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Old 11-24-2010, 12:07 PM   #766
pshrynk
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He waited in the dark. He was bored. He had had only a cameo appearance way back last year and then nothing. Would it be too much to at least mention him?

But he digressed. The time was upon him. He waited for the Call. If the damned squid would just quit hogging the limited bandwidth here in this ghod forsaken place...

But he digressed. Again. He was ready and eager. The ears of his enemies would cry out for mercy. Maybe there would be bananas. Or banana daquiris. That would be nice. Something alcoholic and blended with ice.

But he digressed further. He wanted action and all he'd gotten was a bit of rustling of a tree. He was angry and willing to show it.
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Old 11-26-2010, 10:06 AM   #767
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He waited in the dark. He was bored. He had had only a cameo appearance way back last year and then nothing. Would it be too much to at least mention him?

But he digressed. The time was upon him. He waited for the Call. If the damned squid would just quit hogging the limited bandwidth here in this ghod forsaken place...

But he digressed. Again. He was ready and eager. The ears of his enemies would cry out for mercy. Maybe there would be bananas. Or banana daquiris. That would be nice. Something alcoholic and blended with ice.

But he digressed further. He wanted action and all he'd gotten was a bit of rustling of a tree. He was angry and willing to show it.
Who could this mystery character possibly be?! I suspect Stephen Fry, a lady's stocking, or possibly the butler. Everyone knows all three of them love banana daiquiris.

We'll wait, faking patience.
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Old 11-26-2010, 06:37 PM   #768
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Hmmmm! Let me guess. Great priest of the Ninja Squirrels...
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Old 12-27-2010, 10:10 PM   #769
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So? Where is the temporal displacement catalyzer stone?
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Old 12-27-2010, 10:38 PM   #770
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I think it's stuck in the Philadelphia airport. Which is snowed in.
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Old 12-27-2010, 10:42 PM   #771
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I think it's stuck in the Philadelphia airport. Which is snowed in.
Hey, you should know, it was discovered with a Hadron Collider was it?
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:11 AM   #772
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Indubitably!
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:13 AM   #773
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Indubitably!
Wait, what? The Philadelphia airport?
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Old 12-28-2010, 06:07 PM   #774
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Harv was starting to get bored. The whole evening he had only landed a few punches. Every time a German "peasant" was moving in on him, the German either tripped, or one of his fellow card players would lurch into the field and either get punched senseless or knock the German out of the way. Harv had been spoiling for a fight ever since he got fired from the Air Mail job and this was just not going his way.

Looking down, he saw Vivaldi running around tripping Germans or card players. He managed to look embarrassed. "I can't help it! It's deep in the genes. Either heroically assist the master or run off to the farm house and bark psychotically until a) shot as rabid, b) followed by mystified farm folk back to the well, or c) both. Since we have neither a farm house nor a well, I went with the first option."

"You're spoiling my fun!"

"Doesn't matter! I have to do it or I start getting the shakes."

"Well, at least join in heroically helping me to fight. I'll line them up and you do your thing, okay"

"Okay!"

The next German peasant cum thug came straight at Harv. bracing himself, Harv blocked a punch, right jabbed, ducked a roundhouse, shifted right, left hook, right jab, watched Vivaldi jump up on his back legs and dance around in a circle, took a knock to the head and staggered back.

"What the Hell was that?"

"My thing! I always wanted to perform in the circus."

"You were supposed to bite him!"

"What? From this angle? Do you have any idea how bad that smells? And I'm supposed to put my mouth next to it? are you nuts?"

"Just follow the plan!"

"I'll show you plan! A wolf wouldn't be following any plan! He'd just reach up and rip out a few throats and howl down the holes! Damned humans and there millenia of inbreeding!"

"VIVALDI!"

"Hmph!"

Once again, block, jab, duck, shift, hook, jab, Vivaldi bites him on the ass, roundhouse to the head. The German went cross eyed and sunk to the floor.

"Good boy!"

"Ptew! Ptew! Don't these guys ever bathe? I'm going to be washing my mouth out for a week!"

"Let's go help Vera!"

Vivaldi looked over at his possibly former owner and asked, "Help how? Help her grind her stiletto into the back of the guy she just cold cocked, or help her rip the arms off the one she has in a head lock?"

"Just come on!"

"Hmph!"
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:40 PM   #775
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Whoo hoo!! It's action time!
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Old 12-28-2010, 11:15 PM   #776
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That could take a while...

Anyway... Woohoo! Git'em, Harv!!!


(what a courageous dog that Vivaldi!)
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Old 12-29-2010, 06:47 PM   #777
pshrynk
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Vera twisted the German's ear until he screamed in agony and then put her knee to good use. The thug turned purple and fell to the ground. Looking around, she noticed that those who had to fight the squirrels in black pajamas were not fairing so well. The Germans could be handled with basic fighting techniques if you weren't that keen on fighting fair. And a couple years fending for herself on the riverboats had shown her that fighting fair was for those who wished to lose honorably. However, the squirrels were just too fast. A poker player would take a swing at one of the little buggers and said bugger would merely jump off to another victim, leaving a nasty cut on the original target. The air was filled with darting black figures wielding razor sharp knives.

The only two in the room who were not affected by the squirrels (Vera had several cuts on the backs of her hands) were Dr Montsnmags and the squid who had been the dealer at their table. The squid was currently holding three squirrels by their necks and playing a tarantela by banging their skulls together in rhythm. He was also holding the cards down from the last hand on the collapsed table and trying to communicate to Biggles that, no, he did not wish to have a stick of dynamite tucked up his trouser legs, because he had no trousers and, more to the point, no legs. It was handy to have eight tentacles when one needed to multitask.

Montsnmags, on the other hand, did not seem to be attracting the attention of the squirrels in any fashion. She watched as one of the airborne rodents flew in the direction of the doctor and, nearly breaking its back, changed directions in mid flight, rather than come within a yard of its unintended target. Montsnmags stood in the center of the room and seemed to be carrying on a conversation with either himself or God, since he was looking up in the air as the talked.

"Well, I am sure that your feelings are hurt, but the contract did specifically state that you would have a brief foreshadowing appearance, a short scene showing your disgruntlement with the progress of the story, and then your final entry in the climactic fight scene. I might point out that you are, in fact late yourself. And no, don't give me that line about being available for a noir mystery film delaying you, you do have your own built in Temporal Displacement Unit for such problems."

Right before the universe exploded, Vera realized that Montsnmags was not showing his speech... impediment.
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:34 PM   #778
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He was impeded in his speech?
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:51 PM   #779
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He used to have long ... pauses ... in his speech.

Perhaps he watched The King's Speech and got it cured!
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Old 12-29-2010, 10:04 PM   #780
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Chhhht! I know it's only to get the author writing again...


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