Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 397

Stitchawl · 01-19-2013, 07:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iznogood

How could I forget about Philip Marlowe

Almost all the scenes in Carr's "recap" is present in the Marlowe novels. Substitute "crystal flask" for "dubloon" and you have "The High Window". And the murders in all the apartmenthouses are also present in a Marlowe-novel, but I forget which.

As for the others you mention, I must admit that they are unknown to me. Are they good reading material?

The Spenser books are wonderful! Long series best read in order to fully appreciate all the characters that get added along the way, and their relationships towards each other. The others were, as far as I know, only TV series.

Stitchawl

orlok · 01-19-2013, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

The Spenser books are wonderful! Long series best read in order to fully appreciate all the characters that get added along the way, and their relationships towards each other. The others were, as far as I know, only TV series.

Stitchawl

My favourite detective series ever

. I once re-read the whole series (34 books at the time - now over 40) back-to-back.

Iznogood · 01-19-2013, 07:49 AM

Then I shall certainly check it out. I see Amazon has most, if not all, of Parker's books as kindles

Stitchawl · 01-19-2013, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

My favourite detective series ever

. I once re-read the whole series (34 books at the time - now over 40) back-to-back.

I've read the whole series a couple of times, and now read just the occasional one every few months. Read all Jesse Stone, Sunny Randall, and now working through the westerns too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iznogood

Then I shall certainly check it out. I see Amazon has most, if not all, of Parker's books as kindles

The Spenser books, while having nice plots, are more about the interaction of the characters, the glib reparte' dialog between them, and the ethics that Spenser employs to do what he needs to do. Please do read them in order.

Stitchawl

orlok · 01-19-2013, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

I've read the whole series a couple of times, and now read just the occasional one every few months. Read all Jesse Stone, Sunny Randall, and now working through the westerns too.

The Spenser books, while having nice plots, are more about the interaction of the characters, the glib reparte' dialog between them, and the ethics that Spenser employs to do what he needs to do. Please do read them in order.

Stitchawl

yes, I've read all his books too, am in the middle of Ironhorse right now. unfortunately not written by the great man himself as he is no longer with us.

wodin · 01-19-2013, 02:54 PM

It was COL Mustard, in the Parlor, with the lead pipe!

Fbone · 01-19-2013, 11:44 PM

Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations.

She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the Summer. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota,” he said.

“That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,” the teacher said, “Can you tell the class how you spell that?”

Little Johnny thought about it and said, “Come to think of it, she lives in Ohio.”

orlok · 01-20-2013, 07:51 AM

Did you know, that if you put a sea shell next to your ear, and listen very carefully for the sound of the sea....

You really are awfully gullible.

wannabee · 01-20-2013, 08:36 AM

The Oil of Olay helps fight the seven signs of ageing.

I didn't know there were seven signs of ageing. I asked myself, "What might these seven signs be?"
1- you die your hair blue
2- you watch more of the ABC
3- you can't program a video recorder
4- you drive very slowly with a white bowling hat on the parcel shelf
5- you smell like moth balls
6- if you are a bloke you wear your pants up around your nipples
7- if you are a woman you wear your nipples down around your pants

Figwit · 01-21-2013, 05:27 AM

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!

~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore.

~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.

~~~But Old is good in some things: Old songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!

Fbone · 01-22-2013, 01:02 AM

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

“Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

MJK2111 · 01-22-2013, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

The Oil of Olay helps fight the seven signs of ageing.

I didn't know there were seven signs of ageing. I asked myself, "What might these seven signs be?"
4- you drive very slowly with a white bowling hat on the parcel shelf

Sorry, but I've got to ask...what the heck is a "bowling hat"...

James_Wilde · 01-22-2013, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJK2111

Sorry, but I've got to ask...what the heck is a "bowling hat"...

Excuse me, Colonel Kentucky, but judging from your avatar, you shouldn't need to ask! Looks like you're one of us who have our trousers up to our nipples.

Fbone · 01-22-2013, 11:05 PM

Doctor Carver was old and feeble, but he still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house because Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain.

The doctor came out of the bedroom just moments after he’d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, “Do you have a hammer?”

A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom.

A moment later, Dr. Carver came out and asked, “Do you have a chisel?” Mr. Tuttle complied with the request.

In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw.

The last request finally got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, “What are you doing to my wife?”

“So far, not a thing.” replied old Doctor Carver. “I still haven’t gotten my instrument bag open!”

maianhvk · 01-23-2013, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doreenjoy

I think it was intended to that way. Remember the joke, there are 3 types of people: those who can count and those who can't?

01-19-2013, 07:49 AM	#5943
Iznogood Guru Posts: 910 Karma: 15697153 Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Norway Device: Ipad, kindle paperwhite	Then I shall certainly check it out. I see Amazon has most, if not all, of Parker's books as kindles __________________ Just to avoid confusion: I have changed my user name/screen name from Norway1456 to Iznogood. New name - same guy. PS: The name should not be taken seriously

01-20-2013, 08:36 AM	#5949
wannabee Professional Amateur Posts: 2,234 Karma: 107023581 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: a bag of apples	The Oil of Olay helps fight the seven signs of ageing. I didn't know there were seven signs of ageing. I asked myself, "What might these seven signs be?" 1- you die your hair blue 2- you watch more of the ABC 3- you can't program a video recorder 4- you drive very slowly with a white bowling hat on the parcel shelf 5- you smell like moth balls 6- if you are a bloke you wear your pants up around your nipples 7- if you are a woman you wear your nipples down around your pants __________________ Mark

01-21-2013, 05:27 AM	#5950
Figwit Zealot Posts: 105 Karma: 1410580 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: IPad, Kindle 3, Kindle 4, Kindle Touch	TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS. ~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good.. Coming home is better! ~You forget names.... But it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!! ~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything. ~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. ~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep". ~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch.. ~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ??? ~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. ~You notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!! ~What used to be freckles are now liver spots. ~Everybody whispers. ~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear. ~~~But Old is good in some things: Old songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!! Last edited by Figwit; 01-21-2013 at 05:30 AM.

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01-19-2013, 11:44 PM	#5947
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,212 Karma: 59108411 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	Summer was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the Summer. “We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota,” he said. “That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,” the teacher said, “Can you tell the class how you spell that?” Little Johnny thought about it and said, “Come to think of it, she lives in Ohio.”

01-20-2013, 07:51 AM	#5948
orlok Desperation Posts: 7,216 Karma: 208692942 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Fire HD, Kobo glo	Did you know, that if you put a sea shell next to your ear, and listen very carefully for the sound of the sea.... You really are awfully gullible.

01-22-2013, 01:02 AM	#5951
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,212 Karma: 59108411 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, she’s dead.”

01-22-2013, 11:05 PM	#5954
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,212 Karma: 59108411 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	Doctor Carver was old and feeble, but he still made house calls. One afternoon he was called to the Tuttle house because Mrs. Tuttle was in terrible pain. The doctor came out of the bedroom just moments after he’d gone in and asked Mr. Tuttle, “Do you have a hammer?” A puzzled Mr. Tuttle went to the garage, and returned with a hammer. The doctor thanked him and went back into the bedroom. A moment later, Dr. Carver came out and asked, “Do you have a chisel?” Mr. Tuttle complied with the request. In the next ten minutes, Dr. Carver asked for and received a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request finally got to Mr. Tuttle. He asked, “What are you doing to my wife?” “So far, not a thing.” replied old Doctor Carver. “I still haven’t gotten my instrument bag open!”


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