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Old 06-10-2010, 12:23 PM   #1
davidhburton
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Talking It's our Adoption Anniversary!

If you know anyone that's adopted, you might like my recent post. It's our adoption anniversary!

And if you are looking for a good children's book, I mention one in the post that's called "And Tango Makes Three" which was a huge help for our kids. The book has been banned a few times, so I think it's important to support it.

Post is at my site: http://davidhburton.com

Cheers!
David
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:33 PM   #2
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:50 PM   #3
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Thanks!! It's been an amazing journey!!
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:51 PM   #4
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Congrats too! To help with their college fund, I just bought your book - it looks like a great read!
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Old 06-10-2010, 01:56 PM   #5
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Oh, that was really nice! Thank you! I hope you like it!

What was shown to me throughout all of this is how resilient children are, and how much can change when they're given love, empathy, consistency, etc. The changes were not only emotional, but even physical. They blossomed once they came to live with us. It's truly amazing. Those boys make me very proud every single day.

I would highly recommend "And Tango Makes Three" for anyone that knows, or has, small children. Wonderful, wonderful book!
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Old 06-10-2010, 08:20 PM   #6
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Happy, happy anniversary.

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Old 06-10-2010, 08:21 PM   #7
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Thanks!! We'll make the most of it!!
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Old 06-10-2010, 09:49 PM   #8
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David, I was in tears for most of your story. My sister and her partner adopted an older child through foster care and it is one of the bravest things anyone I know had done. They have had some problems---the child is right now at a summer camp for at-risk kids and will likely need therapy for awhile---but considering that when they got her, she had been so abused and neglected that she was ten years old and had never been to school, couldn't read, and was surprised to discover that she was to sleep in her own bed without, shall we, say, company---they have done absolute wonders with her. And I have a student right now in foster care. It just breaks my heart. I think I am too much of a softie to do what my sister did because it would devastate me to bond with a child and then maybe have to send them back to parents who I know would not be equipped for them, or to situations which are not optimal or which are ruled by bureaucratic issues and not the child's best interests.

I am rooting so hard for my sister's child to come out okay after everything she's been through. I really, really want the happy ending for that poor kid, and I know that being adopted rather than staying in foster care is the only chance a lot of these kids have. I give you and your partner a ton of credit and it's always nice to hear about a happy ending!
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:16 AM   #9
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Congratulations and God bless.
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Old 06-11-2010, 07:29 AM   #10
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ficbot, that's wonderful to hear! Your niece will come out wonderfully, but it will take love, patience, and a lot of support. I'm so happy to hear when others adopt older children. Often they're forgotten and languish in the system or are sent to group homes until the cycle repeats itself. Older children need all the same things that younger ones do, and the same as all of us: love, happiness, security, etc. You just made my day with that story! Thank you!!
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:28 AM   #11
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Hi David, thanks for replying. My sister and her partner have had their share of struggles, some of it due to their own lack of parenting experience, I think. But whatever happens, they gave her a much better shot than she would have had otherwise. It is shocking, what some people do to innocent kids. I think the hope we are clinging to is they don't think there are any organic issues like fetal alcohol or anything, so if they can work out the mental blocks in therapy, she'll have a chance at a normal adult life. What is ironic is, when she got adopted they withdrew a lot of the services she was eligible for as a foster child---but then she disclosed abuse to a therapist and was able to re-qualify for most of the services as a 'victim of crime' under a special fund set up for those. So there is a lot of red tape and bureaucracy. And they have unfortunately faced some discrimination (my sister is trangendered and they are living as a same sex couple) so they have had trouble getting help at times.
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Old 06-11-2010, 08:58 AM   #12
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It sounds you all got the jackpot. Both your boys and you parents. I had tears in my eyes when I reached the end, about the formalisation of the union (because, that's what it is, actually, a union of two families).

I wish you all a very happy anniversary!
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