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Old 04-12-2009, 09:32 AM   #1
Ralph Sir Edward
Gentleman & Cynic
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News Flashes from the Future!

All sorts of people are worried about the future, so let's have some light-hearted News flashed from the future....I'll Start it out.

Flash! - Dateline - Mexico City, April 12, 2025.

Texas secedes from the US and joins Mexico!

Cites need for more responsive government and less corruption. Mexico responded with open arms. "About time they got the chance to use a decent, organized language." states Mexico's President.
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Old 04-12-2009, 09:35 AM   #2
Moejoe
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Flash - Dateline - Brussels, April 12, 2025

Hats back in fashion!

The much maligned Trilby and Fedora have become essential fashion items for men this Spring all across Europe and the world. A spokesperson for the BMA (Bald Men's Association) is quoted as saying: "Finally we can walk out in the streets without shame. This is a new era for the follicley challenged."
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Old 04-12-2009, 09:56 AM   #3
mjh215
Guru
mjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentametermjh215 can solve quadratic equations while standing on his or her head reciting poetry in iambic pentameter
 
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didja c that last nite? - PPN - Earth, like 2061 or sumtin

yo i was all like wow, but u know wha? it was just like nuttin so i said o well... but they said i had to rite 1 thing or nother so i figure wha tha hell... so here

from wikipedia . "halley was this smart dood long ago, and so they named this cold rock thing in the sky after him. [citation needed dumbass]"
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Old 04-12-2009, 01:32 PM   #4
Ralph Sir Edward
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Flash! - Dateline - April 14 2011 -

News Corp announces the merger of the recently acquired National Inquirer with The Wall Street Journal. Rupert Murdock is reported to have said "This allows us to merge the hard hitting investegative journalism of the Inquirer with the forward thinking news needs of investors. After all, the truth is out there somewhere, and when we find it, we'll tell you about it - and show you how to make a profit off of it."

In an additional coup, News Corp has announced it has gotten the exclusive right to a "green investing" series of articles from the Loch Ness Monster and an ongoing column on tech investing from two California-resident space aliens.

Rumors about ongoing merger talks between the Financial Times and the Weekly World News have received a curt "no comment" from both parties.
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:03 PM   #5
Moejoe
Banned
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Flash - Dateline, London, 2012.

Zombies take over the world!

After the recent mysterious plague wiped out 99% of the population, the recently dead have been reported to be rising from their graves and feasting upon the living. A recently departed citizen was quoted as saying: "Braaaaains....braaainsss...."
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Old 04-12-2009, 02:37 PM   #6
tirsales
MIA ... but returning som
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[additional information regarding zombie malady available]
Top journalist Brian MacBluehilt missing - MacBluehilt went missing shortly after he began his investigations covering the connections between World Streets Major Playor Xykon (Lich, unknown age) and the newly formed ZLF (Zomie Liberation Front).
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Old 04-13-2009, 03:45 PM   #7
jinlo
aka coco jinlo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moejoe View Post
Flash - Dateline, London, 2012.

Zombies take over the world!

After the recent mysterious plague wiped out 99% of the population, the recently dead have been reported to be rising from their graves and feasting upon the living. A recently departed citizen was quoted as saying: "Braaaaains....braaainsss...."
Dateline, London 2013

All air purifying efforts have failed. One of the few surviving non-zombie residents was quoted as saying:

"This place stinks!"
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Old 04-15-2009, 03:39 PM   #8
pshrynk
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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Dateline 12/12/12

......................
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Old 04-15-2009, 03:57 PM   #9
RWood
Technogeezer
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Dateline 2020

The last physically published newspaper in the United States, The Wretched Mess News of West Yellowstone, has closed after 73 years of publication. Citing the cancellation of its last remaining advertisement for a ZCD drink mix, the WMN said it was considering starting an on-line edition but was unsure if the Internet fad would last long enough for them to realize this.
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Old 04-15-2009, 04:04 PM   #10
Sparrow
Wizard
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Dateline 17/05/2024

US adopts correct date format ... admits error of ways.
Says sorry for all the inconvenience caused.
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Old 04-15-2009, 04:08 PM   #11
daffy4u
I'm Super Kindle-icious
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
Dateline 17/05/2024

US adopts correct date format ... admits error of ways.
Says sorry for all the inconvenience caused.
That's so wrong.

Dateline 12/31/2009

The World is fully Kindle-ized!
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Old 04-15-2009, 05:43 PM   #12
RWood
Technogeezer
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Dateline 2012

MobileRead poised to challenge Google for #1 Internet site.

In a battle among titans, MobileRead and Google are within 1% of each other (with MobileRead leading Google in Europe.) The iRead site created after the merger of Amazon and Apple is still a distant third.
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:04 PM   #13
Madam Broshkina
Manic Do Fuse
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:21 PM   #14
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
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You are evil.
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