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Old 09-16-2008, 03:34 PM   #91
pshrynk
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
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@ Steve: Granted. Unfortunately, it was taken over in a hostile bid by Rupert Murdoch, who is calling you and asking about those books he wanted written on the ultimate Legacy of George Bush.

@ Neko: Granted. Unfortunately, she's in a Very Bad Mood.

I wish that this weekend's weather could be as lovely as today.
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:37 PM   #92
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Granted. But the genie thought you said "I wish my next fish is exempt from fish corruption." a bit deef in one ear... so sorry. Now your fish will never die.

Is it too late to wish my famous and popular patron to be the estate of Arthur C. Clarke?
Granted. Your most famous and popular patron is now Arthur G. Clark of Birmingham, Alabama. He still moves his lips when he reads silently, but he likes your work anyway. He prefers very short stories with no big words to be sounded out, and he insists that you put more illustrations in future books.

I wish that my diet Mt Dew bottle was full again with icy cold soda.

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Old 09-16-2008, 03:42 PM   #93
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Granted. Your most famous and popular patron is now Arthur G. Clark of Birmingham, Alabama. He still moves his lips when he reads silently, but he likes your work anyway. He prefers very short stories with no big words to be sounded out, and he insists that you put more illustrations in future books.

I wish that my diet Mt Dew bottle was full again with icy cold soda.
Granted, your bottle is filled with a solid lump of soda in frozen form, and by some fluke of nature, it will never melt.

I wish I didnt have to work tomorrow
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:47 PM   #94
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Granted, your bottle is filled with a solid lump of soda in frozen form, and by some fluke of nature, it will never melt.

I wish I didnt have to work tomorrow

Yummy, Dewsicles!

Granted, but I don't think you will like the nasty stomach bug that forces you to stay home.

I'm happy here with my permafrozen Dewsicle. There's nothing left to wish for, so I'm just gonna grant wishes. I wish I could do that all day every day.
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Old 09-16-2008, 03:54 PM   #95
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Yummy, Dewsicles!

Granted, but I don't think you will like the nasty stomach bug that forces you to stay home.

I'm happy here with my permafrozen Dewsicle. There's nothing left to wish for, so I'm just gonna grant wishes. I wish I could do that all day every day.
Granted. But you have to live in a bottle, wear really skimpy clothes, and put up with Major Healy.

I still wish that the weather for this weekend would be the same as today.
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Old 09-16-2008, 04:00 PM   #96
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I wish I didnt have to work tomorrow
Granted: you're dead.

I wish, since this is my un-corruptible reverse wish, meaning I think, that what I actually wish for is what I'll get, is for every event to happen post-wish exactly as it would have if I had never made this wish, with the sole exception that the weather, wherever I am, is perfect, according to my own criteria.

Is that iron-clad enough?
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Old 09-16-2008, 05:40 PM   #97
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I still wish that the weather for this weekend would be the same as today.
Granted. You are now living the film Groundhog Day.

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I wish, since this is my un-corruptible reverse wish, meaning I think, that what I actually wish for is what I'll get, is for every event to happen post-wish exactly as it would have if I had never made this wish, with the sole exception that the weather, wherever I am, is perfect, according to my own criteria.

Is that iron-clad enough?
Granted. Sadly you still wear the clothes and do the things you would have if the weather was not perfect, and so are unable to enjoy the weather.

I wish this wish would not be granted.
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Old 09-16-2008, 06:11 PM   #98
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But if the weather is perfect according to my own criteria doesn't that give me a loophole?
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Old 09-16-2008, 07:43 PM   #99
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But if the weather is perfect according to my own criteria doesn't that give me a loophole?
Okay, okay, Granted. All your wishes have come true exactly as you wanted them to. However, as you are a robot, and you have just run out of juice, you are not in much of a position to enjoy any of it.

I wish I had just defeated the killer robot sent from the future (probably from Switzerland) to destroy me before I make the world Heaven On Earth.
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Old 09-16-2008, 09:07 PM   #100
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But you did Mr Jordan. Now please take your meds.


I wish the most wonderful thing would happen to the next poster.
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Old 09-16-2008, 09:15 PM   #101
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But you did Mr Jordan. Now please take your meds.


I wish the most wonderful thing would happen to the next poster.
Your wish comes true, but your definition of "the most wonderful thing" doesn't match-up with the next poster's, who is wondering why he is sitting in a bath full of custard with Albert Einstein and a giraffe.

I wish I wasn't playing host to the black dog.
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Old 09-17-2008, 02:39 AM   #102
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Your wish comes true, but your definition of "the most wonderful thing" doesn't match-up with the next poster's, who is wondering why he is sitting in a bath full of custard with Albert Einstein and a giraffe.

I wish I wasn't playing host to the black dog.
Granted, instead you will play host to 13 gerbils in tutu's, a red squirrel with insomnia problems and a bunny rabbit with paranoia.

I wish that I didn't have to go on call for a week starting Friday night.
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Old 09-17-2008, 08:49 AM   #103
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I wish that I didn't have to go on call for a week starting Friday night.
Granted: you're dead.

I wish seasonal allergies didn't exist.
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Old 09-17-2008, 08:57 AM   #104
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I wish seasonal allergies didn't exist.
Granted. They're annual now.

I wish I could speak... no, that's been done.

I wish I were... no, we did that, too.

I wish... I wish... I wish I were a fish...
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Old 09-17-2008, 09:44 AM   #105
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Granted. They're annual now.

I wish I could speak... no, that's been done.

I wish I were... no, we did that, too.

I wish... I wish... I wish I were a fish...

Granted. Now you are a clownfish.

I wish I had a big chunk of cheesecake and a cup of coffee from the Starbucks in the lobby that is tooo convenient and I pass it every time I leave my office and it tempts me with its delicious siren call of cheesecake. (Note to self: Stop wishing for cheesecake for breakfast.)
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