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Old 12-11-2008, 03:15 PM   #1
Ralph Sir Edward
Gentleman & Cynic
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MARRIAGE SURVIVAL KIT

And yes, I really did do this for a Lady Boss I had had when she got married, at the reception, to thunderous applause by all the guests. The marriage is still rolling along, bottle unopened....



Marriage Survival Kit


Contents

1 HIS package

1 HERS package

1 Bottle Fine Rum

Instructions for Use


Groom should open the HIS package

Inside he will find a gold coin with a queen on it. This is to remind him that the princess that he has now married is now his Queen. Queens are imperious and demanding. This is their ancient right. Having married your Queen, you are required to follow and obey her whims, no matter how strange they may seem. Although this is impossible for any husband to do, you are required to divine her thoughts, and obey them before she speaks.


Bride should open the HERS package

Inside she will find a gold coin with a king on it. This is to remind her that the knight in shining armor that has married her is now her King. Kings are dominating and decisive, and have the honorable, noble, and inalienable right to be wrong. This is their ancient right. Having married your King, you are required to allow him to be wrong, and not complain about it...
MUCH..

The Bottle of Fine Rum

Should either member of royalty decide that despite everything, they can no longer fulfill the requirements above, that person is required to swallow their wrath, sit down with the spouse, and share the contents of the Bottle of Rum, followed by several kisses, and let nature take it course. This should maintain a contented marriage for as long as their livers hold out.

P.S. The spouse who opened the Bottle is required to replace the empty for the next occurrence.


WARRANTY - If this doesn't work, the giver will accept the refund of the unused booze and both gold coins. He's cheap and greedy.


Copyright 2003 - Ralph Sir Edward

Last edited by Ralph Sir Edward; 12-11-2008 at 03:17 PM.
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Old 12-11-2008, 03:17 PM   #2
Slite
Icanhasdonuts?
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That, is just fraking brilliant!
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Old 12-11-2008, 03:24 PM   #3
DixieGal
Hi There!
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That's really sweet.

For Tim and me, we try to always treat each other nicer than we would treat a stranger.

Think about it.
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Old 12-11-2008, 04:17 PM   #4
vivaldirules
When's Doughnut Day?
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Nicely done.
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Old 12-11-2008, 05:34 PM   #5
RickyMaveety
Holy S**T!!!
RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.RickyMaveety lived happily ever after.
 
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Cheap, greedy and a booze hound!!

Also a very good writer.
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Old 12-11-2008, 06:47 PM   #6
Ralph Sir Edward
Gentleman & Cynic
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RickyMaveety View Post
Cheap, greedy and a booze hound!!

Also a very good writer.

Quiet, I have an image to maintain.

Cheap, greedy and a booze hound!!
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Old 12-11-2008, 07:11 PM   #7
RWood
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Quiet, I have an image to maintain. ...
Writer, waiter, whatever.
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Old 12-11-2008, 07:42 PM   #8
Johns1NOnly
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love it!! just how a marriage should be than for sharing
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