Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 355

Kumabjorn · 09-04-2012, 12:15 AM

Where do you keep your phone?

orlok · 09-04-2012, 06:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Autocorrect can be a writer's best friend or her worst enema.

Like the new avatar Tom. Now all together..."Da dum te diddly dum ta dum, da dum te diddly dum ta dum, dum te dum dum, dum te dum dum..." etc.

Stitchawl · 09-04-2012, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Like the new avatar Tom. Now all together..."Da dum te diddly dum ta dum, da dum te diddly dum ta dum, dum te dum dum, dum te dum dum..." etc.

Hey! You got that pretty spot on! I hadn't noticed Tom's new avatar, but recognized the tune immediately. Then I turned back a page to check! Well done!

Stitchawl

orlok · 09-04-2012, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Hey! You got that pretty spot on! I hadn't noticed Tom's new avatar, but recognized the tune immediately. Then I turned back a page to check! Well done!

Stitchawl

Just be glad you can't hear me vocalise it

Nexutix · 09-04-2012, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Stitchawl

I love this one. It is not only funny, but I find it deeply meaningful.

Fbone · 09-04-2012, 10:45 PM

Sherlock Holmes and Watson were on a camping and hiking trip.
They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky.
Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see?
"Well, I see thousands of stars."
And what does that mean to you?"
"Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?"
"To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

Fbone · 09-06-2012, 03:11 AM

Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock, Please don't ring bell.

Fbone · 09-06-2012, 11:26 PM

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

yvanleterrible · 09-07-2012, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?"
Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

No wonder, it's the wrong question to ask...

Figwit · 09-07-2012, 06:41 AM

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says,
"Hang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.

"And you can talk!"Exclaims the barman.

"I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck.

"Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.

"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck.

"I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him

"You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!"

"Sounds marvellous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card.

"Get him to give me a call."

So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says,

"Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money."

"I'm always looking for the next job,"

Says the duck.

"Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" Repeats the duck.

"That's right," Replies the barman.

"The circus?" The duck asks again “with the big tent?"

"Yeah," the barman replies.

"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.

"Of course," the barman replies.

"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.

"That's right!" says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. .
"Whatever would they want with a plasterer??!"

Fbone · 09-07-2012, 08:48 PM

When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place.
"It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad."

Nexutix · 09-08-2012, 12:05 AM

Stitchawl · 09-08-2012, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexutix

Simply brilliant!

Stitchawl

orlok · 09-08-2012, 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nexutix

orlok · 09-08-2012, 06:13 AM

- I never polish my mirror, which reflects badly on me.

- My doctor has given me some anti-gloating cream. Now all I want to do is rub it in.

09-04-2012, 12:15 AM	#5311
Kumabjorn Basculocolpic Posts: 3,018 Karma: 15802129 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Kindle 3 WiFi, Kindle 4SO, Kindle for Android, Sony PRS-350 and PRS-T1	Where do you keep your phone? __________________ Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

09-08-2012, 12:05 AM	#5322
Nexutix with TBR of 500+ !!! Posts: 578 Karma: 8250074 Join Date: Oct 2010 Device: Infibeam Pi, iPod Touch 4G	__________________ Currently reading: Textbooks

Thread Tools	Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Email this Page	Search this Thread: Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	6	05-01-2010 07:14 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

09-04-2012, 10:45 PM	#5316
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,121 Karma: 57718685 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	Sherlock Holmes and Watson were on a camping and hiking trip. They had gone to bed and were lying there looking up at the sky. Holmes said, "Watson, look up. What do you see? "Well, I see thousands of stars." And what does that mean to you?" "Well, I guess it means we will have another nice day tomorrow. What does it mean to you, Holmes?" "To me, it means someone has stolen our tent."

09-06-2012, 03:11 AM	#5317
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,121 Karma: 57718685 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock, Please don't ring bell.

09-06-2012, 11:26 PM	#5318
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,121 Karma: 57718685 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

09-07-2012, 06:41 AM	#5320
Figwit Zealot Posts: 105 Karma: 1410580 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Australia Device: IPad, Kindle 3, Kindle 4, Kindle Touch	A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!"Exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" "Certainly, sorry about that," Says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint. "It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?" "I'm working on the building site across the road," Explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer." The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for two weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!" "Sounds marvellous,"says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call." So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money." "I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?" "At the circus," Says the barman. "The circus?" Repeats the duck. "That's right," Replies the barman. "The circus?" The duck asks again “with the big tent?" "Yeah," the barman replies. "With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck. "Of course," the barman replies. "And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck. "That's right!" says the barman. The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says .. . "Whatever would they want with a plasterer??!"

09-07-2012, 08:48 PM	#5321
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 4,121 Karma: 57718685 Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: NJ Device: Searching ...	When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. "It's terrific," he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. But poor mom is still in with dad."

09-08-2012, 06:13 AM	#5325
orlok Desperation Posts: 7,169 Karma: 207511074 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Fire HD, Kobo glo	- I never polish my mirror, which reflects badly on me. - My doctor has given me some anti-gloating cream. Now all I want to do is rub it in.


Advertisement Enthusiast