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Old 06-14-2013, 02:55 PM   #6631
orlok
Getting back into it
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Old 06-14-2013, 05:16 PM   #6632
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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At my last job interview, I told my interviewer that I plan to give 110%. Unfortunately, I was applying to be a statistician.
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Old 06-14-2013, 08:53 PM   #6633
Stitchawl
Opsimath
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Old 06-15-2013, 07:39 AM   #6634
orlok
Getting back into it
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Old 06-15-2013, 02:21 PM   #6635
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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If you watch Jaws backwards, it’s about a shark who throws up so many people, they have to open a beach.
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Old 06-15-2013, 03:03 PM   #6636
samhy
Wizard
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Can't give you karma for that one, but I wanted to
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Old 06-16-2013, 05:15 AM   #6637
Lynx-lynx
Cheeky Kiki!!
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.

SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL .

'YES, YES I DID. I'M A MORGANNER! 'HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?' I ASKED

HE ANSWERED, IN 1965.. WHY DO YOU ASK?

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN THE UGLY,

OLD,

BALD,

WRINKLED,

FAT ARSED,

GREY HAIRED,

DECREPIT,

BASTARD

ASKED..

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?'
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Old 06-16-2013, 04:17 PM   #6638
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
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I do ten sit ups every morning. It might not sound like much but there are only so many times you can hit the snooze button.
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Old 06-17-2013, 05:06 AM   #6639
orlok
Getting back into it
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Old 06-17-2013, 04:21 PM   #6640
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
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Old 06-18-2013, 01:16 PM   #6641
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall."
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Old 06-18-2013, 03:47 PM   #6642
HomeInMyShoes
Ginormous Intergalactic
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Can't give you karma for that one, but I wanted to
Neither can I. That's just a great one.
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Old 06-19-2013, 12:48 PM   #6643
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Old 06-19-2013, 03:43 PM   #6644
badgoodDeb
Wizard
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Any further context to this one? I'm missing the point ...
Plus, this town is only 30 miles or so from me, so I'm curious what the article was about!
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Old 06-19-2013, 03:45 PM   #6645
badgoodDeb
Wizard
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"Grab a plate and throw it on the floor."
"Okay, done."
"Did it break?"
"Yes."
"Now say sorry to it."
"Sorry."
"Did it go back to how it was before?"
"No."
"Now do you understand?"
Not funny, precisely, but PERFECT to describe a bad relationship!
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