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Old 11-07-2012, 09:38 PM   #5581
Daithi
Publishers are evil!
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A young man goes to a local pharmacy to buy some condoms, and the pharmacist can tell that the young man is quite nervous. The two start talking and the young man admits that this will be his first time. That pharmacist provides some words of encouragement and tries to calm the young man's nerves.

A few hours later the young man arrives at his girlfriend's house. He meets her parents and has a nice meal with them. After dinner his girlfriend grabs his hand and tells her parents that she and her bo are going to go out for a while. However, to her surprise and annoyance, her boyfriend suggests that the whole family play a game of Monopoly.

Several hours later the game is over and the young man says he is going to head back home. His girlfriend takes him aside and says, "I thought we were going to have sex tonight. Did I do something wrong?"

Her boyfriend replies, "Well maybe you could have told me your father is a pharmacist."
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:20 AM   #5582
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I was walking through the park when I had a very bad asthma attack. These three asthmatics attacked me.
I know . . . . I should have heard them hiding.
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Old 11-08-2012, 08:55 AM   #5583
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very bad asthma attack....
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Old 11-08-2012, 10:07 AM   #5584
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In Spain

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Old 11-08-2012, 11:06 AM   #5585
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It's true: The more things change, the more they stay the same, ay least for US citizens. Back in the sixties we all headed to Mexico to get our drugs. Now we go to Canada.
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Old 11-08-2012, 11:16 AM   #5586
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During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.
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Old 11-08-2012, 04:13 PM   #5587
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During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.
Groan!
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Old 11-08-2012, 06:25 PM   #5588
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If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
I was mildly dyslexic as a child, and it took me a couple fo times to get it
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Old 11-08-2012, 07:14 PM   #5589
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During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.


This may be the best pun I've heard in years. Then again, can the word 'best' really be used when talking about puns?


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Old 11-08-2012, 09:42 PM   #5590
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Guess we wait for an aussies opinion on that, they already have a pest of bunnies.
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:05 AM   #5591
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During the long dark nights in the Serengeti, young antelopes often like to scare each other by telling stories about Vlad the Impala.
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Old 11-09-2012, 12:36 PM   #5592
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How many negative people does it take to change a light bulb?

Loads, and anyway what's the bloody point?
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Old 11-09-2012, 03:53 PM   #5593
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It's true: The more things change, the more they stay the same, ay least for US citizens. Back in the sixties we all headed to Mexico to get our drugs. Now we go to Canada.
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Old 11-09-2012, 03:57 PM   #5594
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A young man goes to a local pharmacy to buy some condoms, and the pharmacist can tell that the young man is quite nervous. The two start talking and the young man admits that this will be his first time. That pharmacist provides some words of encouragement and tries to calm the young man's nerves.

A few hours later the young man arrives at his girlfriend's house. He meets her parents and has a nice meal with them. After dinner his girlfriend grabs his hand and tells her parents that she and her bo are going to go out for a while. However, to her surprise and annoyance, her boyfriend suggests that the whole family play a game of Monopoly.

Several hours later the game is over and the young man says he is going to head back home. His girlfriend takes him aside and says, "I thought we were going to have sex tonight. Did I do something wrong?"

Her boyfriend replies, "Well maybe you could have told me your father is a pharmacist."

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Old 11-09-2012, 05:14 PM   #5595
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Is that a sandwich?
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The first restaurant on the moon isn't doing very well. It's got great food, but no atmosphere.
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