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Old 03-17-2010, 07:16 PM   #1
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request for comments on my poetry
I have been keeping track of the number of downloads of my poetry.

I am interested in your comments. Mediocre ? Boring ? Interesting ? Not a good treatment of the subject ? Hard to follow ? Makes good contextual sense ? Waste of time ? A good read ? Not interested in poetry ? Not interested in my poetry ?

Or what ever else you think of them.

PM me if you would rather your comments were private.

Thank you, regardeless of what you say.
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Old 03-20-2010, 11:12 PM   #2
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looks like this can be deleted. I really did want feedback, so I can improve.
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Old 03-21-2010, 12:53 AM   #3
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Joebill, what's the link to your poetry? I searched on "Joebill" and got quite a few hits.

Is this what you're referring to?
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76415

If so, I don't know what Veteran's Day is. I might not understand this poem, but I'll take a look...

Edit: OK, I understand most of it, but there's plenty of terms I'll have to google to get the full meaning.

"Dawn" touched me and I had shivers at the end. With ANZAC day next month, I saw many parallels to the Australian/New Zealand experience in Gallipoli. Sad, sad, sad.

Your poem is beautifully written and I found it very moving. I want to understand your references better.

And... it's a very nicely formatted ePub, see photo.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: dawn.jpg Views: 114 Size: 127.0 KB ID: 48486  
Last edited by cbell; 03-21-2010 at 01:25 AM. Reason: Added photo
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Old 03-21-2010, 02:20 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joebill View Post
I have been keeping track of the number of downloads of my poetry.

I am interested in your comments. Mediocre ? Boring ? Interesting ? Not a good treatment of the subject ? Hard to follow ? Makes good contextual sense ? Waste of time ? A good read ? Not interested in poetry ? Not interested in my poetry ?

Or what ever else you think of them.

PM me if you would rather your comments were private.

Thank you, regardeless of what you say.
I'm not into poetry, but for the people who are, I think you need to post a link... Lots of people are joining MR on a daily basis.
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Old 03-22-2010, 04:36 AM   #5
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My poetry here is under my name Pierce, Jim

Veterans' Day is like Rememberance Day. I wrote poems for those days to honor veterans.

Big Boys: aircraft carriers
Little Boys, the escorts, Destroyers and Destroyer escorts.
That part of 'dawn' is about the battle off Leyte in the Phillipines in 1944. it involved Taffy 3 and a Japanese Fleet. Taffy 3 was a group of CVEs, escort carriers who planes were doing ground support, and their destroyer guardians. The biggest gun on them was 5". The Japanese Fleet had the Yamato, with 18.1" guns. The destroyers and destroyer escorts attacked the Japanese fleet to protect the carriers. Most didn't survive.

My poems arep osted in the epub book forum, just do a search on 'Pierce, Jim' and you will see the list.

I do drop a number of societal references into my poems. So if you need one explained, don't hesitate to ask.
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Old 03-22-2010, 04:39 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cbell View Post
Joebill, what's the link to your poetry? I searched on "Joebill" and got quite a few hits.

Is this what you're referring to?
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76415

If so, I don't know what Veteran's Day is. I might not understand this poem, but I'll take a look...

Edit: OK, I understand most of it, but there's plenty of terms I'll have to google to get the full meaning.

"Dawn" touched me and I had shivers at the end. With ANZAC day next month, I saw many parallels to the Australian/New Zealand experience in Gallipoli. Sad, sad, sad.

Your poem is beautifully written and I found it very moving. I want to understand your references better.

And... it's a very nicely formatted ePub, see photo.
yes, that is one of mine.

I have been told by a few folks that they can close their eyes, after reading my poetry, and they can imagine a short movie from what I wrote. 'eyelid movies' one person called them.

I use Atlantis word proccessor to 'save as' epub. I find it works well.
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Old 03-22-2010, 01:03 PM   #7
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I like the idea but it needs to be tightened up. It sounds a little like a textbook now. You could use symbolism instead of just naming the different ships and planes.
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Old 03-26-2010, 08:21 PM   #8
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links to my poems.

two sf poems:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

History: Apollo 11
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: just so ya know:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: fiddle, galaxy, nebulae, piano:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: Star Light Diner:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: driving down the spaces between galactic arms:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

other fiction: Holiday Card the old cowhand
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

Historical Fiction: Winter Sunset:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: slow solar sail to Jupiter:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

short fiction: Fall Water:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: a portable Tiki Room:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

history: lost at sea (graphic), mentions a person's remains in one part:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

action: Veterans' Day/Rememberance Day: dawn:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: Jupiter Balloon:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: Bicycle Ride on the Moon ?:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: filmmaker:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: Stardust and the Desert:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: Planetary Ship 'Hot Dancer':
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

sf: take my breath... away:
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/sho...=Pierce%2C+Jim

@banjobama:

I mostly left out the ship names, just put in the types. So, I am uncertain what you mean.
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Old 03-28-2010, 10:23 AM   #9
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Mar 28, 2010 post

sf: spaceships hiss by my window
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=78604
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Old 04-06-2010, 08:14 PM   #10
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April 6, 2010, my newest posts.

Starship Pilot Hero !
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79482

winter, snow, clouds, aurora borealis
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79483

a distant song...
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79484

headlights
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=79487
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Old 04-15-2010, 05:15 PM   #11
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April 15, 2010:

The Littlest Nightingale
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80432

I cry when I read it.
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Old 04-19-2010, 08:39 PM   #12
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April 19, 2010

The Coin Operated Time Machine
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80830

Star Lit Guitar
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80831

Out of curiosity, does anyone think one of the poems of mine could be turned into a short story ?

Thanks.
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Old 04-20-2010, 06:44 PM   #13
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April 20, 2010

Drive-In Movie in the Lonesome Desert Night
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=80905

I have 2 other ones about drive-in movie theaters. One of them is a Halloween type poem. I have been thinking about posting the 3 poems as one download.

What do you think ?
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Old 05-02-2010, 08:54 PM   #14
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May 2, 2010

A compilation of poems: the Black Velvet series and two Galaxies like Dust poems that intersected for a bit.

http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82296
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Old 05-08-2010, 09:29 PM   #15
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Mother's Day, 2009
http://www.mobileread.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82989
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