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Old 08-22-2013, 01:24 PM   #6946
HomeInMyShoes
Ginormous Intergalactic
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
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Old 08-22-2013, 04:34 PM   #6947
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Is that a sandwich?
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Old 08-22-2013, 08:59 PM   #6948
wannabee
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I just saw an ad in the latest Senior Citizen Magazine that said

"You can have sex at 82"

How good is that. I live at 78 so I won't have far to walk.

Last edited by wannabee; 08-22-2013 at 09:01 PM. Reason: typo
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:30 AM   #6949
cromag
Surfing the alpha waves ~
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I just saw an ad in the latest Senior Citizen Magazine that said

"You can have sex at 82"
...
Well, that's a bummer! I'm 60 -- you're telling me I have to wait 22 more years?!?!
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Old 08-23-2013, 03:56 AM   #6950
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Well, that's a bummer! I'm 60 -- you're telling me I have to wait 22 more years?!?!
Ever heard of a program called Head Start?
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:55 AM   #6951
orlok
Getting back into it
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Reminders to self:

Monday - Buy a coffin

Tuesday - Buy a coffin

Wednesday - Buy a coffin

Thursday - Buy a coffin

Friday - Buy a coffin

Saturday - Buy a coffin

Sunday - Buy a coffin

I've recently decided to live everyday like it's my last.
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:10 AM   #6952
steven522
binomial: homo legentem
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I've recently decided to live everyday like it's my last.
I tried that recently but had to stop. The constant crying and wailing was bringing everyone else around me down.
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:12 AM   #6953
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The Good News
Is it strange that my eyes were instantly drawn to the "Kittens" block at the bottom fold before I read anything else in the illustration?
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:44 PM   #6954
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Is it strange that my eyes were instantly drawn to the "Kittens" block at the bottom fold before I read anything else in the illustration?
Did it make you smile? See? Good News
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Old 08-23-2013, 04:49 PM   #6955
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Sheep form a political rally!

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Old 08-23-2013, 06:21 PM   #6956
PeterT
Taking a break; Fed up
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@FBone: Can I please have the 45 minutes or so of my life back? I just watched that whole video!
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:21 PM   #6957
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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Oooow, it's only a minute long?
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Old 08-23-2013, 07:24 PM   #6958
wodin
Illiterate
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@FBone: Can I please have the 45 minutes or so of my life back? I just watched that whole video!
Here you go

Spoiler:
45 minutes or so
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:45 PM   #6959
wannabee
Media Bloke
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Oooow, it's only a minute long?
thats funnier than the video
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Old 08-23-2013, 08:48 PM   #6960
wannabee
Media Bloke
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@FBone: Can I please have the 45 minutes or so of my life back? I just watched that whole video!

see second last line of post 6923
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