Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 366

Fbone · 10-10-2012, 06:22 PM

I'm hoping to find a cure for my hiccups, but I'm not holding my breath.

Bookpossum · 10-10-2012, 06:29 PM

Try a spoonful of sugar!

amward · 10-10-2012, 10:10 PM

helps the medicine go down!

Fbone · 10-11-2012, 03:06 AM

Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.

Fbone · 10-11-2012, 03:32 PM

The sign at the rehab center said "Keep Off The Grass."

Fbone · 10-12-2012, 07:37 PM

A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

Daithi · 10-12-2012, 11:39 PM

Do not read if you don't want to groan.

Annie Oakley was famous for pulling off a trick shot where she used a mirror to aim at a target that was behind her. What is not so well known is that she missed the first time she attempted this miraculous shot, and she killed a spectator in the audience. Wild West historians refer to this incident as Annie Oakley's mirror kill.

cromag · 10-13-2012, 04:37 AM

*groan*

Fbone · 10-13-2012, 07:18 PM

One good turn gets most of the blankets.

74Cuda · 10-14-2012, 01:00 PM

An easy guide to keeping political news in
perspective ...

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people
who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who
think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who
think they should run the country, and who
are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they
ought to run the country but don't really
understand The New York Times. They do,
however, like their statistics shown in pie
charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who
wouldn't mind running the country, if they could
find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave
Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose
parents used to run the country and did a
poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people
who aren't too sure who's running the country
and don't really care as long as they can get
a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who
don't care who is running the country as long
as they do something really scandalous,
preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are
running another country, but need the baseball
scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people
who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone
is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they
stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist,
atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal
aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided
of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped
in line at the grocery store.

12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have
recently caught a fish and need something to
wrap it in.

Fbone · 10-14-2012, 06:53 PM

"Doctor, doctor! Will this ointment clear up my spots?"
"I never make rash promises."

wannabee · 10-15-2012, 09:16 AM

This fellow goes to see the doctor. He is shy and intimidated but builds up the courage to tell the doctor why he came.
"You probably wouldn't guess doc, but I have terrible flatulence and I was wondering if you had something that would fix it?"
The doc says to please wait a minute and he steps outside and returns with a giant stick, like a fisherman's pike and it's has a great big hook on the end.
The man screams and says "What are you going to do with that?"
The doctor says "I'm going to open the sky light and let in some fresh air."

Daithi · 10-15-2012, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

This fellow goes to see the doctor. He is shy and intimidated but builds up the courage to tell the doctor why he came.
"You probably wouldn't guess doc, but I have terrible flatulence and I was wondering if you had something that would fix it?"
The doc says to please wait a minute and he steps outside and returns with a giant stick, like a fisherman's pike and it's has a great big hook on the end.
The man screams and says "What are you going to do with that?"
The doctor says "I'm going to open the sky light and let in some fresh air."

Does this joke have anything to do with your avatar?

Fbone · 10-15-2012, 02:51 PM

The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy

Fbone · 10-16-2012, 04:39 PM

I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make this interesting".

So we stopped playing chess.

10-10-2012, 06:29 PM	#5477
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 5,076 Karma: 64461897 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: Kobo Touch (mine), Sony PRS-T1 (husband's)	Try a spoonful of sugar! __________________ Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. (Garrison Keillor)

10-10-2012, 10:10 PM	#5478
amward Wizard Posts: 1,299 Karma: 2081110 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: SW Australia Device: Eco Eclipse, Sony PRS 350 (pink), Ipod Touch, Kindle Touch	helps the medicine go down! __________________ Anne In this house cat hair is an accessory.

10-13-2012, 04:37 AM	#5483
cromag My own Cosmic Overlord Posts: 1,377 Karma: 1821000 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite, Acer Netbook, a new Android and an old Android	groan __________________ My first backlist story to be ebooked, free at Smashwords. My second. And my newest.

10-14-2012, 01:00 PM	#5485
74Cuda MaxPuppy Rules Posts: 17,601 Karma: 20994398 Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: NW Oregon Device: Kindle 3, Kindle Fire, Kindle Fire HD, Acer A200	An easy guide to keeping political news in perspective ... 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores. 10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans. 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store. 12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in. __________________

10-15-2012, 09:16 AM	#5487
wannabee Professional Amateur Posts: 2,205 Karma: 106855985 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: a bag of apples	This fellow goes to see the doctor. He is shy and intimidated but builds up the courage to tell the doctor why he came. "You probably wouldn't guess doc, but I have terrible flatulence and I was wondering if you had something that would fix it?" The doc says to please wait a minute and he steps outside and returns with a giant stick, like a fisherman's pike and it's has a great big hook on the end. The man screams and says "What are you going to do with that?" The doctor says "I'm going to open the sky light and let in some fresh air." __________________ Mark

10-10-2012, 06:22 PM	#5476
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	I'm hoping to find a cure for my hiccups, but I'm not holding my breath.

10-11-2012, 03:06 AM	#5479
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	Drink your coffee; there are people in India sleeping.

10-11-2012, 03:32 PM	#5480
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	The sign at the rehab center said "Keep Off The Grass."

10-12-2012, 07:37 PM	#5481
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "But that would make no sense at all!"

10-12-2012, 11:39 PM	#5482
Daithi Publishers are evil! Posts: 2,418 Karma: 36205264 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Rhode Island Device: Various Kindles	Do not read if you don't want to groan. Annie Oakley was famous for pulling off a trick shot where she used a mirror to aim at a target that was behind her. What is not so well known is that she missed the first time she attempted this miraculous shot, and she killed a spectator in the audience. Wild West historians refer to this incident as Annie Oakley's mirror kill.

10-13-2012, 07:18 PM	#5484
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	One good turn gets most of the blankets.

10-14-2012, 06:53 PM	#5486
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	"Doctor, doctor! Will this ointment clear up my spots?" "I never make rash promises."

10-15-2012, 02:51 PM	#5489
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy

10-16-2012, 04:39 PM	#5490
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,101 Karma: 57695741 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let's make this interesting". So we stopped playing chess.

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search


Advertisement Enthusiast

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	6	05-01-2010 07:14 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM