Register Guidelines E-Books Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Go Back   MobileRead Forums > Miscellaneous > Lounge

Notices

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-17-2012, 12:58 AM   #5491
Nexutix
with TBR of 500+ !!!
Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nexutix ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Nexutix's Avatar
 
Posts: 578
Karma: 8250074
Join Date: Oct 2010
Device: Infibeam Pi, iPod Touch 4G
So...

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

Spoiler:
Dam!
Nexutix is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 07:01 AM   #5492
Stitchawl
Opsimath
Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Stitchawl's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,130
Karma: 172479593
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ..... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:





1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.


2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.



Stitchawl
Stitchawl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 07:58 PM   #5493
Stitchawl
Opsimath
Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Stitchawl ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Stitchawl's Avatar
 
Posts: 11,130
Karma: 172479593
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand
Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy
HAVING A BAD DAY.......... READ THIS......A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished
to see the bed
was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an
envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed,
'Dad.'

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with
trembling hands, read the letter...

"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid scene
with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she
is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all
her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she
is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream
of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't
really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it
with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and
ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for
AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know
your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
school report card that's on the kitchen table.



Stitchawl
Stitchawl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 08:37 PM   #5494
wannabee
Media Bloke
wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Posts: 2,373
Karma: 113956855
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NSW - Australia
Device: iOS
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when
all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into
his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a
driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff......
..And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this on to your girlfriends who might need a good laugh!
Or to men who need a warning!
And remember: Money talks...chocolate sings.

Another giggle...

My husband, unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy diamonds.
wannabee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 09:15 PM   #5495
Daithi
Publishers are evil!
Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Daithi's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,418
Karma: 36205264
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rhode Island
Device: Various Kindles
My cousin is a truck driver and while going under a bridge he got his truck stuck. Eventually a cop showed up and said, "Got your truck stuck?"

My cousin smiled and replied, "No, I was delivering this overpass and ran out of gas."
Daithi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-17-2012, 10:02 PM   #5496
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Fbone's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,175
Karma: 67393653
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Searching ...
A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
Fbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2012, 12:03 AM   #5497
Daithi
Publishers are evil!
Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Daithi ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Daithi's Avatar
 
Posts: 2,418
Karma: 36205264
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Rhode Island
Device: Various Kindles
When we were kids, my cousin and I were fishing when this cop walks up asks, "You boys fishing?"

My cousin smiled and replied, "No, we're drowning these here worms."
Daithi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-18-2012, 03:27 PM   #5498
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Fbone's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,175
Karma: 67393653
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Searching ...
I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire.
Fbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 04:26 AM   #5499
orlok
Getting back into it
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 8,153
Karma: 225418312
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Fire HD, Kobo glo
When I was young I was scared of the dark.

Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 08:14 AM   #5500
wannabee
Media Bloke
wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.wannabee ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Posts: 2,373
Karma: 113956855
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NSW - Australia
Device: iOS
Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
When I was young I was scared of the dark.

Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
Oh I am going to steal that. Most in my office at work have seen their electricity bill go from around $300-600 to over a thousand this quarter.

What a shocker! We were stunned.
wannabee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 11:29 AM   #5501
orlok
Getting back into it
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 8,153
Karma: 225418312
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Fire HD, Kobo glo
Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabee View Post
Oh I am going to steal that. Most in my office at work have seen their electricity bill go from around $300-600 to over a thousand this quarter.

What a shocker! We were stunned.
Same thing has been happening for my Mum in South Africa. Only there to add insult to injury they are also getting planned blackouts that can last for days...
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 03:56 PM   #5502
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Fbone's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,175
Karma: 67393653
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Searching ...
The Wheel: Man's greatest invention until he got behind it.
Fbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-19-2012, 09:04 PM   #5503
Bookpossum
Snoozing in the sun
Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Bookpossum ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Bookpossum's Avatar
 
Posts: 6,880
Karma: 72689693
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Device: Kobo Touch (mine), Sony PRS-T1 (husband's)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fbone View Post
The Wheel: Man's greatest invention until he got behind it.
Here's the culprit!
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Cartoons_0021.jpg
Views:	115
Size:	74.3 KB
ID:	94503  
Bookpossum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 07:27 AM   #5504
orlok
Getting back into it
orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.orlok ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
orlok's Avatar
 
Posts: 8,153
Karma: 225418312
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: UK
Device: Kindle Fire HD, Kobo glo
I just saw 9 grim reapers walking down the street drinking beer.

So either it's a Halloween party or somebody's cat just died.
orlok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-20-2012, 02:51 PM   #5505
Fbone
Is that a sandwich?
Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Fbone ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
Fbone's Avatar
 
Posts: 5,175
Karma: 67393653
Join Date: Jun 2010
Device: Searching ...
One time when my son was 3 years old, I took him shopping. When we got home, he had a candy bar in his pocket. I didn't buy it, and he certainly didn't buy it, so we marched back to the mall - and we went to the jewelry store.
Fbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Good Day Eh!! :-) Gedvondur Introduce Yourself 12 07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background? rlsamson Barnes & Noble NOOK 3 06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Add from the Mobile Read Library? danwdoo Calibre 6 05-01-2010 07:14 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released Alexander Turcic Reading and Management 2 02-20-2006 03:47 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:37 AM.


MobileRead.com is a privately owned, operated and funded community.