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Old 11-20-2008, 10:12 PM   #211
pshrynk
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Well, I did.
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Old 11-20-2008, 10:33 PM   #212
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"So, Mr. Wallbanger? What shall it be? Step away from the boat and allow me and my associate to go in peace? Or -- Holy Jeezus!" Miyatake dropped the squid, which had, for some reason, turned into an angry electic eel. The eel cast a dirty look over what would have been its shoulder, had it any, and slithered into the lake, swimming away.

"Oh, bugger this! This non-violence shtick has gone on long enough!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out the gun which would have been there if the squid hadn't been hired by accident.

Harv found that his gun had reappeared, as well. He pulled it from the holster.

Somewhere in Wisconsin, an aspiring writer, who really had had it with being a psychiatrist and just wanted to have a little fun with writing an action adventure story, screamed and pulled out his hair.

The two men stood in a face-off.

"Right," said Miyatake, "What now?"
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Old 11-21-2008, 03:50 AM   #213
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Oh man.... you just HAVE to compile this into an ebook once it's done! I'll take mine in PRC format thank you very much!

But what the heck happened to the pirate ninja squirrels?
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Old 11-21-2008, 08:51 AM   #214
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(cut to pshrynk, tearing his hair out over this unexpected plot twist, muttering "stupid unreliable cephalopods !! i had big plans for that squid !")
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Well, I did.
i hope you'll publish the outtakes so we can find out what *would* have happened.
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Somewhere in Wisconsin, an aspiring writer, who really had had it with being a psychiatrist and just wanted to have a little fun with writing an action adventure story, screamed and pulled out his hair.

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Originally Posted by Slite View Post
Oh man.... you just HAVE to compile this into an ebook once it's done! I'll take mine in PRC format thank you very much!

But what the heck happened to the pirate ninja squirrels?
inquiring minds want to know !!!

(no chance of continuity problems or unwrapped-up loose ends when the story is unfolding in real time in Teh Lounge. just call us The Observers.)

oh, and : epub for me, please.
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Old 11-21-2008, 11:42 AM   #215
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Oh man.... you just HAVE to compile this into an ebook once it's done! I'll take mine in PRC format thank you very much!

But what the heck happened to the pirate ninja squirrels?
All I got is mobipocket creator, so someone else will have to translate. I could send the finished Word doc to anyone who is willing...
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Old 11-21-2008, 11:44 AM   #216
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prc = mobipocket, actually.

but i'm sure that we'll be able to find people willing to make other formats...
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Old 11-21-2008, 12:39 PM   #217
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All I got is mobipocket creator, so someone else will have to translate. I could send the finished Word doc to anyone who is willing...
I'll make a book in all three formats: lrf, prc and imp.

But will someone turn that music off, please.
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Old 11-21-2008, 12:52 PM   #218
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Miyatake got a distant look on his face. He pointed the gun at his pants, not losing eye contact with Harv.

"You can come out right now, you little bastiches. I've had enough kids in this life and don't care about collateral damage!"

Four meek looking squirrels scurried out form his pockets and ran off into the jungle. One stopped and threw a salute at Vera before disappearing.

"Now that was just wrong," said Vivaldi.

"Okay,"said Harv, "Just let my dog go, and you can take the boat and leave. We're not in a place we can stop you."

"If I keep the dog, then I am ina better position to accomplish my goals, don't you think?"

"Look, he's just a dog! If I'm going to try something, he wouldn't figure too greatly in my plans."

"I'm standing right here, you know!"

"My children will appreciate having Vivaldi-san back in their playroom."

"I mean, does anyone ever bother to ask me if it would be okay for me to be used as a hostage? No!"

"Don't worry, Viv. Miyatake is a gambling addict. I'll win you back next week."

"Like I'm a piece of property or something! What kind of a life is this? I wouldn't make my cat suffer like this."**

"I am afraid that I will probably be losing Vivaldi-san to the Crown Prince next week, Mr. Harv. After I have finished my business here, I will be recalled and given a hero's welcome at home.

"Besides, my GA group meets on Mondays, so I should be okay."

Miyatake nudged Fujimora, who was whimpering "The fangs! The awful fangs!" to get in the sailboat. He dragged Vivaldi over the gunwale and pulled the mooring line free. The sailboat slipped into Lake Gatun. Fujimora started the outboard with undue haste and they buzzed into the twilight.

"Hasn't anyone ever heard of lifting a dog into a boat? No? Just haul him over by the collar! I'm writing the SPCA!"




**He would have said "dog," but did not, for obvious reasons.
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Old 11-21-2008, 01:02 PM   #219
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oh noes !!!! they got vr !!! how is he going to get away ??? (or is this part of the cunning plan ?)
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Old 11-21-2008, 01:33 PM   #220
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"Hasn't anyone ever heard of lifting a dog into a boat? No? Just haul him over by the collar! I'm writing the SPCA!"

Uh oh! No thumbs makes writing angry letters difficult!
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Old 11-21-2008, 01:52 PM   #221
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"Oh, Harv! That's just awful! Can't we do something?"

"Well, Viv's a pretty strong swimmer. I think he'll be okay."

"He can't swim from Japan!"

"No, even though you can see Russia from Japan and Alaska from Russia. But he can swim from the middle of the Canal."

"What?"

"Well, I was fixing the sailboat this morning. When I got tired of that, I went to have a drink. That's when I found out that you were missing."

Faint screaming in Japanese drifted over the water.

"Harv, never, ever let me complain that you can't fix a leaky boat!" She leaned in and kissed him.
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Old 11-21-2008, 02:10 PM   #222
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Uh oh! No thumbs makes writing angry letters difficult!
Vivaldi can talk. I'm sure he'll just dictate to a secretary. After he swims ashore.
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Old 11-21-2008, 02:11 PM   #223
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a happy ending ! aw, *snif*, that's lovely !!

my sincere and extreme felicitations to you for this masterpiece ! this story is destined to become a timeless classic if ever any story was. i laughed, i cried, and it's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

:standingovation: champagne for everybody !!
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Old 11-21-2008, 02:13 PM   #224
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Satisfying indeed. I love a happy ending!
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Old 11-21-2008, 02:28 PM   #225
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EPILOGUE

The two lovers sat and watched the twilight blend to darkness. There were no cares in the world.

"Harv?"

"Yes, Vera?"

"I'm really sorry."

"About what?"

"Well, in all the excitement of the fight, I sort of pulled the safety switches off the Nippo-Montsnmags Mark IV depth charges in the sailboat. I thought that if there weren't any switches, they would have to not try to destroy the locks."

A faint "crump" sounded out in the Canal, folllowed by largish waves lapping the shore.

"Ah, well," said Harv, "Biggles has a runabout that I can win off him next week at the poker game. He's as bad as Miyatake."

"Does it leak?"

"Sometimes."

"Well that's all right, then." She snuggled back into his arms.



"Mutter, mutter, mutter! Couldn't even give a dog a bit of warning! One minute I'm looking at having to try to swim to Russia and then to Alaska, not to mention finding a way back to Panama, the next I'm swimming for my life! I'd like to see a Jack Russel Terrier do this scene!"

A wet, bedraggled, irritated, gray dog scrambled ashore and shook vigorously. Sitting there, enjoying a few beers and, in at least one case, a smoke were Hugo, Lefty, and the squid.

"You guys got a brew for a poor dog?"

Hugo lifted him out a cold one and offered him a cigarette.

"No thanks! I'm trying to quit."

The squid looked at his companions, as if to say, "Louis, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!"

"Who's Louis?"

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