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Old 11-13-2008, 08:35 PM   #91
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
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hugo does seem to be constantly unraveling.
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:47 PM   #92
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Harv looked at Myatake. "What do I need to do?" he asked.

"Simply fly to a location and pick up a package, then fly it back to Lake Gatun. After that, you will be freed."

"Sure."

"Well, maybe not, but you need to have hope."

Harv looked down at Vivaldi, who was busy licking his right paw, muttering, "Tastes like chicken. Always like chicken,"

Harv was fairly certain that he had a good chance of dying, even if he and Vera were the stars of this thread. But a plan would come along. It always did, somehow.

"Right. Let's get going, shall we?"

"Just know that I retain the squid, even though it is in my pocket."

Vera looked down. "That is just disturbing."

Trying to look nonchalant as is possible with an unconscious Japanese man over the shoulder of a model-handsome man, a talking dog muttering to himself about chicken, a ravishingly beautiful woman, and a man with a squid in his pants pocket, they made their way down the streets of Old Town. They could have competed in the Olympic Nonchalance Fifty Yard Saunter and placed at least Bronze.

Getting off the train, they walked up the trail to Harv's camp, where the Goose was moored. Dumping Fujimora's limp body in the cargo bay, Harv turned to the cockpit.

"I'm going to need a co-pilot," he said.

"Vivaldi-san can do it," said Myatake, whom Harv was beginning to think may not be an actual flower salesman.

"He's a dog! He doesn't have thumbs! No, it's got to be Vera."

"I know that the dog can co-pilot."

"Yeah? How?"

"I saw the trailer."

"Damn!"
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:50 PM   #93
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"I know that the dog can co-pilot."

"Yeah? How?"

"I saw the trailer."

"Damn!"
Inspired!
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Old 11-13-2008, 08:59 PM   #94
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They could have competed in the Olympic Nonchalance Fifty Yard Saunter and placed at least Bronze.
and, taking the gold medal for "imaginary Olympic events which should really exist," the Nonchalance Fifty Yard Saunter with 10 for technique and 10 for style !
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Old 11-13-2008, 09:40 PM   #95
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Harv sat in the pilot's seat and glowered at the instruments. "I had a plan!"

"We can still follow the plan, but this time with someone who knows how to fly in the co-pilot seat." Vivaldi was trying to be upbeat.

"Oh, yeah! Doing and inverted loop with Vera in the cargo bay without proper restraints would really do her a lot of good! Now we have to figure out a new way to get out of this. Any ideas?"

Vivaldi had been looking into the distance and moving his mouth, talking his way through something. "You mean other than dropping your best friend out of a fast moving airplane at a great height?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

"Make your own plans, pretty boy. Let's just do the check list."

"Um. We've done this a million times and we should just skip it?"

"Check."

"Right, let's go."

The starboard engine of the Goose turned over and fired. Seconds later, the port engine fired. Harv yelled back to the cargo bay to let loose the mooring lnes. They slowly slid out to the middle of Lake Gatun. The friends sat in embarrassment.

Finally, Vivaldi broke the silence. "Harv?"

"Yeah, Viv?"

"Why was that parachute opened up all over the cargo bay?"

"No idea. There were a couple of socks in the pack when I put it back."

"Weird."

"Yeah."

The plane picked up speed with a roar. It bounced over the waves briefly and was airborne.

"What did you do with them?"

"Huh?"

"The socks. What did you do with them?"

"Oh. I put them in the emergency case."

"With all the emergency flares?"

"Yeah. Myatake saw me do it and wired it shut. No chance to get at the flares, now."

"That would have been a good plan."

"Yeah."
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Old 11-13-2008, 10:09 PM   #96
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[suddenly a loud pop-snap and the smell of ozone]

The above line may be inserted at appropriate spots in the plot.
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Old 11-14-2008, 09:19 AM   #97
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Lefty, Hugo, and me!
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"Hugo?"

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"Why are we here?"

"Well, some say that the Great Wearer decided that all Wearers needed comfyness and warmth for their feet and therefore stretched His hand forth and caused the Knitting to occur from raw firmament. Others feel that Primitive Wearers had to cover their feet with skins and furs as the migrated northward from Africa. Because of the chaffing, they discovered knitting. AFter several generations, mutations in the basic pattern of Socking became evident and that led to the diversity of Socks that we have today."

"Huh. Actually, I was wondering why we are in this box."

"Oh. That. Well, we are trying to rescue the Beautiful Wearer from the peril."

"Okay."

They sat in muffled silence as they heard the engines of the plane warm up. They both were pleased at the idea that something was warming up.

"Hugo?"

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"We're basically fashion accessories. How are we going to rescue the Beautiful Wearer?"

"Good question, as usual, Lefty. Grab that end of the bolt cutters, will you?"
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Old 11-14-2008, 09:38 AM   #98
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EDITORIAL COMMENT: Please reverse the names of the conversants in the above dialogue to maintain character fidelity.
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Old 11-14-2008, 09:42 AM   #99
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I went over to psockpuppet's cubicle and flogged him until he fixed it.
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Old 11-14-2008, 09:45 AM   #100
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EDITORIAL COMMENT: Please ignore the previous editorial comment, as the puppet has edited the original. You would think a psockpuppet could recognize smart wool socks, but apparently this particular psockpuppet is a bit of a racist and claims that all smart wool socks look alike to him, which is ridiculous, as Lefty is easy to spot. He's the one on the LEFT, and Hugo has a warped sense of humor (warped, get it?). He's also usually covered in bits of lint and stray threads from his liaisons.
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Old 11-14-2008, 10:56 AM   #101
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"Oh. That. Well, we are trying to rescue the Beautiful Wearer from the peril."

"Okay."

They sat in muffled silence as they heard the engines of the plane warm up. They both were pleased at the idea that something was warming up.

"Hugo?"

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"We're basically fashion accessories. How are we going to rescue the Beautiful Wearer?"

"Good question, as usual, Lefty. Grab that end of the bolt cutters, will you?"
and they say chivalry is dead. lefty doesn't give himself enough credit though ; a smart sock is so much more than a fashion accessory.
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Lefty is easy to spot. He's the one on the LEFT,
pfff. obviously.
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Old 11-14-2008, 11:31 AM   #102
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Harv thought furiously as he flew over Panama city. What could he do? He couldn't get past the idea that Myatake had the squid. At first, he had thoguht that it was just a marine invertebrate and what the hell damage could that do. Then Myatake had demonstrated on the side of the Goose. It was just awful. And it was going to take months to get that ink stain off the side of the plane.

"Vivaldi, hop back and ask Myatake where we're going."

"No need, Mr Wallbanger. I am right here."

Harv worked extra hard at not jumping out of his skin.

"So, where we going then?"

"Fly due west for sixty nautical miles. There will be a submarine."

"Six zero nautical at two seven zero. Got it. I suppose we'll be taking off from there, also?"

"Of course. "

"How heavy is the cargo?"

"You do not need to know that."

"Maybe I don't but the Goose does. Anything over a thousand pounds and we'll need JATO. Just saying."

"All has been arranged. Fly the aircraft. Oh, and I will be taking the control panel from the radio, now."

"Hey! I just got a good World Music station!"

"You will have to be content with humming, Vivaldi-san." The Japanese spy reached forward and took the radio from the control panel.

"I can see where his kids got their behaviors from."

They flew on in silence.

"They call them fish, you know."

"What?"

"Submarines. They call them fish."

"Why would I need to know that?"

"I'm just trying to pass the time. I'm bored without my radio."

"And I'm just trying to figure out how to get us out of this jam."

"Well excuse me for having a short attention hey, I wonder if there's any bacon on board?
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:06 PM   #103
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Meanwhile, the squid, unhappy with being crammed into a pocket (and knowing all about ika sushi), especially when it was just getting a chance to start negotiations with Vera that could have led to it untying her and her finding it a nice warm saltwater tank somewhere, began to plot its revenge....
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:20 PM   #104
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Do Squids have big sisters/brothers?
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Old 11-14-2008, 12:26 PM   #105
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Oh yes: Giant Squid. Or, since all Harv/Vera stories must include not only squid, but pies, then perhaps we can expect to see octopi as the story unfolds.

In totally unrelated news, due to an unfortunate occurrence, I hereby redefine/mozzle "nanosecond" as the interval between realizing your ipod nano is about to drop into the toilet and reaching out to grab it, and it actually doing so as your hand grasps empty space.
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