Alex Ferguson to be the one who is presented with the Premier League trophy on Sunday.

Traditionally, the champions' skipper - in this case, Nemanja Vidic - gets to lift the pot following the final home game of the season.

But, ahead of Swansea's visit to Old Trafford, the players have hatched a plan for the retirement-bound Ferguson to hold the trophy aloft after each member of his squad has been presented with their medals.

In what will be an emotionally-charged day, United’s players feel Fergie literally picking up his last piece of silverware would be a fitting way to end his 27-year reign.

United and Swansea players are expected to form a guard of honour for the 71-year-old Scot as he leads them at home for the last time.

A source close to the champions' squad said: “The players think it’s only right that Sir Alex should pick up the trophy.

“It’s going to be an emotional day for everybody at the club anyway, but the roar when he lifts the trophy will be absolutely incredible.”

With Ferguson about to bring the curtain down on his United reign, he will be the centre of attention and will also address fans from the pitch at the final whistle.

Tickets for the match are changing hands for up to £2,000, with United fans desperate to be there for Fergie's swan-song at the Theatre of Dreams.

Robin van Persie has paid a glowing tribute to the man who helped him realise his title-winning dream.

Van Persie was lured to Old Trafford by Ferguson for £24million last summer from Arsenal, and at 29, will finally collect his first Premier League winners’ medal.

The Dutch striker, United’s top scorer this season with 29 goals, said: “I’m sad to hear that the manager is retiring.

“But I’m really happy I’ve had the opportunity and the honour to work with him.

“He’s a great manager and, above all, an even greater person. I have to thank him for an amazing year and for making my dream come true by winning the league.”

Meanwhile, Roberto Mancini has written Ferguson a letter to wish him well in his retirement.

The Manchester City boss said he would miss his rivalry with Ferguson, whom he hailed as the best of the last 30 years.

Of their 12 meetings since he arriving at City in 2009, Mancini won five, Ferguson was triumphant in six, with one draw.

As he prepared his City side for Saturday’s FA Cup Final against Wigan, the Italian said he had taken time to write to Ferguson before he leaves.

“I sent a letter,” said Mancini. “But it’s private and confidential. For me, it’s been a great honour and pleasure to compete against Sir Alex for three years.

“It was a great honour to beat him in Old Trafford, and I wish him good luck for his future.

“It was fantastic to compete against him in every derby, as he is a top manager. But he took the decision and we should respect his decision.”

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When he needs to shout, he shouts: Man United-bound David Moyes confirmed as heir-dryer by Everton's Fellaini

Toffees star on Fergie's successor, why he doesn't enjoy playing up front and his wish to be in the Champions League with an English club

- By Martin Lipton

Moving on? Will Fellaini achieve his Champions League ambitions at Goodison?

The Goodison spotlight will fall on David Moyes on Sunday, but the Scot may not be the only Evertonian ending a chapter.

Within hours of Moyes' confirmation as the next manager of Manchester United, his interest in taking Toffees stars Leighton Baines and Marouanne Fellaini with him became clear.

And while Fellaini has no intention of rocking the boat, the Belgian does not hide his attachment to his current boss - or the scale of his own ambitions.

Asked about Moyes, Fellaini said: "The manager is important to the club. He's been here for over 10 years, so he knows the club, the players, the mentality.

"He helps the team a lot with their mentality, spirit - tactics as well. He is really important for the team.

"He is a good guy. Yes, when he needs to shout, he shouts. But when he needs to relax, he relaxes. Of course he makes us train hard. Football is like this."

Sounds a bit like another Scot, who may be hanging up his managerial boots...

Fellaini, too, does not hide the view that his career is about progression.

Missing out on European football may not be a devastating blow for Everton but Fellaini, one of the stars helping launch BT Sport and also on Chelsea's list of summer targets, admitted: "Every player wants to play in the Champions League. That is the big competition.

"I hope I can do it with Everton. I'm happy here. I've been at the club for five years. I'm happy because I know everybody.

"I know my quality. I know the most important things for me. When I came here, I knew the Premier League would be difficult, knew about the physical nature of the league and the high intensity.

"The manager gave me a lot of confidence and the players trusted me. I've worked hard on the training pitch and tried to give my maximum for the club.

"Sometimes I look at myself and ask, 'What is my best position?' I think it's a defensive midfielder, that's the best one.

"The manager might like it sometimes when I play up front because I can cause trouble for the defenders, but for me my best position defensive midfield - stopping the opposition and then looking to impose myself on a game.

"When I play up front, it's hard. It's not my position and I find it difficult. I've played in a few positions. Sometimes I've played well there. I understand why the manager might put me up there.

"For my future, I want to play in England. The Premier League is the best league. Here there are five, six, seven, eight teams, all of whom think they are good enough to play in the Champions League and want that.

"There isn't another country in Europe where you get that."

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Nailed on: West Ham's Sam Allardyce says he will sign his new contract within days

Three-year deal ready for Hammers boss after he steered them to promotion back to Prem then kept them up comfortably

- By Darren Witcoop

Write stuff: Big Sam is finally poised to put pen to paper

Ian Walton

Sam Allardyce says he will finally sort out his West Ham future next week.

Allardyce’s reign at Upton Park has been up in the air all season, with his current deal expiring this summer.

But, after guiding the Hammers to mid-table safety on their first season back in the Premier League, Big Sam will be rewarded with a three-year contract.

He said: “We will be putting pen to paper next week and I am looking forward to it.

“I never thought there would be a problem and there hasn’t been. It’s been about this get-safe scenario.”

Allardyce wants to celebrate his new deal by playing party-pooper at David Moyes’ Goodison Park farewell on Sunday.

He added: “If there’s a bit of easing off then we’ll want to take advantage of that. It’s a difficult situation but not for us because we are there to try to win some points.”

Allardyce first met Moyes in 1993 when he was a coach at Preston and the Scot was nearing the end of his playing career.

He said: “It will be an emotional affair for him, but I’m sure, knowing David as I do, that he will be able to control and calm his emotions and do his very best to get the team to win.”

3AM

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- Chris Brown licks his nose, PSY preaches on gold podium and more: Celebrity pictures of the day!

- Pink or blue? Frankie Sandford goes baby shopping with her sister and shows off her tiny bump

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BGT gets saucier than ever! Simon Cowell kisses Amanda Holden’s bottom - will he get a slap?

Kiss my ass! The media mogul gets a little carried away during an audition.  We bet David was jealous...

- By Nicola Methven

Simon can't resist planting a smacker on Amanda's bum

PA

Simon Cowell is so impressed by a naughty granny’s raunchy blues song on Britain’s Got Talent tonight that he plants a smacker on startled Amanda Holden’s bottom.

He sings along while Ant and Dec just look shocked as retired entertainer Kelly Fox, 71, belts out Kiss My Ass, Baby by the The All Purpose Blues band from New Orleans.

And when Amanda jumps up from her seat on the BGT panel he jokingly kisses her behind.

He tells Amanda: “I kissed your ass. Did you like that?” She thanks him and then laughs: “It was a first.”

Simon made the girls kiss him, now he's doing the kissing

PA

Simon tells Kelly, whose real name is Sandra Broadbent and comes from Rochdale: “I love you. You’re like a little tiger aren’t you?”

Sandra Broadbent from Rochdale, who performs under the name Kelly Fox, sings the track Kiss My Ass Baby which is originally a song by The All Purpose Blues Band who are from New Orleans.

We'd like to see Simon try and pull this kind of stunt on Sharon Osbourne, who is returning to the X Factor panel this summer after six years away.

But Amanda has been getting her own back on her boss by dishing the dirt on Simon.

On Alan Carr's Chatty Man she revealed the music mogul’s strange toilet habits – which include taking mouthwash and weights into the bog.

“We always get designated a judge’s toilet for BGT. Simon keeps a little bottle of Listerine in his," she said.

“There are also weights – I think he gargles and lifts at the same time.”

Amanda joined Alan Carr on Chatty Man

Channel 4

She also told host Alan how she knew Cowell goes commando after he got up suddenly from his dressing room and “sorted himself out” she could see the outline of everything on show.

She added: “When I told David, he said ‘That’s terrible Simon, you only wear those jeans all week’. He wears no pants and the same jeans.”

“He wears no underwear and the same jeans.”

So that’s why he hates a pants act.

Meanwhile Amanda has also been chatting about David Walliams and his model wife Lara Stone's baby.

But, um, it turns out she thinks the newborn looks just like Simon.

Amanda said on Alan Carr: Chatty Man: "I said he looks more like Simon. They're going to make brilliant dads. I think they put it all in a test tube, gave it a little shake and Lara took it."

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Jamie Redknapp; "I regularly check my wife Louise’s phone for messages from men – and she looks at mine"

The former footballer says he checks her phone "all the time" and "rightly so". But what about Facebook and Twitter, hey Jamie?

- By Ashleigh Rainbird

When pop meets football

Rex

It's not just WAGs who worry that their partners will stray – their other halves are insecure, too.

Ex-footballer Jamie Redknapp has revealed he checks wife Louise’s phone for messages from men – and she still looks at his.

In 2010, Louise, 38, said she checked his mobile to make sure he wasn’t straying or flirting.

And in a new joint interview Sky Sports pundit Jamie, 39, admits he’s just as nosy. “I check her phone regularly,” he says, adding: “Rightly so.” Er?

Louise, once a member of 90s girl band Eternal, still does it “all the time” adding: “Sometimes for different things, normally if I’m boiling something in the kitchen and it’s there I have a little flick through.”

Something else will be boiling if she finds anything untoward.

Mum-of-two Louise, who wed Jamie in 1998 and has boys Charlie and Beau – now eight and four – also hinted that she would like to try for a baby girl.

She said: “It’s a real cliché but for me to have two children, I am so incredibly grateful.

“The boys are fab and they go off to football and I have my bit of time but I know how close I am to my mum and I just think ‘am I not going to have that in years to come?’”

Click here to read Louise spill the secrets to her happy marriage to one of the country's sexiest men.

Turbo MILF or what?

Getty Images

And, Big Reunion fans, Louise also tells tonight’s Jonathan Ross Show about the chances of an Eternal reunion.

“They have asked about us getting back together,” she says. “I haven’t spoken to the other girls but I don’t know if the kneepad days are over.

"We used to always wear kneepads and big boots. It was great but I can’t see the four of us ever reuniting. I can’t see us really doing it all again now.”

While Louise has no plans to resurrect her pop career, former England and Spurs star Jamie says he still wants to be a football manager like dad Harry.

“One day I’m sure I’ll have a go. But because your dad was a good manager doesn’t mean I’m going to be. I could get sacked after six months.”

Depends what incriminating things you’ve got in your phone, Jamie.

Jamie and Louise: Squint and it's Posh and Becks

PA

Louise's fellow WAG Abbey Clancy (we know she's Crouch now, but she'll always be a Clancy to us) became the latest celeb to accidentally/on purpose bare her boobs in a revealing dress.

Abbey and her husband Peter Crouch were out for dinner at The Hilton Hotel for a gala meal for Crouch's Spurs teammate Ledley King.

Nope, us neither.

From certain angles it looked like the 27-year-old model had chosen a pretty conservative high-necked, long-sleeved, boring black dress.

But if you look closer her black thong underwear is clearly visible. As well as both her boobs. SURPRISE!

This comes after a veritable smorgasbord of celebs exposing themselves recently.

There was Anne Hathaway's almost-nipple slip at the Met Ball, Kimberley Walsh's sheer side-boob baring frock and  Jessica Alba's flash of her bra in the park.

Keep it coming, you accident-prone beauties.

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No more florals? Kim Kardashian plays it safe in black outfit to go househunting with Kanye

The parents-to-be were looking around a house in Beverly Hills. We say house, we do of course mean a mansion. Or a castle. Or maybe they're buying all of Beverly Hills?

- By Emma Ledger

Oh hi there! Kim and Kanye are looking for a nest

Splash

She didn't exactly impress with her crazy floral patterned dress at The Met Ball last week, so Kim Kardashian played it a bit safer by opting for an all black look for a spot of househunting with Kanye West.

The television personality, 32, and ever-moody rapper Kanye checked out a potential home for them and their first baby in posh LA suburb Beverly Hills.

Together with Holmby Hills and Bel Air (y'know, the posh place Will Smith ends up in The Fresh Prince of Bel Air) Beverly Hills forms the Platinum Triangle of affluent Los Angeles neighborhoods.

Platinum. That sounds well classy. Sorry - klassy.

"But I wanted an aga!"

Splash

For once preggers Kimbot got her outfit spot on, wearing a pretty black lace top over a low-cut black vest and black stretchy trousers.

She's still really into that braided hair look isn't she? That fad's lasted longer than her marriage to Kris Humphries.

Although he still didn't manage to crack a smile, Kanye sweetly held hands with his baby mama (we always feel like such a pleb when we say that) after Kim appeared to try to hush the paparazzi following them.

Kanye even did the official primary school 'be quiet' finger on lips sign.

We prefer the hand movement Ross did in Friends.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West go house hunting

Fameflynet

Kim dressed the bump in a skintight Prada dress to join Kanye West for a romantic date recently.

She's due to give birth in the next two months.

But Kim's made quite a few fashion boo boos since carrying around that bun in her oven.

Let's relive some of the most ill-advised, shall we?

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Michelle Keegan rings into Mark Wright's radio show to surprise her "hero" live on air

But what did Mark say to her to make her say "that is absolutely cringe embarassing"? Find out here...

- By Emma Ledger

The situation probably looked a bit like this

Rex

We love getting a little insight into what celeb couples are really like behind closed doors.

Like when Coronation Street actress Michelle Keegan called into her boyfriend Mark Wright's Heart FM radio show live on air, and we were treated to a little snippet of what one of their exchanges is like.

"Hello who's speaking?" said the former TOWIE beefcake.

"Michelle" comes the Northern-accented answer.

"What, my Michelle?" Mark asked.

"Yep" she said.

"What's are you doing calling in?" Way to go, charmer! Now you've made her feel silly for calling in....

"Just thought I'd call and request a song now that I've finished work," said his stunning girlfriend - as if she needed to explain. Aw, it's nice that she was listening and wanted to call in. She was probably calling while enjoying a nice relaxing bath.

Michelle Keegan and Mark Wright on date night

Splash

And when the actress requested "Enrique Iglesias, Hero as that's one of my favourites" Mark couldn't resist hitting back with a cheese-tastic radio DJ reply:

"Is it cos it's one of your favourites, or because I'm your hero?". He was literally born to do this. Well, this and remove his shirt.

Luckily for him, Michelle laughed it off "That is absolutely cringe embarassing". And Mark signed off with a cute "Speak to you later".

Listen to the lovers chatting here (henceforth to be known as the "What, my Michelle?" chat)

Later Mark tweeted about the surprise caller:

The moment @michkeegan shocked me on @thisisheart calling in to request a tune on #ringwrighty soundcloud.com/martybruce/whe…

— Mark Wright (@MarkWright_) May 9, 2013

Publicity and attention are great, aren't they?

Michelle Keegan: Or what Mark would call a 'Sort'

FHM

Michelle recently stripped off and tried really hard to pout instead of smile for FHM’s Sexiest Women In The World poll, but was she named the hottest crumpet of them all?

Well, no. But she did come close.

That Mark is a very lucky man.

Find out exactly how close in this gallery:

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Watch Robbie Williams and Dizzee Rascal 'Goin' Crazy' on mobility scooters in their weird new video

Dizzee and Robbie have pimped those scooters old people use and gone on a rampage for their strange new music video

- By Kate Wills

Dizzee and Robbie Goin' Crazy!

As far as bizarre videos go, it's not a patch on David Bowie's stigmata madness for The Next Day , but it is quite odd.

Dizzee Rascal has teamed up with Robbie Williams for his summery-sounding new song Goin' Crazy.

But as the name suggests, the video is a bit, um, crazy.

First up Robbie is wearing the worst jacket we've ever seen (it's a Barbour with the words 'mega upload' written on a back) and riding a pimped up mobility scooter.

Then Dizzee turns up in a studded leather jacket and loads of bling (seriously, who did the styling on this?) stepping out of a studded Batmobile.

Here's Dizzee!

Then Robbie does some cringey 'raise the roof' hand moves while dancing on his bike.

It's directed by Swedish director Andreas Nillson who's made videos for MGMT and Kanye West.

And if the Bonkers rapper and the former Take That star seem like a weird combo, they got on like a house on fire.

Dizzee said “Having Robbie involved has been good."

OK, don't go over the top!

"When his name came up, I was excited about it. We went to his house to record it. It’s not often on these things you sit in the same studio any more. He told me some amazing stories."

Yeah, we bet Robbie has some great tales from those 'lost years'.

Ssh don't tell anyone about my stories Dizzee!

Robbie was also feeling the love: "the song instantly sounded like a smash. I love Dizzee’s vibe, his energy and he is a real talent. He seems to be the voice of this generation, so it was a no-brainer.”

Goin' Crazy is out 17 June.

Watch the video here in all its bonkers glory.

And if you know what the old man in the nightcap is about, let us know!

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Cher Lloyd loses control of her face as she's honoured at American music industry awards

The star's facial features went wild and moved about in a rapid fashion as she span and posed on the red carpet

- By Owen Tonks

Woo! Thanks for me awards me loves!

WireImage

During her time on The X Factor in 2010 Cher Lloyd proved herself to be a bit of a perfectionist when it came to her performances - she tried hard to do her best on stage and portray a certain image.

But it seems the singer, 19, may be letting her guard down as she did some excellent gurning as she arrived on the red carpet at the NARM Music Biz Awards in Los Angeles on Thursday night.

Cher looked stylish in an all black outfit and a pair of gold studded high heels while she had her hair tied up in a bun on top of her head.

And while she showed off her sophisticated look she pulled some immense faces to show a different side to her personality.

However, some of these may not have been intentional and may have accidentally made her look a little more quirky than sexy.

What?! That's Cher's normal face!

Getty

Looking over her shoulder at some points Cher looked wide-eyed and at other moments she completely lost the plot and sucked her cheeks and lips into a full-on pout as she posed for the waiting paparazzi.

Cher, who has been adopted by the American music-loving public, was honoured at the event on Thursday and was handed a Digital Single Award which recognises musicians' achievements in music sales as well as streaming and music video plays online.

She also picked up her second RIAA award of her career for her song Oath.

So, apart from her random faces, it seems to be going pretty well for Cher out in the good old U S of A.

Check out more pictures of her excellent gurning in our gallery below...

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Funny Vines of Ryan Gosling refusing cereal, naked Kirk Norcross and more! Just Sayin'

Ryan Gosling doesn't want cereal in the funniest Vines of all time, Shakira talks about childbirth, Kirk Norcross apologises for being naked, plus Mariah Carey's new video! Just Sayin'

- By James Robertson

It's time to head into our questionably smelling 3am studio and pretend we know what we're doing with our second hand camera and token Welshman to bring you Just Sayin' - our daily video show.

Forget reading – who needs to ‘do words’ when you can digest all things celebrity in under a minute and a half?

All you have to do is hit play and sit there with your mouth open a bit while James brings you the latest stories, the funniest celebrity clips and all the showbiz snaps.

As always, feel free to leave aggressive feedback via Facebook.com/3am and Twitter @3am.

If you can't view this on your snazzy device, click here to watch it on YouTube.

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Mark Wright 'shocked' by Michelle Keegan's phone call - but is he actually the world's most easily surprised man?

The radio presenter couldn't quite believe his own girlfriend called into his show, but then - this isn't the first time he's been shocked...

- By Emma Ledger

That's Mark's 'partially shocked' face. You should SEE his 'really shocked' one

Rex

Coronation Street actress Michelle Keegan could have a lot of fun pranking her boyfriend Mark Wright.

When Michelle called Mark live on air during his Heart FM song request show live (listen to it right here), he seemed genuinely shocked that she would ring in.

"What, my Michelle?" he spluttered, in what will henceforth be known as the "What, my Michelle?" phone conversation.

If Michelle gave a fake name and put on a bit of a voice we doubt Mark would ever rumble her.

Because Mark appears to be genuinely baffled any time a famous person calls into his show. Which, given that it's a prime time show and celebs have things they'd like to promote, happens a fair bit.

Take the time Mel C decided to 'surprise' him live on air.

"What...THE Mel C?" Mark said, when the Spice Girl gave him her name. "Nah, nah, I don't believe you" he added.

Listen here:

It was all a bit awkward really, because other than sounding exactly like Sporty Spice we're not sure how Mel C could be expected to prove she was who she said she was.

High kicks don't really work on the radio.

Michelle and Mark: Matching tans

Splash

And when Emma Bunton rang in to do her very own 'surprise' Mark didn't even get a chance to say "What...THE Emma Bunton?".

Listen here:

Just a thought - maybe it'd be best if Mark had a heads up on who was calling in his show in future? He could even get some appropriately probing questions ready to ask them.

Oh...you mean?...he did know they were going to call in? He was pretending to be surprised all along?

We feel a bit cheated.

We don't know why, but this pic of Wrighty really amuses us

Michelle recently stripped off and tried really hard to pout instead of smile for FHM’s Sexiest Women In The World poll.

But more importantly, did she make it into 3am's list of the 100 hottest girls?

Take a look:

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OMG! X-Factor's Craig Colton has lost four stone and had a makeover just in time for his first album

Remember biscuit-factory worker Craig from X-Factor 2011? Yeah, well he looks like this now

- By Kate Wills

Um, WOW, is all we can say

Liverpool Daily Post, Wenn

We never (ever) thought we'd say this. But we quite fancy X-Factor's Craig now.

Like an ex-boyfriend you've ditched for being too rubbish who then somehow goes and gets really sexy, the Series 8 contestant has lost a whopping four stone and had a nice make-over to boot.

He's literally half the man he used to be. He should do a cover of that Nirvana song.

And Craig's managed to shift the weight and scrub up well just in time to release his debut album. Which is good timing.

The former Gary Barlow mentee showed off his new look in a photoshoot for the Liverpool Daily Post, before his new music goes on pre-sale.

During his stint on The X-Factor Craig was known for his rotund look and powerful vocals.

He started slimming down after taking diet tips from his mentor Gary Barlow and shed a stone in a week.

Last autumn, Craig revealed his new shape, admitting he had lost 4st since his appearance on the show by hitting the gym and overhauling his diet.

“I live on omelettes with two yolks and three whites – to get my protein – with ham and cheese or tomato,” he’s told Now mag back in October. “I used to survive on crisps and sandwiches. I don’t eat a lot of fat and I’ve cut right down on sugar. Eggs are the way forward."

And as these pics show he's kept the pounds off.

The 24-year-old singer told the Liverpool Daily Post: "I'm at a stage now where I'm not chasing pounds away I'm just doing it to keep fit and healthy."

Craig's also admitted he waited until now to release his debut album because he 'wasn't ready' immediately after leaving the show.

He said: "When I finished The X Factor I wasn't ready to do it."

"I think the best thing about taking this time out is that I'm growing into a young man. I'm an adult now with a mortgage and bills to pay."

"I've got a different writing style to the music I made after the show. My voice is different too, but in a good way."

His album, rumoured to be called Time, is set for release later this year.

Let's look at hot, skinny Craig and be amazed...

But how does Craig Colton compare to celeb-land's biggest weight loss stories?

Click through this amazing gallery and find out.

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Willow Smith shows off her white hair at charity event after leaving her feet at home

The star appeared to float on across the red carpet as Cheryl Cole did when she helped launched The X Factor USA

- By Owen Tonks

Style MASH UP!

Getty

She once LOVED to whip her hair back and forth (as did we) but it looks like Willow Smith is now a fan of whipping open the lid of a fancy dress box and throwing on the first thing she finds.

The singer attended the 2013 From Slavery to Freedom Event in Los Angeles on Thursday and opted for some stand-out attire for the evening.

It looked like Willow had engaged in some hair whipping before she left the house which is perfectly understandable as it is brilliant fun but her unusual white blonde hair looked wild and wavy as she arrived on the red carpet and she looked like she may have raided Lady Gaga's wig cupboard for the evening.

Where's your feet, Willow?

Getty

Meanwhile, the star was luckily able to float in as she'd lost her feet wore a striped all in one outfit which made it look as if her feet had been chopped off which reminds of us Cheryl Cole and her lack of feet when she arrived on the red carpet at the opening of series one of The X Factor USA.

While Willow was showing off her style mash-up on the red carpet she was joined by mother Jada Pinkett Smith and singer Nicole Scherzinger.

And despite recording for the next series of The X Factor starting soon and Sharon Osbourne signing up to take part, Nicole is yet to confirm if she will return for the next series.

Speaking from the event, she said: "I don't know yet. We'll just have to wait and see."

Take a look at some more wondrous snaps from the event in our gallery below...

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Chris Brown licks his nose, PSY preaches on gold podium and more: Celebrity pictures of the day!

Nathan gets replaced in The Wanted and Pink's being dangled by her limbs - there's more amazing photos from the land of showbiz!

- By James Robertson

If you're looking for a healthy (and also a bit unhealthy) distraction from reading boring words - then check out this special gallery of celebrity snaps, yeah?

In today's gallery, let's all stare at the sexiness of Heather Graham, Caroline Flack and Ashley Tisdale.

Plus, lots of LOLs courtesy of Pink, Benedict Cumberbatch and more of the sexiest showbiz photos from around the world.

So what are you waiting for? The celebs can't stare at themselves! That's a lie, they're always doing that.

Get clicking and don't forget to read the captions, they help add a bit of context to the snaps and joy to your life - for FREE.

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Pink or blue? Frankie Sandford goes baby shopping with her sister and shows off her tiny bump

The Saturdays star isn't wasting any time buying baby clothes and maternity wear as she hit up a posh mum and baby store

- By Kate Wills

A big bag full of teeny tiny clothes

Wenn

She only very recently announced she was preggers on Twitter .

But already Frankie Sandford has hit the shops. Although we're guessing this was a bit different to her usual retail therapy marathons.

The 24 year old Saturdays singer shopped with her sister Tor at Blossom Mother and Child in South Kensington, leaving with two massive bags.

Although Frankie had dressed her small bump in a loose-fitting polka dot top, she still had on mahoosive skyscraper heels.

Better make the most of them now, love.

Seeing as she's already stocking up on baby-gros, Frankie's clearly not going to be relying on hand-me-downs from bandmate Una then.

Una has a one-year-old daughter Aoife Belle with husband and rugby player Ben Foden.

And Rochelle is also ready to pop.

Talking of pop, t he girlband have ditched their usual musical style and started rapping with Sean Paul for their next hit Gentleman.

Have a look at the video here:

Only weeks ago Frankie got engaged to footballer Wayne Bridge and posted a photo of her massive diamond ring which we’re guessing isn’t from Argos’ finest range Elizabeth Duke.

And she's already been out shopping for wedding dresses . Will they be maternity wedding dresses, then?

Wow, what is it with celebrities doing everything at once?

A very excitable Frankie announced her sprog news on Twitter: "Some big news from me today! Wayne and I are having a baby. We are both SO happy and can't wait for his or hers arrival!"

All the bandmates except Rochelle posed for a smiley picture pointing at Frankie's bump, which Mollie shared on Twitter.

There's a baby in there

molliethesaturdays/instagram

Can we just say Frankie - HELLO PREGNANCY CLEAVAGE.

Mum-of-one Una was the first bandmate to send her congratulations:

So happy and excited for our @frankiethesats and Wayne's baby news!! X

— Una Healy (@UnaTheSats) May 2, 2013

Now the big question is: which baby names go well with Bridge?

'London' is an obvious choice. Or 'Brooklyn' - but Posh and Becks have beaten them to it there. For something a bit edgier, how about 'River Kwai'?

Lifestyle

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- Star Trek Into Darkness review: Benedict Cumberbatch exudes a cold menace that steals the movie

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- Daily Mirror newspaper goes into space - now you can too with our Star Trek Into Darkness competition

- Friday's must-see TV: Hayley Atwell police drama Life of Crime opens in 1985 and covers three decades

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Andy Capp - 11th May 2013

Andy Capp has been a favourite part of the Daily Mirror since 1957. Enjoy the adventures of Andy Capp and wife Flo every day

- By Andy Capp

Andy Capp has been a favourite part of the Daily Mirror since 1957. Enjoy the adventures of Andy Capp and wife Flo every day.

See previous Andy Capp's or visit his Facebook page.

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Garth - 11th May 2013

Garth is the Mirror’s time-travelling comic strip superhero. The strip originally ran from 1943 to 1997. Due to public demand, reprints of classic stories began in 2011

- By Garth Cartoon

Garth is the Mirror’s time-travelling comic strip superhero. The strip originally ran from 1943 to 1997. Due to public demand, reprints of classic stories began in 2011

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Mandy - 11th May 2013

Mandy, drawn and written by Carla Ostrer, is a thoroughly modern miss. Follow her adventures with failed romances, annoying bosses and boozy friends

- By Mandy Cartoon

Mandy, drawn and written by Carla Ostrer, is a thoroughly modern miss. Follow her adventures with failed romances, annoying bosses and boozy friends

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Bonnie Tyler: "I wish I'd had children, but I'm lucky and I'm not short of a bob or two"

The Welsh songstress opens up about Eurovision, love and how to survive 40 years in showbusiness

- By Rachael Bletchly

Bonnie on the couch

PA

Bonnie Tyler is happily gurning at me over a plate of fish and chips and laughing like a drain.

The Welsh pop legend is demonstrating how her face still moves normally despite 18 years of Botox jabs.

“I only have it in my forehead and my crow’s feet,” she explains. “If you go lower you look like a hamster in a wind tunnel.”

Bonnie seemed to spend most of the 1980s being blasted by wind machines and clouds of dry ice in those iconic videos for her mega-hits It’s a Heartache, Holding Out For a Hero and Total Eclipse of the Heart.

In a career spanning 40 years she’s sold more than 100 million records worldwide... and spawned a million karaoke take-offs of her famous gravelly voice.

She’s also married a millionaire property developer, Robert Sullivan, and has homes around the world, where she could be putting her feet up with a glass of sauvignon blanc and a nice Welsh rarebit.

So why, at the age of 61, is Bonnie preparing to represent Britain in next weekend’s Eurovision Song Contest, the notorious career-graveyard?

“Because I was asked!” she says in her endearingly honest way.

“I’d sent my new album, Rocks And Honey, to the BBC to see if they’d play it and they picked up on Believe In Me as a Eurovision song.

Will Europe believe in Bonnie's performance?

PA

“I thought, fantastic! It will be an amazing experience, wherever I come, and I get to represent my country.

“My husband represented Britain in the 1972 Olympics – he’s a judo black-belt and was European champion – so now we’ll both have had that privilege.

“And, to be totally honest with you, I thought ‘Hey, this show goes out to 120 million viewers – what a great way to promote my album!’”

Find out everything you need to know about this year's Eurovision here.

Bonnie knows the BBC also picked her because she’s still a big name in Europe.

She says: “I’ve been touring with my band for 20 years and I have a lot of supporters in Germany, Scandinavia Russia, Ukraine... the Baltic states.

“So hopefully they’ll vote for me and I won’t end up with ‘nul points’!

“I felt sorry for poor Englebert Humperdink last year. He’s got a great voice but he didn’t have a good song. I do.”

As she chats away in her lilting accent it’s clear Bonnie’s enduring success is down to the work ethic instilled in her by her beloved parents Gwin, a coal miner, and Elsie.

Born Gaynor Hopkins she was one of six kids raised in a council house in Skewen, West Glamorgan.

She began singing in 1969 after coming second in a local talent contest and, with Mary Hopkins already popular at the time, changed her name to Bonnie.

Bonnie pioneered the look that has subsequently been adopted by One Direction's Harry Styles

REX

Her career took off in 1976 with Lost In France and she went on to make 16 studio albums, 15 compilations, eight soundtracks, two live albums and two musicals.

But her strong Welsh roots kept her incredibly close to her three sisters and two brothers, and “Auntie Gaynor” clearly dotes on her 16 nieces and nephews and 11 great-nieces and nephews.

“Mum taught me to keep the family tight,” she says. “They’re why I’ve kept my feet on the ground.

“I’m a lucky girl and not short of a bob or two so I suppose I could sit back like Lady Muck.

"But that’s not me. I’m a working-class girl. I love performing – I come alive on stage.

“Mum and Dad were real characters. We didn’t have much money but Mum had so much love for us.

“She died 12 years ago... Alzheimer’s. She was in such pain and distress.

"She didn’t even recognise Dad at the end. She’d say: ‘I don’t know who he is... but he’s a lovely man.’ Broke your heart.

“Dad died of an aneurysm 18 months later. He was 86 and didn’t want to go on without her.

"He used to go to her grave and tell her ‘I won’t be long now’.”

Bonnie is proud that her parents saw her rise to the top of the charts.

“The best thing I ever did was buy them a house at the seaside,” she says. “They were married 64 years, you know?”

Bonnie and Robert will celebrate their own 40th anniversary in July.

They met in a Swansea club in 1969 when she was auditioning for a band.

“When I first saw him I thought ‘Phwoar!’ and I fancied him like mad,” she laughs. “He looked just like Warren Beatty. He’s still very handsome.

“When we married in 1973 we were just young, in love, and there was no fame to get in the way.

Bonnie and her husband Robert Sullivan

Getty

“We are best friends, we have a laugh, he travels everywhere with me and he’s my biggest fan. He stands by the stage mouthing my lyrics word for word.”

But their rock-solid relationship and all the rewards of Bonnie’s career can never totally eclipse her one great heartache – not becoming a mum.

“I had a miscarriage when I was 39 and that was that,” she says sadly. “When we married we said ‘We’ll give it seven years before starting a family.’

“But four years on, the success came, so it was ‘next year we’ll start’ then ‘next year’ but there was always some reason to put it off.

"Then the time was finally right so we stopped all precautions – and I was amazed how quickly I caught.

“When we saw the blue line on the test I couldn’t believe it. ‘We’re having a BABY!! But it didn’t last very long.

"I was two-and-a-half months gone when I lost the baby. We tried again but it didn’t happen. I’d left it too long.

“It was awful obviously, but now, in a strange way just knowing that I was pregnant once is a comfort to me, for inner peace, or whatever.

"I’d never been maternal – until I lost the baby. Now, well, I just can’t let a baby in a pram go past me without saying ‘Ooh, can I have a look?’.

“I have never been more maternal in my life. But, of course, it’s much too late.”

She smiles sadly, but then adds: “I’m a great auntie though. They love me and I just adore them.”

She sees the family whenever she and Robert are at home in Mumbles.

“I live a very un-showbizzy life,” she says, “That red carpet stuff... avoid it like the plague, I do. I can’t think of anything worse than posing for all those photos. It’s all right if you’re stunning but I’m not comfortable enough with myself.”

Yet Bonnie looks amazing for 61. She’s recently lost more than a stone and is trim and toned in tight camouflage trousers.

“The leather trousers went in 1987,” she laughs. “And the hair’s calmed down a bit, too. My mate Jan’s been doing it since 1976. I won’t let anyone else touch it.

“I go to her house two or three times a week. She’s coming to Malmo with me to do it for Eurovision.”

Bonnie celebrates her Gold Disc with Dave Lee Travis in 1983

Rex

The contest, and Bonnie’s new album, will mean a whole new generation will get to know her distinctive voice.

It has been described variously as “like Rod Stewart with a sore throat” and “a foghorn of longing and intent, filtered through Port Talbot smog, Elnett hairspray and dry ice.”

Bonnie jokes: “I’ve heard them all. I think I sound like a hard whiskey drinker who smokes 40-a-day and gargles with razor blades!

“It happened in 1977 when I had surgery on my vocal cords. I was ordered not to speak for six weeks but I’m a chatterbox – as you’ve probably noticed.

“It meant I couldn’t go out, because after you’ve had a hit, if you don’t talk to anyone, people are like, ‘Oh my God, who the hell does she think she is?’

“One day I just screamed out of frustration... that did the damage.

“But I really didn’t want anyone thinking I had a big head.”

Warm, witty and down-to-earth Bonnie has never had a big head. Just the big voice, the big hair and a great big heart.

Bonnie Tyler’s new album, Rocks And Honey, is out now.

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The Gag Vault - 11th May 2013

Get your daily dose of 'The Gag Vault'

- By Mirror.co.uk

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Competition Two family villa holidays in Cyprus to be won with VILLAS4YOU

Our £25,000 VILLAS4YOU holiday giveaway starts today - we have 10 family holidays up for grabs, starting with this villa in Cyprus

- By Mirror.co.uk

Relax by your private pool at the Coralia Dream 10 in Cyprus

We're sending you on £25,000 worth of family villa holidays to some fantastic destinations in our huge holiday giveaway with VILLAS4YOU.

Starting today in your Daily Mirror and every day in the Daily Mirror and Sunday Mirror until Wednesday we’re giving away two fabulous villa holidays each and every day for a family of four with flights, car hire and travel insurance included!

VILLAS4YOU holiday giveaway

VILLAS4YOU offers the freedom of an affordable self-catering break, with the added benefits of your own private pool.

With 23 top destinations and over 600 villas, all handpicked by experts, you’re sure to get an unbeatable villa holiday with the benefit of ABTA and ATOL protection.

Al fresco: Enjoy patio dining at the Coralia Dream 10

Today’s TWO lucky winners will receive a VILLAS4YOU holiday for 7-nights in a villa of their choosing each for four people with return flights and entry level car hire all included to the value of £2,500 per prize.

And why not choose Cyprus. It offers over 500 miles of shoreline accompanied by crystal clear calm seas which make boat trips and other water activities the perfect pastime.

The beach at Coral Bay Resort in Cyprus

Cyprus is also well known for its impressive historic archaeology. A visit to the Tombs of the Kings in Paphos is a must during your stay. These impressive underground tombs date back to the 4 century BC.

Cypriots place a strong emphasis on fresh local ingredients for cooking. You can sample sun-ripened fruit and vegetables, locally caught fish and of course, flavoursome olive oils.

For more info visit www.villas4you.co.uk or call 0800 096 3439

Terms and Conditions

1. Competition closes on 23:59 on Saturday May 25, 2013.

2. Entry is open to UK residents only aged 21 over. Employees of VILLAS4YOU, subsidiaries of Wyndham Worldwide Corporation, Trinity Mirror plc, their immediate families or their agents or anyone else connected with this Competition are excluded from entering.

3. All entries must be made directly by completing the registration on the competition page on www.mirror.co.uk

4. Entry into this competition is deemed acceptance of these Terms and Conditions.

5. Only one entry permitted per household per holiday destination. Multiple entries from the same household for the same destination will render ALL entries void. Entries made using methods generated by a script, macro or the use of automated devises or bulk entries will be void. No responsibility is accepted for entries which are invalid, incomplete, illegible, lost or delayed in transit, or which fail to be properly submitted. Proof of sending does not constitute proof of receipt.

6. Two winners will be drawn for each holiday destination – ten winners in total across the promotion.

7. Saturday May 11, 2013: Today’s featured prizes each a 7-night VILLAS4YOU villa holiday to CYPRUS for 4 people up to the value of £2,500 including flights, travel insurance (subject to the winner’s eligibility) and entry level car hire. Prize will be awarded as a VILLAS4YOU giftcard redeemable against any VILLAS4YOU holiday – destination and villa of winner’s choice. If the total holiday chosen exceeds £2,500 then the winner must pay the difference. Any flights for additional passengers must be purchased through VILLAS4YOU.

8. Travel to/from UK departure airport, sustenance, spending money and any other costs/expenses not included (winner’s responsibility).

9. Holiday must be booked by December 30, 2013 and taken before December 31, 2013.  All dates subject to availability at the time of booking.

10. Competition winner must be a named passenger on the booking. VILLAS4YOU do not accept single sex group bookings on selected Villas.

11. Car hire includes Zero Excess Collision Damage Waiver, the first named driver must be 21 or over and subsequent drivers 25 or over.

12. Competition published in other Trinity Mirror titles. The prize is non-refundable, non-transferable, and there is no cash alternative. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer and has no cancellation value once booked.

13. Failure to meet the eligibility requirements of these Terms and Condition may result in forfeiture of the prize. In which event the prize will be offered to the next eligible entrant drawn at random.  No correspondence will be entered into.

14. Std Trinity Mirror plc Rules apply, see www.mirror.co.uk/rules

15. Std VILLAS4YOU (ABTA W3940 ATOL 2730) booking conditions apply, see villas4you.co.uk/information/bookinginfo.cfm

16. Travel Insurance Conditions see villas4you.co.uk/information/insurancetc.cfm

17. Promoter: VILLAS4YOU, PO Box 1310, Maidstone, Kent, ME14 9QH, ATOL 2730. Do not send entries to this address.

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Horace - 11th May 2013

Horace, the gormless cowboy, has been delighting Mirror readers for over 20 years. Follow our hero as he blunders his way through the Wild West

- By Horace Cartoon

Horace, the gormless cowboy, has been delighting Mirror readers for over 20 years. Follow our hero as he blunders his way through the Wild West

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Perishers - 11th May 2013

Perishers originally ran from 1959 to 2006. The strip is still so popular today that we decided to reprint the best of the strips by Maurice Dodd and Dennis Collins

- By Perishers Cartoon

Perishers originally ran from 1959 to 2006. The strip is still so popular today that we decided to reprint the best of the strips by Maurice Dodd and Dennis Collins

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Star Trek Into Darkness review: Benedict Cumberbatch exudes a cold menace that steals the movie

Klingon for the ride with JJ Abram's ace reboot follow up - cert 12A, running time 132mins

Dynamic duo: Quinto and Pine

© 2013 Paramount Pictures

Four years after JJ Abrams’ Star Trek reboot, the director boldly returns to the origins of the USS Enterprise and her crew for the 12th film in the series.

As with the very best fantasy flicks (see The Dark Knight, Superman II or last month’s Iron Man 3), the appeal lies in the sheer dastardliness of its villain, with Britain’s Benedict Cumberbatch exuding a cold menace that steals the movie. Whether you’re a Trekkie or a casual fan, Into Darkness adds up to a solidly enjoyable sequel.

This time, the hot-headed Jim Kirk (Chris Pine) is in trouble with Starfleet Command after a mission goes awry, and he’s relieved of the command of his beloved ship.

But his skills are called upon as Earth faces a new threat from the wrath of terrorist John Harrison (Cumberbatch) who launches daring strikes on London and San Francisco.

Joined by Mr Spock (Zachary Quinto), Scotty (Simon Pegg) and Uhura (Zoe Saldana - who had a little bother with her dress at the London premiere), Kirk heads to the Klingon’s homeworld in an attempt to neutralise the threat.

While Trekkies won’t rate this as the best film in the series – that honour still lies with 1982’s Wrath Of Khan – it’s certainly in the top three.

The effects are exhilarating, even in these jaded post-3D days, and there are enough action set-pieces, humour and character development to distract from a plot that isn’t exactly sci-fi’s final frontier.

Essentially, it’s a manhunt movie that engages without particularly surprising. Thank goodness, then, for Harrison – a well-rounded villain whose backstory is sure to delight fans of the series – and Abrams pausing over the psychologies of Kirk and Spock, both of whom suffer crises of confidence.

But this is Cumberbatch’s film. Expect to see him beamed up to the upper echelons of Hollywood’s A-list very soon.

-----

Trekkies! How well do you know your Star Trek film trivia? Take our fiendish quiz and prove yourself!

Plus, find out which member of Star Trek's Enterprise Crew you are with our ace flowchart.

Fancy heading into space yourself? Find out how you can with the Mirror

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Diamonds are a girl's best friend but the cut counts: A disorganised bride-to-be's wedding planning diary

I thought I was an expert on diamonds until I met one - now I know what really matters

Ashleigh gets her eye in with diamonds

As The Ring hunt continues (two months and counting), I’ve studied diamonds so intently I started to think I’m some sort of expert.

To help me get up to scratch, I went to meet a real one: Vashi Dominguez from Diamond Manufacturers.

He taught me new words I can impress people with when I’m waffling about my new favourite subject, like “florescence” and “transparency”.

But he also taught me that the only thing I’ve really learnt anything about - the four Cs (Carat, Colour, Clarity and Cut) - aren’t really that important for someone like me, who is probably only ever going to be concerned with the one diamond on my engagement ring.

Vashi started by showing me two of his stones; one from the top end of the colourless scale, a D (confusingly, there's no A, B, or C) and one from the bottom of the near coloureless group, J. The chart continues down to a yellow Z, but most jewellers sell engagement rings from D to J.

Naturally I considered myself very knowledgeable on the matter, so when presented with a sparkling bright diamond, I thought: “This must be the D – the other one will look yellow.” But then Vashi put another brighter and whiter diamond on my hand. I was obviously wrong.

“You wouldn’t see any colour in the J without comparing it to the D,” he told me, and he was right. That was all it took to make me stop fixating on colour.

Next, up, he taught me about Carats - which is basically the weight of the stone. He showed me one 0.5 point and a 1ct diamond. “The carat diamond is not twice as big as the half carat,” he pointed out - something I’ve never realised despite emerging myself in carat counting. “There’s only a few millimeters difference in width.”

Proper sparklers

Next up, Clarity. Looking through a loupe (a little magnifying glass), I examined two stones of different gradings. I couldn’t see a single mark on either - even though I had both my elbows on the table, which is how Vashi taught me to look at the diamonds.

He pointed out a tiny little black mark inside a corner of one facet (the flat sides) on the lower grade. “That would be completely covered by a claw when it’s in a ring,” he told me. “You wouldn’t even see it.” You’d see a huge difference in the price, though.

Finally, he taught me about the Cut, which is something I’m repeatedly told is the most important of all 4 Cs.

“If it’s too shallow, you get light leakage,” he explained. “You need the light to be bounced around inside the diamond to make it sparkle.”

This time I could tell the difference between one diamond that was categorised as “ideal” and one that is only “good”, because the ideal genuinely shone - which I guess just reiterates how important the cut is.

A ring I’ve fallen for is an old, Victorian cut diamond. I’m not going to pretend I fully know what that means except there’s less facets and the diamond is not classified “brilliant”.

But, ahead of me dragging my fiance three hours across the country to look at it this weekend, it’s good to know what I’m looking for.

If this ring isn’t the one, I’ve agreed to have one made - a terrifying prospect for me, and his bank balance.

But by far the most valuable piece of advice Vashi gave me, and one that is going to make my decision a hell of a lot easier, was incredibly simple: “Buy a diamond you like. If you love it, it doesn’t matter what grading it is or how much it sparkles.”

That’s one guideline I will stick to.

You can chat live with experts on the Diamond Manufacturers website and find your perfect stone at www.diamondmanufacturers.co.uk .

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Daily Mirror newspaper goes into space - now you can too with our Star Trek Into Darkness competition

With Star Trek Into Darkness in cinemas nationwide, we're celebrating by giving you the chance to rocket into space

- By Pardeep Bolla

The Daily Mirror has boldly gone where no newspaper has gone before... into SPACE.

Travelling 106,000ft into the atmosphere on a high-altitude balloon, a copy of the Mirror headed towards the final frontier and now a lucky reader can too.

You could have the chance to win a once in a lifetime experience in partnership with Star Trek Into Darkness.

Star Trek Into Darkness (Cert 12A) in cinemas everywhere now with Chris Pine as James T Kirk is the must-see movie of the moment and we're celebrating with an incredible giveaway that could see you go into space!

The question is, "ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH?"

Inside your Daily Mirror tomorrow you'll find your very own unique Star Trek Into Darkness gamecard.

Make sure you pick up a paper and cling on to your gamecard as you'll need it to play along to be in with the chance of winning the once in a lifetime trip.

And that's not all, we have thousands of Star Trek Into Darkness film prizes up for grabs too, including: gaming chairs, giant posters, festival chairs, StarTrek Into Darkness interactive CD's and many, many more.

The Mirror went into space last Sunday as the UK's premier space balloonist Steve Randall, who until last year held the world record for the highest ever balloon ascent (over 42km), launched his balloon in Cambridgeshire.

The "Are You Brave Enough?" campaign will be shown on YouTube, as well as through the Mirror twitter account. The ads will also run on Spotify and national radio.

Zoe Harris, Trinity Mirror's Marketing Director, said: "We could hardly offer our readers the chance of a trip into space without going first ourselves.

"This is quite literally an out-of-this world opportunity."

The Daily Mirror and Sunday Mirror's Star Trek Into Darkness gamecard and game will be inserted inside the Daily Mirror this Saturday May 11.

The galaxy of prizes are fantastic so set a star date in your captain's log and make sure you pick up a paper tomorrow.

How to play

Simply collect your gamecard from inside your Daily Mirror on Saturday May 11, 2013 and play over 5 days, with thousands of prizes to be won.

Your Star Trek Into Darkness gamecard contains 10 symbols of items that are essential for your trip into space, each of which has 3 numbers between 01 and 99 allocated to it.

Each day from Saturday May 11 until Wednesday May 15, 2013, we’ll be publishing 10 symbols along with corresponding numbers each day.

If the symbol and number on your card match exactly to those published in paper, you mark them off on your card.

If you mark all 3 numbers off under 1 of the symbols collecting them over the course of the game you can claim the corresponding prize.

How to claim

Telephone the Star Trek Into Darkness claim line on 0844 561 0059 between 10:30am and 4pm on the day you match.

Claims for Sunday May 12 should be made on Monday May 13. You must have your game card with you when you claim.

See below for full terms and conditions.

Competition terms and conditions

1. This competition is open to anyone aged 18 or over who is a UK resident except for employees Trinity Mirror, Paramount Pictures, Europrint and their immediate families.

2. The competition is a gamecard match and win mechanic. The game is played over 5 days and each gamecard contains 10 symbols, each of which has 3 numbers between 01 and 99 allocated to it. Each day from Saturday May 11 until Wednesday May 15, 2013 the Mirror and Sunday Mirror will publish 10 symbols, along with corresponding number(s). If the symbol and the number on your card match exactly those published in the Mirror or Sunday, readers mark them off on their card. If all 3 numbers are marked off under 1 of the symbols over the course of the game then the corresponding prize can be claimed.

3. Mirror Group nor Paramount Pictures shall not be held responsible for technical errors in the running or administering of the gamecard mechanic.

Gamecard terms and conditions

A. No purchase necessary. For a Star Trek gamecard send a SAE (stamped addressed envelope) to Mirror Star Trek Gamecard Request, PO Box 40, Blackburn, BB1 6AJ or call the Claim line on 0844 561 0059.

B. The prizes for the Star Trek game will be awarded to player(s) who make a valid claim during the hours stated.

C. All claims are subject to scrutiny and Star Trek gamecards must be intact and must not have been altered in any way to be eligible for a prize. Star Trek gamecards or newspapers containing printing errors are void.

D. The game is played over 5 days. Each Star Trek gamecard contains 10 symbols, each of which has 3 numbers between 01 and 99 allocated to it. Each day from Saturday May 11 until Wednesday May 15 2013, the Mirror and Sunday Mirror will publish 10 symbols along with corresponding number(s). If a symbol and number on your card match those published in the Daily Mirror or Sunday Mirror, readers must mark them off on their card. If all 3 numbers are marked off under one of the symbols over the course of the game then the corresponding prize can be claimed. There is one gamecard to be played across the Daily Mirror and Sunday Mirror.

E. Winners must agree to the publication of their names and photographs in the Daily Mirror. However publication will be at the sole discretion of each newspaper. A list of winners - name and town of residence - can be made available on request.

F. Should more prizes be claimed than are available in any category, MGN Limited reserves the right to split the prize allocation.

G. Games prizes can only be claimed by telephoning the claim line on 0844 561 0059 between 10:30am and 4:00pm Saturday May 11, 2013 to Wednesday May 15, 2013 (lines closed Sunday).

H. Employees and agents of MGN Limited or any company, organisation or individual connected with the production or distribution of the game or any of their associated companies are not eligible to participate, nor are their relatives or members of their families or households.

I. Decisions of the Daily Mirror Editor are final in any matters relating to the game. No correspondence can be entered into.

J. MGN Limited reserves the right to void games at any time and change these Terms and Conditions.

K. Any personal information collected will be processed in accordance with the provisions of the Data Protection Act 1998 and used only for the purposes of fulfilment and analysis.

L. Entry into the game implies acceptance of these terms and conditions as final and binding. A copy of these terms and conditions will be made available on request.

M. In the event of an error, howsoever caused, whether a printing error or otherwise and whether obvious or otherwise, which affects the game in any way, the Editors reserve the right to administer the game as though the error had not occurred. Where the Editors deem it appropriate and/or feasible MGN will notify entrants of the error and correct it either through the newspapers or through any other suitable medium.

N. Standard MGN competition rules apply. A copy of these rules will be made available on request

4. The prize: The top prize is for a space flight into space, subject to availability. The winner will receive a ticket to space. The prize includes a flight for the winner and a companion from the UK to Curacao in the Caribbean and put them up in a hotel, to be chosen by Mirror Group. Subject to a medical check-up, the winner will be taken 64 miles / 103 km up to space at 4G’s of thrust. The exact flight schedule will be made by Mirror Group depending on the city/airport of departure of the winner and his/her companion (if any), subject to availability. The prize is personal, cannot be won on someone else’s behalf and cannot be sold to a third party. Alternatively the winner will receive £50,000 as a cash alternative issued as a cheque within 28 days of being notified of winning the prize.

5. There is a £50,000 cash alternative is available.    As spaceflights are still in development, if the prize of a spaceflight cannot be fulfilled for any reason, the cash alternative must be taken.

6. By entering the competition entrants agree to be bound by these terms and conditions and the additional terms and conditions below.

7. Acceptance of the prize constitutes consent to use the winner's entry, name and photos for editorial or publicity purposes.

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Friday's must-see TV: Hayley Atwell police drama Life of Crime opens in 1985 and covers three decades

Also worth watching, Gardeners' World and Pride And Prejudice – Having A Ball

Three-faced: Denise Woods over the decades

ITV

Life of Crime - ITV1, 9pm

This new three-part police drama opens in 1985 – the Ashes to Ashes decade when furniture was brown, denim was stone-washed and fresh-faced WPC Denise Woods has just graduated.

Actress Hayley Atwell will age three decades over the course of the series.

In this episode she grows up very fast as she faces a barrage of sexist and just plain old rude outbursts from her boss DCI Ferguson (Con O’Neill). Think Gene Hunt without the charm, the one-liners or the Audi.

On her new patch in Brixton, South London, a young woman has been found dead in an alleyway and, thanks to an extremely chance meeting with the girl on the night she was killed, Denise has a unique perspective on the case and good reason to believe that the police are going after the wrong suspect.

But rather than being grateful for her evidence and insight, Denise’s boss is instead almost incandescent with rage.

How much of this is because, she’s a woman (a “Doris”, in the police lingo of the day), she’s fresh out of training college, or because he’s simply a pig-headed oaf, it’s hard to say.

But as Brixton erupts in a race riot, this drama takes an unexpected and intriguing turn.

Shot on location in London and Ireland, the period detail views that far-off land of the Eighties through a thick cloud of cigarette smoke. But one scene in a “typical” Brixton nightclub with Duran Duran on the playlist will make anyone who was actually there snort with disbelief.

Gardeners' World - BBC2, 8.30pm

Blooming: It's show time for the team

BBC

The Malvern Spring Gardening Show opens in Worcestershire tomorrow and although the weather report for the weekend isn’t great, with the Malvern Hills as a backdrop the picturesque location should offer plenty of inspiration.

Monty, Carol and Joe are all there this week getting a sneak peak before the crowds descend. Monty will be looking for the perfect plants to add to his new cottage garden, Carol is on the hunt again for the rare and unusual and Joe will be in the show gardens looking for design tips.

One of the themes running through Malvern’s show gardens this year is a celebration of this year’s 100th Tour de France, so if you’ve always thought that what your backyard really needed was a scale model of the Arc de Triomphe, this could be your chance to pick up some hints. If that’s not your style, Her Majesty’s Prison Hewell’s garden celebrates 50 years of Doctor Who.

Pride And Prejudice – Having A Ball - BBC2, 9pm

Details: Sooke and Vickery investigate

BBC

There have been enough film and TV adaptations of Pride And Prejudice to make you think you already know everything there is to know about Regency balls.

In fact, as this documentary can’t resist pointing out, thanks to the racy new cut of the 1813 autumn-winter menswear range, Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley’s balls wouldn’t have been much of a mystery at all. “The groin is visible for the first time in 100 years!” explains a costume historian.

And the knowledge that Elizabeth Bennet wasn’t wearing any knickers does rather make you view the book in a whole new light.

These are the kind of details that Jane Austen wouldn’t have had to explain to her readers at the time.

Coinciding with the 200th anniversary of the novel’s publication, Amanda Vickery and Alastair Sooke set out to recreate in faithful detail all of the social intricacies of the ball at Netherfield House that was one of the book’s key scenes.

Their research covers everything from the length and number of the candles to the shapes of the blancmanges and the steps of the cotillion – an exhausting dance even for the professionals.

Table of Contents

The Daily Mirror [Sat, 11 May 2013]

News

Co-operative Bank rating downgraded to 'junk' but bank says it does not need taxpayer bail-out

Co-operative Bank's new boss faces tough task of boosting cash cushion

World's ugliest creatures: The kings of the mingers and why we must save them

Jim Davidson investigated over claims of indecent assault in Falkland Islands

Childcare reforms: David Cameron insists he'd be happy for his kids to be looked after under new guidelines

Hero passer-by Preston Likely scrambles across pub roof to save toddler

Bogus travel agent Jessica Scutt jailed for selling holidays online that did not exist

Last British Dambuster relives daring World War II raid 70 years on

Football fans at cup final told to be quiet as their cheering was disturbing corporate lunch

Reggie Kray paintings exposed as fakes: Experts reveal art is too GOOD

Ark Royal set for final farewell this month before going to scrapyard

Debt-ridden hospital planning to axe 750 jobs spending £25k a MONTH on American IT expert

Sports

Kenny Dalglish on Manchester United: Why Alex Ferguson will be on hand, but David Moyes will be Moyes

Swing when you're winning: Why David Moyes' toughest job is to keep Manchester United ON that perch

Bonus Brian Reade: Football has sold its soul since the Stanley Matthews FA Cup Final and more

Bonus Kenny Dalglish: Why Manchester United should not want to see Wayne Rooney leave and more

When does the FA Cup final kick off? Everything you need to know about the big game

What time is the Spanish Grand Prix tomorrow? All you need to know about this weekend's race in Barcelona

Wembley email error lists FA Cup Final as Wigan Athletic v Manchester UNITED

Andrew Simpson dead: Tributes paid to 'heart and soul' of British sailing team

Up, up and away: Manchester United players want retiring Alex Ferguson not skipper to lift Prem trophy

When he needs to shout, he shouts: Man United-bound David Moyes confirmed as heir-dryer by Everton's Fellaini

Nailed on: West Ham's Sam Allardyce says he will sign his new contract within days

3AM

BGT gets saucier than ever! Simon Cowell kisses Amanda Holden’s bottom - will he get a slap?

Jamie Redknapp; "I regularly check my wife Louise’s phone for messages from men – and she looks at mine"

No more florals? Kim Kardashian plays it safe in black outfit to go househunting with Kanye

Michelle Keegan rings into Mark Wright's radio show to surprise her "hero" live on air

Watch Robbie Williams and Dizzee Rascal 'Goin' Crazy' on mobility scooters in their weird new video

Cher Lloyd loses control of her face as she's honoured at American music industry awards

Funny Vines of Ryan Gosling refusing cereal, naked Kirk Norcross and more! Just Sayin'

Mark Wright 'shocked' by Michelle Keegan's phone call - but is he actually the world's most easily surprised man?

OMG! X-Factor's Craig Colton has lost four stone and had a makeover just in time for his first album

Willow Smith shows off her white hair at charity event after leaving her feet at home

Chris Brown licks his nose, PSY preaches on gold podium and more: Celebrity pictures of the day!

Pink or blue? Frankie Sandford goes baby shopping with her sister and shows off her tiny bump

Lifestyle

Andy Capp - 11th May 2013

Garth - 11th May 2013

Mandy - 11th May 2013

Bonnie Tyler: "I wish I'd had children, but I'm lucky and I'm not short of a bob or two"

The Gag Vault - 11th May 2013

Two family villa holidays in Cyprus to be won with VILLAS4YOU

Horace - 11th May 2013

Perishers - 11th May 2013

Star Trek Into Darkness review: Benedict Cumberbatch exudes a cold menace that steals the movie

Diamonds are a girl's best friend but the cut counts: A disorganised bride-to-be's wedding planning diary

Daily Mirror newspaper goes into space - now you can too with our Star Trek Into Darkness competition

Friday's must-see TV: Hayley Atwell police drama Life of Crime opens in 1985 and covers three decades