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Old 07-21-2009, 12:10 PM   #1
ahammer
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for griffonwing
I found a book for you or maybe it was made by you... you ever go by the name tim bete?




Quote:
Avast ye land lubber spawn raiser
If you’re like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don’t know how. In the Guide to Pirate Parenting, Cap’n Billy “The Butcher” MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers. You'll learn:

At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye
Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie
How to prevent sogging the quartermaster
The best place to maroon your disobedient child
How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child’s hair
The difference between plundering and pillaging
How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner
When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar
And best of all each information-packed section of the Guide to Pirate Parenting ends with “Your pirate’s progress,” a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones. If you follow the instructions in this book and your child does not become a pirate, Cap'n Billy will refund the purchase price of this book. *

* Please note, Cap'n Billy reserves the right to make refunds in salt god in lieu of cash, not that he plans to give any refunds anyways.


link hidden for zelda protectson
Spoiler:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/1-3-years/c033/
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sorry for the bad spelling im dislick... dyslic...o I cant even spell that.

the cow says mooo. the dyslexic hammer says gnab, gnab.

Duke of buckets of water and/or any other liquid held in buckets.

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Old 07-21-2009, 02:02 PM   #2
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LOL!! Last I checked though, Griffonwing was single....
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Old 07-21-2009, 02:39 PM   #3
ahammer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phenomshel View Post
LOL!! Last I checked though, Griffonwing was single....
maybe he sould read it just to be ready then...
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sorry for the bad spelling im dislick... dyslic...o I cant even spell that.

the cow says mooo. the dyslexic hammer says gnab, gnab.

Duke of buckets of water and/or any other liquid held in buckets.

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Old 07-21-2009, 03:09 PM   #4
griffonwing
Suave Swabby, Savvy?
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I am single, yes, but maybe what I need is to read up on this so I can project my inner pirate-fatherness and attract the right wench!!

Thanks for the heads up!
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Old 07-21-2009, 03:29 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by griffonwing View Post
I am single, yes, but maybe what I need is to read up on this so I can project my inner pirate-fatherness and attract the right wench!!

Thanks for the heads up!
attract? i thought it was more on the line of "capture"..
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Old 07-21-2009, 03:33 PM   #6
griffonwing
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I gotta get em close enough to club over the head...
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Old 07-25-2009, 09:55 AM   #7
zelda_pinwheel
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just saw this thread. thanks ahammer for the spoiler tag for my protection.

funny trivia, bête in french means either "beast" or "stupid" (depending on context). i leave it up to you to decide which is more appropriate here.
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Old 07-25-2009, 03:59 PM   #8
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You kids get off my lawn!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phenomshel View Post
LOL!! Last I checked though, Griffonwing was single....
That certainly wouldn't stop him from being (or becoming) a father!
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Old 07-25-2009, 08:05 PM   #9
griffonwing
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No children here. Not that I don't think I'd make a great father. I've been told I would, and I love kids, and get along with them easily enough.

Besides, when they play dress up, I'd join them! Everyday would be Pirate Ship Day!
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