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Old 05-30-2010, 02:52 PM   #1
happy_terd
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Awesome pick up lines

Spring is here and love is in the air. Here are some guaranteed "ice-breakers" to help you single folks out. (disclaimer: I am not responsible for any slaps in the face or butt whoopings received)

---------
* Did you fart? Because you blew me away...
* Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
* Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
* Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
* I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!
* Are you smoking? (No!) Oh, yes you are!
* Hey I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
* You've been a bad girl. Go to my room.
* I'm invisible. (Really?) Can you see me? (Yes) How about tomorrow night?
* You’re so hot, that when I look at you I get a tan…
* Was your father an alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!
* Your Daddy must have been a baker, cause you got the nicest set of buns I've ever seen.
* You look like my third wife! (How many have you had?) Two.
* Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
* I know I'm not a grocery item but I can tell when you're checking me out.
* Do you mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted?
* Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless.
* Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.
* I'm like chocolate pudding; I look like crap but I’m as sweet as can be.
* Do you know karate? 'Cause your body is really kickin'.
* Do you have a Band-aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
* Giant polar bear (What?) It's an icebreaker. Hi, my name is....
* If you don't wanna have kids with me, then why don't we just practice?
* Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
* You look so sweet you’re givin’ me a toothache.
* Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only TEN I see...
* Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
* Damn girl, you have more curves than a racetrack.
* I've just moved you to the top of my 'to do' list.
* Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.
* Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
* Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
* Do you want to see something swell?
* Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?
* If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.
* Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.
* Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.
* Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
* Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tacs?
* Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!
* You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
* Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don't recognize you with your clothes on
* I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.
* I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you been drinking?
* Save a horse, ride a cowboy.
* Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost mine.
* That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
* I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
* You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my complete breakfast.
* Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
* You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.


http://www.funny-pick-up-lines.com/funny.html
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Old 05-30-2010, 06:59 PM   #2
TGS
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"Get your coat, you've pulled" was always my favourite - though I only dared try it when rat-arsed, so my recollection of its effectiveness is...er...hazy.

EDIT: Maybe you have to be from "up north" to appreciate - or even understand - it.
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Old 05-30-2010, 07:42 PM   #3
poohbear_nc
Feliz Fowlidad!
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Are you actually married to an American woman, or did you have to resort to mail order?

[No disrespect intended to American women - or women of any nationality - only incredulity that anyone would listen to these lines.]

[Dear Mrs. h_t - WTF?]
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Old 05-30-2010, 07:52 PM   #4
joblack
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Get an e-book like "Double your Dating" from David DeAngelo. These methods work.
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Old 05-30-2010, 08:46 PM   #5
happy_terd
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poohbear_nc View Post
[Dear Mrs. h_t - WTF?]
She gives me a lot of spankings. Mind you she is usually in her sexy nurse outfit when she is doing so.
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Old 05-30-2010, 09:23 PM   #6
WT Sharpe
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Originally Posted by joblack View Post
Get an e-book like "Double your Dating" from David DeAngelo. These methods work.
The quickest way to double your dating is to go bisexual.




(Apologies to Woody Allen for appropriating and paraphrasing one of his lines.)
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Old 05-30-2010, 09:34 PM   #7
happy_terd
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The quickest way to double your dating is to go bisexual.




(Apologies to Woody Allen for appropriating and paraphrasing one of his lines.)
Dont touch me
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Old 05-30-2010, 09:36 PM   #8
WT Sharpe
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Dont touch me
Have you been naughty? Need a spanking?
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Old 05-30-2010, 09:53 PM   #9
happy_terd
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It is pretty much a daily occurrence in my house.

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Old 05-30-2010, 09:56 PM   #10
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What's wife doing at your house?
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Old 05-30-2010, 10:02 PM   #11
happy_terd
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erm...we been together for 14 years. Only time I dont see her is the last week of each month when she goes away for a week to visit her aunt I have never seen.
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Old 05-30-2010, 10:19 PM   #12
kindlekitten
Professional Adventuress
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Quote:
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erm...we been together for 14 years. Only time I dont see her is the last week of each month when she goes away for a week to visit her aunt I have never seen.
really now?
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Old 05-30-2010, 10:23 PM   #13
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I have never once met her aunt Flo.
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Old 05-30-2010, 10:25 PM   #14
WT Sharpe
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So the only time of the month you don't see her is when she's with Flo?

I think HT's pulling our leg!
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Old 05-30-2010, 11:12 PM   #15
GraceKrispy
Rollin' with the punches
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WT Sharpe View Post
So the only time of the month you don't see her is when she's with Flo?

I think HT's pulling our leg!
Well, better your leg than..... were you serious about wanting to double your dating chances??

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