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Old 07-03-2010, 01:30 PM   #1
Oliver Frances
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SUMMER LOVE

Kenny is a young man who meets Pat, a woman in her early thirties, on a summer day. The young makes the woman spring a world of emotions inside. And, through all the affair and some events of his life, Kenny turns into a grown man reasoning all the simple things which are usually overlooked. But, it is Pat who really learns about the essentiality of life.

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/11424
Use the code SWS50 at checkout
for 50% off during our
site-wide promotion!
(Offer good thru Jul. 31, 2010)
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Old 07-03-2010, 01:33 PM   #2
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Please do not post commercial offers to the "News" forum. They will be considered as "spam" and you risk be banned from the board if it happens again.

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Old 07-04-2010, 03:25 AM   #3
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And work on how to blurb a novel, Oliver. The note above suggests a book with all the originality, style and appeal of a new line in surgical stockings. Neil
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Old 07-04-2010, 05:45 AM   #4
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And work on how to blurb a novel, Oliver. The note above suggests a book with all the originality, style and appeal of a new line in surgical stockings. Neil




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Old 07-04-2010, 06:24 AM   #5
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And work on how to blurb a novel, Oliver. The note above suggests a book with all the originality, style and appeal of a new line in surgical stockings. Neil
I've just fineshed reading my first eSurgical-Stockings rather tight storyline I thought, and funny enough the eBook is NOT working on my DVT,
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:25 AM   #6
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And work on how to blurb a novel, Oliver. The note above suggests a book with all the originality, style and appeal of a new line in surgical stockings. Neil
So let me know how you could do it... And, I'll do it, however you should read the book first to talk openly about it...

Thanks for your comment
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:28 AM   #7
Oliver Frances
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I've just fineshed reading my first eSurgical-Stockings rather tight storyline I thought, and funny enough the eBook is NOT working on my DVT,
Sorry to hear about that my ebook is not working on your DVT, however you can find my ebook on Barnes&Nobles site, Amazon.com, Sony, Apple ...

Thanks
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Old 07-09-2010, 09:29 AM   #8
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Please do not post commercial offers to the "News" forum. They will be considered as "spam" and you risk be banned from the board if it happens again.

Thank you.

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where I should post any promotion then?
Thanks
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Old 07-09-2010, 10:02 AM   #9
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So let me know how you could do it... And, I'll do it, however you should read the book first to talk openly about it...

Thanks for your comment
Oliver, he was only trying to be helpful. What he was saying is that the blurb you posted is poorly written, which it is. I would never buy a book with such a blurb because my thought would be that an author who can't even produce a well-written blurb, arguably the single most important part of the book, clearly won't have a well-written book.

Neil is right. That blurb is atrocious.

More suggestions -- your book is way overpriced at $3.99. It's only about 12,000 words according to Smashwords, more of a long "short story" and translates to less than a hour of reading time for the typical reader.

-Marcy

Addendum: I suspect based on your Smashwords profile that perhaps English isn't your first language. It would explain the blurb, but it still isn't acceptable. I couldn't write anything at all in a language other than my native one, so I realize how hard this must be. However, if you are going to publish a book/story for an English audience it has to be in proper English. You might need to get someone more fluent than you to help with the translation.

Last edited by Marcy; 07-09-2010 at 11:34 AM.
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Old 07-09-2010, 05:14 PM   #10
Oliver Frances
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Oliver, he was only trying to be helpful. What he was saying is that the blurb you posted is poorly written, which it is. I would never buy a book with such a blurb because my thought would be that an author who can't even produce a well-written blurb, arguably the single most important part of the book, clearly won't have a well-written book.

Neil is right. That blurb is atrocious.

More suggestions -- your book is way overpriced at $3.99. It's only about 12,000 words according to Smashwords, more of a long "short story" and translates to less than a hour of reading time for the typical reader.

-Marcy

Addendum: I suspect based on your Smashwords profile that perhaps English isn't your first language. It would explain the blurb, but it still isn't acceptable. I couldn't write anything at all in a language other than my native one, so I realize how hard this must be. However, if you are going to publish a book/story for an English audience it has to be in proper English. You might need to get someone more fluent than you to help with the translation.

Before any judgement about my work, I should tell that the content of the book (the whole story) was revised by english professor, as well as I suggest that you read my another work at Smashwords -which is free on the promotion, and it is The Most Beautiful Woman...

And, I will check out the blurb again
Anyway, thanks

Last edited by Oliver Frances; 07-09-2010 at 06:33 PM.
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Old 07-09-2010, 11:40 PM   #11
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Oliver-

I hope you don't mind criticisms. If so, just ignore this post. Again, I'm trying to be helpful, not mean. Plus, I am a bad critiquer. I know that I do or don't like something, but have a hard time saying why. So I'm doing my best to explain what I thought.

I did buy and read The Most Beautiful Woman, since you had it on sale for free. My first suggestion is to make it free always. Charging even 99¢ for a 6 page story is a bit much.

The story itself is fine, but the actual writing has lost a lot in translation. It doesn't really flow well in English and comes across as stilted in places and just awkward at times. And the descriptions don't flow. I think you need a native English speaker to help you, if your English professor isn't one. Growing up in a language is much different than learning it later on.

I admire you for even trying a story in a language other than your native one. I can't even write in my native tongue, forget another one.

-Marcy
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