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Old 07-25-2008, 06:12 PM   #1
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Escape Committee

I don't suppose any of you could help? I wandered into the lounge a few days ago, and I've been trying to find my way out now for a bit longer than I'd like. Each time I try to head out, the nice doctors and nurses say "yes, certainly we can help you. yes, the exit is this way." Then they sit me down, and give me a cup of tea. Well they call it tea; it doesn't taste like tea and after a few sips I feel very tired and confused. Then I wake up some hours later drooling and.. sorry unnecessary detail.

Anyhow, I don't suppose any of you know of a secret tunnel or exit, or perhaps you have an escape committee I could join.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:27 PM   #2
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i thought my new jetpack would help, but i seem to just keep going around in circles myself.

maybe we need a bobbin of string.
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:31 PM   #3
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But. if we told you about the tunnel ... it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it??

Just sit down here in the nice comfy chair and talk to the niiice panda ...
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Old 07-25-2008, 06:53 PM   #4
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But. if we told you about the tunnel ... it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it??

Just sit down here in the nice comfy chair and talk to the niiice panda ...
How about if I promised to forget about it? Whatever it is.

<sotto voce>Psst. RickyMaveety? Zelda's wearing green. Does that mean she's one of the doctors? Shall we wait till she leaves.</sotto voce>

Awww. Hello nice Panda. Did some nasty evil man give you a black eye? Would a nice juicy steak make it better?
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:03 PM   #5
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How about if I promised to forget about it? Whatever it is.

<sotto voce>Psst. RickyMaveety? Zelda's wearing green. Does that mean she's one of the doctors? Shall we wait till she leaves.</sotto voce>

Awww. Hello nice Panda. Did some nasty evil man give you a black eye? Would a nice juicy steak make it better?
Nooooo, noooooo .... Zelda is the "queen" here. The niiiice panda is actually the doctor. You tell him all your problems, and then you pay the laddy at the door $250 ... cash only, and I don't know the exchange rate.

But, be very careful around the panda, because you might become acutelated .... in other words, pandaborgified. You will know the symptoms if you experience them ... enlargement and blackification of the ears, and urge to eat shoots and leaves. Or possibly to eat, shoot and leave.

I am only the humble duckbilled armadillopuss. I doubt that I could find my way out of a paper bag ... unless chocolate was somehow involved ... or cheese, ice cream or popcorn.

What was the question again???
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Old 07-25-2008, 07:57 PM   #6
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Nooooo, noooooo .... Zelda is the "queen" here. The niiiice panda is actually the doctor. You tell him all your problems, and then you pay the laddy at the door $250 ... cash only, and I don't know the exchange rate.
So.... Zelda is a safe to talk in front of, and this cute furry stuffed toy is actually a highly experience medical professional with many years of training and impressive framed certificates? Right. I suppose they are also carrying out complex experiments on us, and are acually just a slight excursion into our dimensions of a much more complex being. (Memo to self: Don't Panic!).

Quote:
But, be very careful around the panda, because you might become acutelated .... in other words, pandaborgified. You will know the symptoms if you experience them ... enlargement and blackification of the ears, and urge to eat shoots and leaves. Or possibly to eat, shoot and leave.
Wham, Bang, Thankyou ma'am? No, I don't know how George Michael got in here either.
Quote:
I am only the humble duckbilled armadillopuss. I doubt that I could find my way out of a paper bag ... unless chocolate was somehow involved ... or cheese, ice cream or popcorn.

What was the question again???
That's okay; it's been a long day. You were just about to tell me where the tunnel was. And I was going to given you a large box of chocolate ice cream and cheesy popcorn in an easy open bag. No. No, really you were just about to tell me the tunnel's location. Yes, the tunnel that leads out of here.
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Old 07-25-2008, 08:24 PM   #7
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So.... Zelda is a safe to talk in front of, and this cute furry stuffed toy is actually a highly experience medical professional with many years of training and impressive framed certificates? Right. I suppose they are also carrying out complex experiments on us, and are acually just a slight excursion into our dimensions of a much more complex being. (Memo to self: Don't Panic!).
Just remember to keep your towel with you at all times ... and never look directly into the panda's eyes. Also, if you upset the gibbon (Adrien) then just play dead.


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Wham, Bang, Thankyou ma'am? No, I don't know how George Michael got in here either.
Could be ... could be. Is this George Michael person, a cat, panda, gibbon, duck, android or armadillo??

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That's okay; it's been a long day. You were just about to tell me where the tunnel was. And I was going to given you a large box of chocolate ice cream and cheesy popcorn in an easy open bag. No. No, really you were just about to tell me the tunnel's location. Yes, the tunnel that leads out of here.

Oh ... was I?? What tunnel?? Did I mention the paint fumes?? Armadillos are very susceptible to paint fumes ... and automobiles. A freshly painted automobile can knock us dead from 100 yards. Are there many freshly painted automobiles on your planet?? It feels like bedtime ... why is the sun still shining??

What was the question again???
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Old 07-25-2008, 09:03 PM   #8
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The secret is not "just paying the laddy at the door", it's "finding" the door with the laddy at it.

I still can't understand why pshrynk can't spell lady. Maybe that's the problem. We should be looking for a "lady" at the door.
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Old 07-25-2008, 10:15 PM   #9
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Why would you want to leave? I've been out there, and it's much nicer in here. (Granted, it helps if you adopt a bit of panda camouflage, but compared to the demands of out there... )
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Old 07-26-2008, 03:04 AM   #10
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Ahh...somebody please help Lazyscot here. Zelda, why dont you give him a new jetpack with extra power boosters which has to move in a straight line though (but also make sure that the jet pack will reverse itself after some time, so that Lazyscot will be back in lounge again to give others company ...shh don't tell anyone about this)
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Old 07-26-2008, 05:15 AM   #11
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Now let's all just get this right. No more misunderstandings...there is NO way out of here unless you can find the 'magic key'. Finding that, is the key (sorry) to everything, life, love, money, fame, power and plenty of saucy chocolate ice-cream chips.
Where would you go, you know you'd miss the panda, armadillo, wallaby, kangeroo, snake, crow, albatross and the dog...
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Old 07-26-2008, 07:43 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickyMaveety View Post
Could be ... could be. Is this George Michael person, a cat, panda, gibbon, duck, android or armadillo??
Yes. Definitely.
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Originally Posted by RickyMaveety View Post
Oh ... was I?? What tunnel?? Did I mention the paint fumes?? Armadillos are very susceptible to paint fumes ... and automobiles. A freshly painted automobile can knock us dead from 100 yards. Are there many freshly painted automobiles on your planet?? It feels like bedtime ... why is the sun still shining??

What was the question again???
Hmm Pain(t) fumes. Really nasty; they rot the brain I'm told. I'd recommend avoiding them. Or getting lots of fresh air. Why don't we go for a nice walk. Perhaps down a nice tunnel. No nasty cars in tunnels. You like tunnels, don't you. Or perhaps you'd like to tell me a nice bed-time story about The Tunnel. You know you really want to. Just a few hints would be nice. And I've still got the ice-cream (though it is melting a bit -- you might want to have it soon). That's right; you can remember, the tunnel....

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Originally Posted by slayda View Post
The secret is not "just paying the laddy at the door", it's "finding" the door with the laddy at it.

I still can't understand why pshrynk can't spell lady. Maybe that's the problem. We should be looking for a "lady" at the door.
Trouble is, there are so many beautiful ladies at so many doors around here. So how do I pick the right one Ah.. I've got it. Please, tell me which door and lady the panda would tell me to use if I asked him.

There's one other thing you could help me with. I'm a little nervous about wandering up to her (whichever one it is) and saying "Here's $250; if I unburden myself will you release me?". I have this nagging feeling it might be mis-interpreted....

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Originally Posted by nekokami View Post
Why would you want to leave? I've been out there, and it's much nicer in here. (Granted, it helps if you adopt a bit of panda camouflage, but compared to the demands of out there... )
I really miss eating with proper cutlery. The blunt, plastic airline "things" just don't cut it. Or the food for that matter. And I miss my triple espressos. And tipple espressos for that matter. Those kind nurses just keep saying that they are very sorry, but there are rules about those things, and would I like a cup to tea....

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Originally Posted by Prash View Post
Ahh...somebody please help Lazyscot here. Zelda, why dont you give him a new jetpack with extra power boosters which has to move in a straight line though
My thanks for the offer of help. Really. I just am a bit nervous about jet-packs. I don't have a pilots' licence, and this cape doesn't come off. I've see The Incredibles, you see. Not a nice way to go. <shudder>

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Now let's all just get this right. No more misunderstandings...there is NO way out of here unless you can find the 'magic key'. Finding that, is the key (sorry) to everything, life, love, money, fame, power and plenty of saucy chocolate ice-cream chips.
Where would you go, you know you'd miss the panda, armadillo, wallaby, kangeroo, snake, crow, albatross and the dog...
The 'magic key'? That's next to the 'any' key isn't It? I know where the 'any key is. Hang-on. This keyboard doesn't have it....

You're right, I'd probably miss the menagerie. However, I could do a lot of target practice..
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Old 07-26-2008, 08:21 AM   #13
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Come now, my Indolent Rabbie, you're getting over-stimulated. Why don't you just sit down over here at this rather long table and let me pour you a Zany Carter Deluxe....err, I mean, nice cup of tea. If you're a good laddy I can get you $250 and an exit.

By the way, been to any good parties lately? Would you like to have been?.....


Cheers,
Marc
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Old 07-26-2008, 08:53 AM   #14
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Gorden. H. Bennet, laddie;
you've only just arrived,
why, think of all the fun
you'll be missing...
(though to be honest, the probes are not nice; nor the subliminal requests for annual subscriptions)
but hey, let that nae worry thee;

come on in whilst the going's still good to middling...
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Old 07-26-2008, 10:20 AM   #15
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Come now, my Indolent Rabbie, you're getting over-stimulated. Why don't you just sit down over here at this rather long table and let me pour you a Zany Carter Deluxe....err, I mean, nice cup of tea. If you're a good laddy I can get you $250 and an exit.
Over-stimulated? OVER-STIMULATED???!?!... Look, I've not had a proper coffee in nearly a week, I'm stuck in a foreign country that has no idea what a fish supper is, and I can't get my hands on good old-fashioned tablet. I've been pressing the escape key madly for the last 42 hours and I'm now surrounded by an annoying swarm of paperclips that keep trying to help themselves to my wallet. <shakes violently> Fools -- its too well protected for them to get in.

Okay, maybe you are right. Don't Panic. I should calm down. A nice cup of tea might help. Do you do Rooibos, Ma Ramotswe? Ah... Most kind. No, no milk.

BTW, that's laddie to you, kind, si-- er... kind, ummm.. whatever.
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By the way, been to any good parties lately? Would you like to have been?.....
Of course. Every one I attend is good. I'm there after all. Okay, okay. How did you know? Do you have parties around here?

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Originally Posted by GeoffC View Post
Gorden. H. Bennet, laddie;
you've only just arrived,
why, think of all the fun
you'll be missing...
(though to be honest, the probes are not nice; nor the subliminal requests for annual subscriptions)
but hey, let that nae worry thee;

come on in whilst the going's still good to middling...
I'm not worried by the requests for subscriptions. I've had the up-grade and my wallet has been surgically sealed.

Are the probes like Parliamentary probes? Large amounts of paperwork and vast spending reaching a conclusion even a tiny amount of common sense would have said is obvious?

Just one little thing - is that an arbroath smokie you have there? Yes I'd love a bit of it. It's just I'm a little worried. I've occasionally seen a hungry looking cat posessively prowling the corridors around here. And, apparently, as far as a cat is concerned, the smokie acts as a highly addictive psychedelic drug. And I don't think I have the mental strength for that right now....

Do you think we could wake RickyMaveety up? I'd really like to know the way out, you know.

Oh, thanks montsmags. Hmmm. thats a very cice tup of nea. I mean a tea of iced nups. <yawn> Who was I? Oh. Why is the tipping world? I <yawn>

THump Zzzzz.
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